Well, it’s been a while since I discussed the topic that is near and dear to my, ummm, heart.
Poop transplants! — The ultimate solution to my Crohn’s disease woes.
OK, it’s nearer to my hiney, but you can’t claim you weren’t expecting that.
Earlier today I was discussing my future poop transplant with my boss. (It’s true, I have no pride what so ever.) She’s very interested in the idea. She wants me healthy, of course, but really, I think she wants to see what happens from a scientific perspective. And, frankly, I can’t blame her. I want to know what’ll happen from a scientific point of view, too. And from the perspective of a toilet paper consumer.
You may recall that I’ve mentioned that you have to be very choosy when choosing a poop donor. If the donor is fat, or depressed, or psychotic, well, the recipient can become fat, or depressed or psychotic. I haven’t researched what happens if you choose someone immature, though. Perhaps I should.
Anyway, the issue was on my mind tonight when I began reading the news. And I found my donor!
He is young and healthy, albeit a little younger than I was thinking of; he’s living in Florida with his mother. In fact, it was his mom who brought him to my attention. Well, and to the attention of people with a deep seated interest in poop.
One day Katy Vasquez discovered that the Lord moves in mysterious ways. And goes into mysterious places. Because, You see, one day when she was changing his diaper, she saw this sign that things were going to get better.:
This picture was taken by my donor’s mom, Katy Vasques, and posted to Facebook and the Huffington Post (where I saw it).
It’s Holy Shit! What more could I ask for from a donor?
Filed under 'Merica, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Being an asshole, Childhood Traumas, Chronic Disease, Conspicuous consumption, Crazy family members, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Dreams, Family, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, keys to success, laughter, Mental Health, Oh shit, Out Damn Spot!, Poop, Poop transplants, Science, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, Taking Care of Each Other, Useful thing to do with poop, Why the hell do I tell you these stories?, Wild Beasts, WTF?
Do you ever feel that the stars are lined up against you? That you can’t win in your own life? That God has it in for you?
I have to say, that I have felt that way on more than one occasion. On more than one occasion a day on bad days.
I often feel like I’m between a rock and an electric place
Photo Credit: comandoxtreme.xtgem.com
Some days I know that God is out to get me. But I never really thought there was anything I could do about it. I mean, I’m me, and God, well, God is God. He rules.
Right?
Well maybe not. Because you see, an Israeli man has filed a restraining order against God. True story! Because sometimes, God is abusive. And if God can’t be nice, He needs to keep His distance. At least 300 feet away — that’s the usual distance abusive men must respect.
Photo Caption: Huffington Post
Sigh. I’m going straight to hell for this one.
According to the DailyKos, today Ted Cruz reached a new low in trying to get the GOP nomination.
Perhaps it is only fair, since Donald Trump recently brought up the fact that news* articles have stated that Ted’s seriously crazy dad, Rafael Cruz, was involved in the Kennedy assassination.
So Ted hit back, as Daily Kos says:
Candidate Ted Cruz, making his final appeal to Indiana voters (before his campaign officially goes down in flames), said of Donald Trump:
“… he’s proud to be a serial philanderer. He talks about his battles with venereal disease as his personal Vietnam.”
To his credit, Ted Cruz’s facts are more reliable than Trumps, as Trump did make the comment in a 1997 Ted Stern interview. But still.
I keep thinking there will be a point in the quest for the GOP nomination where I won’t be left speechless by the crassness by the politicians involved.
Filed under 'Merica, 2016, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, Awards, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Being an asshole, Campaigning, Cancer on Society, Conspicuous consumption, Crazy Folks Running, Daily Kos, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Make Me Puke, Donald Trump, Donald Trump is a Pussy Too, Fuckin' Donald Trump, GOP, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, I Can't Get No, Oh shit, Shit Your Pants Scary, Stupidity, Ted Cruz, What a Maroon, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Where does the GOP get these guys?, Wild Beasts, WTF?
I’ve been explaining to Duncan for weeks, that starting today, April 27, 2016, he is a grownup dog. That means no more stealing shoes (always mine), no more stealing socks (usually Jacobs and always dirty), and no more poop eating.
Because today is Duncan’s 2nd Birthday.
Oh GROW UPPPPPPPP, Duncan!
Duncan in Jacob’s Man Cave
So far today, he stole my boot, lunged for a pile of horse poop — Mom was too fast for you today! — and stole a clean sock from the basket as I took a load of laundry out of the dryer. Dogs are gross.
Perhaps I should speak to him in French?
Filed under Adult Traumas, Birthday, Crazy family members, Disgustology, Dogs, Don't Make Me Puke, Duncan, Huh?, Humor, Oh shit, Poop, Shit, Shit happens, Wild Beasts, WTF?
I got TWO!
I recommend Karen Kingsley and Kingsley Ink
The Highest Honor
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FiftyFourandAHalf 