Category Archives: Flatulence
It was a staple of my childhood. In fact these lyrics always pop into my head whenever somebody sings Jingle Bells.
Easter’s on its way …
The clip below was either produced by my childhood best friend, Liz, or other people sang our version, too. I’m guessing the latter.
And it is an early gift to me, and to you.
Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas! Leave the fan on!
You’ve been asking for more poop from me. Be careful what you wish for.
Because today is World Toilet Day!
This morning, I was inspired as shit by my friend Judy when she alerted me to the arrival of World Toilet Day (which I’d somehow forgotten?!?) and to Mr. Toilet himself. And to this article.
Mr. Toilet is my hero. Seriously.
Mr. Toilet was not born with that name. Nope, Mr. Toilet is actually a rich, big-hearted man named Jack Sim who wants to do good in the world with the shitload of money he made in construction. So, being flush with cash, Jack was inspired when he read a statement by his country’s (Singapore) then prime minister:
He said we should measure our graciousness according to the cleanliness of our public toilets.
As a travel lover, let me tell you that nothing, and I do mean nothing, says “welcome” like a clean, accessible toilet. (As a Crohn’s patient, however, I stay home a lot.)
As I said last year on this auspicious occasion,
The point of World Toilet Day is actually pretty important. People without access to hygienic facilities risk illness, many women are preyed upon and attacked as they seek out a place to go. Diseases are transmitted, including infections, cholera, well, here’s a picture.
Mr. Toilet founded the World Toilet Organization (WTO) in 2001. As Judy’s article says:
It’s a nonprofit coalition of leaders from more than 40 countries who try to come up with innovative solutions to tackle the world’s sanitation and water problems.
Together these loo lovers started the World Toilet College and SaniShop, initiatives that train entrepreneurs not only to make household toilets but also to maintain them and market them in the developing world. More than 4,000 people have been trained since 2005; the WTO says that up to 10,000 toilets were assembled in 2010 alone.
But it’s the way Mr. Toilet wants to go about increasing toilets that hit me where I live.
So first you have to make owning a toilet not just rational but aspirational. You have to make a toilet come with bragging rights, like a Louis Vuitton handbag.
Aspiration is important, as you can see even rich people have really nice toilets — they go for the highest level all the time. So this is the same as the poor people. They aspire to own products that have bragging rights, like a cellphone or television. The psychology is exactly the same.
He wants to first make owning and using a toilet funny, then sexy, and then normal. He wants to remove the taboo on poo. He wants people to laugh about, talk about and sing about toilets.
Here. I’ll help.
Who knew that World Toilet Day would lead me to find the theme song for my life.
When you have chronic health problems like I do, there’s always something new to worry about.
- Will this procedure hurt?
- Will this procedure make my life worse?
- Will this procedure kill me?
Until today, though, I never asked myself:
- Will this procedure turn me into a flaming torch?
Butt that is precisely what happened to a woman undergoing surgery in Japan recently. And it happened when she did what all of us fear whenever we have a medical procedure in the southern hemisphere.
Fortunately for her, she was asleep on the operating table.
Unfortunately for her, the gas she passed was ignited by the laser the surgeons were using on her.
According to the article I read,
The fire burned much of her body, including her waist and legs. Her condition is unclear.
The poor woman. I really feel terrible for her. It’s embarrassing enough to break wind when you’re in a humiliating enough position.
Butt now I have something else to worry about the next time I have to have a procedure.