My husband-to-be wanted to have the wedding in October. But I could only get time off work during September. And so John and I got married on September 20. Thirty years ago today.
Our wedding day was blisteringly hot. As we stood on the altar for pictures, I wiped the sweat off my new husband’s face with a paper towel that left little bits of paper all over his face as I laughed. John’s look said it all — we should have done this in October, Lease.
As it turned out, he was wrong. Although we didn’t know it for five more years.
Today we will have two toasts. One for our anniversary. And another for the start of our family.
Because as it turned out, getting married on September 20 was a stroke of luck. It not only started John and I out as a married couple, but as parents as well. Wanna know how?
Fast forward five years, to 1991. John and I had gone through all the steps towards adopting a child — starting the family that we weren’t able to do without paperwork. We were emotionally pretty raw after years of trying, failing, trying medicine, and failing again. It’s hard on both individuals. It’s hard on the marriage. Basically, it just sucks.
But we wanted a family. And after a small amount soul searching, we knew that the DNA didn’t matter so much. John and I loved each other, and we had more love to share with someone smaller and likely cuter. So we decided to adopt.
Just over a week before John’s and my 5th wedding anniversary, we got the call.
“Would you be interested in adopting a baby boy …” the details flowed through the phone to my ears. To my heart. Birth date, weight, apgar scores. Details that I couldn’t absorb.
We hadn’t expected this call to come for another year, based on what our adoption counselor had told us previously. We needed to be patient — our application might take years. We’d only made the first calls to adoption agencies in February.
Of course we wondered why things happened so quickly. The answer was delightful.
Jacob’s birth mother was given information about prospective adoptive parents for her baby. She chose John and I. Because we shared a special day. We were married on her birthday.
So today, on our anniversary, John, Jacob and I will have dinner together to celebrate our marriage, our family, and the birth of the woman who trusted her baby to us. I think she’d be proud of the man he’s become. I know I am.
And I thank our lucky stars that I couldn’t get time off in October.
The Three of Us. John’s behind the camera
I wrote this after reading and commenting on a thoughtful piece by Victo Dolore (aka VD).