Category Archives: Curses!

Hey Doc? What’d Ya Say?

Even an expert patient like me forgets stuff.  Yup, it’s true.  Sorry to disappoint you.

I don’t know about you, but generally, when I go to the doctor, I’m not at my best. Otherwise, I wouldn’t be there.

You see, on bad days things change for me from one minute to the next.  And by “things” I mean my ability to be able to comprehend what I’m reading, what I’m writing ( 😦 ), and especially what I’m hearing.  When I feel awful, I can’t focus on what you’re saying.  And I’m certainly not going to remember it.  I’m not going to write it down, and if I did, I am not going to be able to read what I wrote.  So naturally, I’m not going to do what I just paid half a month’s salary to have a doctor tell me to do.

Most days I am a highly functioning individual.  Smarter than the average bear.  On other days, I’m not.  On those bad days, the bear turns into a sloth and I become a blithering idiot.  Usually diarrhea is involved, and I must say that I often feel like I flush a lot of brain mater.  Luckily, it recycles, but the image is pretty yucky.

Sadly, I’m not the only one.

Sick people as a general rule, sick people are not smart people because they’re sick, feverish, nauseated, dehydrated, cancerous.  People in pain are not smart people.  When you hurt, when you’re weak, when you can no longer lift your head because of the pain, well, it’s hard to listen.

Naturally, that’s when it is most important.

Because that’s when you go to the doctor, when you go to the ER, when you learn what you need to do to feel better.   But you’re sick so you never remember what you’re supposed to do.  Or in what order to do it.  Or for how long to do it.  Or if it goes inside or outside that orifice…

So when I read this article earlier today in the New York Times, I thought — what a great idea!  Record the instructions!

Now why didn’t I think of that?

We all have electronic devices with us at all time.  Use the damn things!  If instructions are recorded,  you can replay the instructions when you forget what you’re supposed to do,  and it’s just like you’re back there in the doctor’s office.  You have a better chance of doing it right.  Just as if you had a personal doctor or nurse right there reminding you just what to do and how to do it.

Some doctors don’t like the idea.  They worry (not unreasonably) about malpractice.  But frankly, compliance with doctor’s instructions is a big problem in patient care.  And this seems to me an excellent recipe for making sure you do what the doctor tells you to do.

Now if I can just figure out how to use the audio on my phone ….

 

27 Comments

Filed under 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Advice from an Expert Patient, Chronic Disease, Curses!, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?

How I’ll Protest the AHCA

It’s all been said already.  The GOP bill, TrumpDoesn’tCare, sucks.  And frankly, I am unable to find the funny in the fact that the current leaders just sold us down the River Styx, on our way to hell.

I feel it personally, deeply.  I honestly fear for the future of myself and everybody like me with a preexisting condition.  Everybody with a chronic condition that requires expensive medicine.  Mine costs $26K every six weeks.  Over the 5 years of the “pool” the GOP added to the AHCA, I’ll use $1 million just by myself.  Because of poop problems.

Folks keep telling me that I’m over-reacting, that this bill will never pass the Senate.  And that’s true.  But I have no faith that the Senate version will be much better, only different.  After all, it is run by the folks who literally stole a supreme court seat.  Does anybody really believe that these guys will do the right thing?

So clearly there is only one response that I have to Donald Trump and the House GOP.

If you hear about somebody doing this at the White House or on Capitol Hill, just pretend you don’t know me.

40 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Assholes, Cancer on Society, Chronic Disease, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Crime and Punishment, Criminal Activity, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Donald Trump, Donald Trump is a Pussy Too, Elections Matter, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Good Deed Doers, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hillary for President, Holy Shit, House of Representatives, How stupid can you be, GOP?, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, Illness, Kakistocracy, Make Resistance Fun, My Right to Protest, Not My President, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Peaceful Protests, Political Corruption, Politician Pussies, Politics, Poop Power, Putin's President, Shit Your Pants Scary, Taking Care of Each Other, Trump is a Putz, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Trumpcare, TrumpDon'tCare, Washington, What a Maroon, What a Putz, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Where does the GOP get these guys?, Wild Beasts, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?


April Fools for normal folks.  A must have product for folks with poo problems.

19 Comments

Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Crime and Punishment, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Disgustology, Farts

Miss Me Yet?

I’m away, without good access to the internet.

But the universe told me you missed me.  Or maybe seeing this picture did:
You’re welcome.

38 Comments

Filed under All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Conspicuous consumption, Curses!, Farts, Flatulence, FLOTUS

There’s a Name For That!

Feeling down in the mouth?  Discouraged?  Hopeless?

You’re not alone.

When I’m suffering with something-or-other, it really helps to know that I’m not alone.  Since November 9, 2016, there’s been a veritable epidemic of misery sweeping the nation.  Relax, though.  Because your misery now has a name, an actual diagnosis:

‘Post-Election Stress Disorder’

We’re all suffering from PESD.  Although frankly, I don’t know why they needed a new diagnosis.  Because if the election of Donald Trump doesn’t represent a traumatic event, I don’t know what does.

The only treatment is action.

 

 

30 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Abortion, Adult Traumas, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Cancer on Society, Climate Change, Clusterfuck, Cowardly Gun Owners, Crazy Folks In Office, Criminal Activity, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Cyber Brownshirts, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Take My Medicare, Donald Trump, Dying Dreams, Elections Matter, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Global Warming, GOP, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Humiliation, Humor, Hypocrisy, I Can't Get No, Incompetent Trump Minions, Jeff Sessions, Kakistocracy, Longing for Dick, Make Resistance Fun, Mental Health, Not My President, Oh shit, Peaceful Protests, Planned Parenthood, Political Corruption, Putin's President, Resistance is not futile, Shit Your Pants Scary, Stupidity, Things that make me nuts, Tom Price, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Washington, What a Maroon, What a Putz, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

Cut It Out, 2017

Dear 2017,

Cut it out — right now.  Just stop being an asshole.  You’re far too young.

We already have to deal with Donald Trump sullying the Oval Office.

We already see our rights, our civil liberties, our healthcare, Medicare, Social Security, all flushed down the toilet.  [No.  I’m not going to illustrate a flushing toilet.  What do you take me for?]

But you’re off to a bad start otherwise, too.

Stop taking people.  Or stop taking good people.You need to take someone?  I have some suggestions.  Call me, 2017, so the U.S. Secret Service doesn’t.

But Mary?  You took Mary?  You left Trump and took Mary?

Jeez, 2017.  Cut. It. Out.

35 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, A Little Restraint, Perhaps, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Donald Trump, Hands off My Medicare, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Just Do It and I'll Shut Up!, Mary Tyler Moore, Missing Folks, Negotiating, Not My President, Oh shit, Passive Aggression, Role Models, Sad News, Shit, Stop!, WTF?

Bravo

We need the press to do more of this:

39 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Clusterfuck, Curses!, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Make Me Puke, Elections Matter, GOP, Gross, Hands off My Medicare, How stupid can you be, GOP?, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Just Do It and I'll Shut Up!, Justice, Kakistocracy, Not My President, Political Corruption, Shit Your Pants Scary, Taking Care of Each Other, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Useful thing to do with poop, WTF?