Category Archives: Curses!

You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?


April Fools for normal folks.  A must have product for folks with poo problems.

19 Comments

Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Crime and Punishment, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Disgustology, Farts

Miss Me Yet?

I’m away, without good access to the internet.

But the universe told me you missed me.  Or maybe seeing this picture did:
You’re welcome.

38 Comments

Filed under All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Conspicuous consumption, Curses!, Farts, Flatulence, FLOTUS

There’s a Name For That!

Feeling down in the mouth?  Discouraged?  Hopeless?

You’re not alone.

When I’m suffering with something-or-other, it really helps to know that I’m not alone.  Since November 9, 2016, there’s been a veritable epidemic of misery sweeping the nation.  Relax, though.  Because your misery now has a name, an actual diagnosis:

‘Post-Election Stress Disorder’

We’re all suffering from PESD.  Although frankly, I don’t know why they needed a new diagnosis.  Because if the election of Donald Trump doesn’t represent a traumatic event, I don’t know what does.

The only treatment is action.

 

 

30 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Abortion, Adult Traumas, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Cancer on Society, Climate Change, Clusterfuck, Cowardly Gun Owners, Crazy Folks In Office, Criminal Activity, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Cyber Brownshirts, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Take My Medicare, Donald Trump, Dying Dreams, Elections Matter, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Global Warming, GOP, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Humiliation, Humor, Hypocrisy, I Can't Get No, Incompetent Trump Minions, Jeff Sessions, Kakistocracy, Longing for Dick, Make Resistance Fun, Mental Health, Not My President, Oh shit, Peaceful Protests, Planned Parenthood, Political Corruption, Putin's President, Resistance is not futile, Shit Your Pants Scary, Stupidity, Things that make me nuts, Tom Price, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Washington, What a Maroon, What a Putz, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

Cut It Out, 2017

Dear 2017,

Cut it out — right now.  Just stop being an asshole.  You’re far too young.

We already have to deal with Donald Trump sullying the Oval Office.

We already see our rights, our civil liberties, our healthcare, Medicare, Social Security, all flushed down the toilet.  [No.  I’m not going to illustrate a flushing toilet.  What do you take me for?]

But you’re off to a bad start otherwise, too.

Stop taking people.  Or stop taking good people.You need to take someone?  I have some suggestions.  Call me, 2017, so the U.S. Secret Service doesn’t.

But Mary?  You took Mary?  You left Trump and took Mary?

Jeez, 2017.  Cut. It. Out.

35 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, A Little Restraint, Perhaps, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Donald Trump, Hands off My Medicare, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Just Do It and I'll Shut Up!, Mary Tyler Moore, Missing Folks, Negotiating, Not My President, Oh shit, Passive Aggression, Role Models, Sad News, Shit, Stop!, WTF?

Bravo

We need the press to do more of this:

39 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Clusterfuck, Curses!, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Make Me Puke, Elections Matter, GOP, Gross, Hands off My Medicare, How stupid can you be, GOP?, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Just Do It and I'll Shut Up!, Justice, Kakistocracy, Not My President, Political Corruption, Shit Your Pants Scary, Taking Care of Each Other, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Useful thing to do with poop, WTF?

Oops. ;/

OK, so I’m quoting Rick Perry here.  I don’t often do that.

But I need to set the record straight.  I made a mistake.  I screwed up.  I led you astray.

Of course you read my last post.  That’s a given.

You did read it, didn’t you?

Well, in that post that you read but forgot, I suggested that during Putin’s President’s inauguration, that you deny Trump TV ratings by tuning your TV to another channel.

Ummmmm.  Well, perhaps I might have done some more checking.  Because I learned that I am wrong. It’s not true.  It’s an urban legend.  It doesn’t pass the snopes test:

http://www.snopes.com/change-channel-on-inauguration/

So apparently we don’t have to worry about where our TVs are tuned during Putin’s President’s moment in the sun.  Errr rain...  That means, of course, that tomorrow we can all Tune Out.

egg-on-my-face

Let’s make stuff stick!  Google image

Thanks to Jana of Stop Me If I Told You This who let me know that I had a Rick Perry moment.  As much as I dislike being wrong, I really appreciate being set straight!

 

 

32 Comments

Filed under Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Baby You Can Drive My Car, Clusterfuck, Cool people, Curses!, Hillary for President, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, Oh shit, Oops!, Shit happens, Taking Care of Each Other, WTF?

For Planning Purposes

Tomorrow will be a day of mourning for many of us, as we head into who knows what is to come.

It is time for the peaceful opposition to start in earnest.

There will be protests and marches to join, petitions to sign, letters to write and calls to make.  We must keep it up.

But here is one of my favorite tactics —

Deny Putin’s President the ratings he so desires!

It’s not enough to not watch the inauguration.

You must actively turn on your TV to something else.*

Me, I plan to turn mine on to Comedy Central, home of oh so many left wing folks.

[You can also set your DVR to another channel, but the way ratings work, you must watch the recording the same day or the ratings are shown for the day you watch, rather than the day you record. ]

Of course, this is not all I plan to do as one member of the Loyal Opposition.  It isn’t all I will suggest/bug/pester you into doing over the years, either.

But it is going to be hard to do anything else on January 20, 2017 through the tears we’ll all be shedding.

***

For those of you planning to attend the Women’s March in Washington, DC on Saturday, January 21, here is some important information for you:

Where to Use the Bathroom, Charge Your Phone, and Warm Up During the Women’s March

***

For those of you who want some ideas of how to help, or need to get some comfort from the fact that there ARE and WILL BE things to do, here’s some ideas.

We’re all gonna be busy.

* Thanks to Karen for the idea.

25 Comments

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