Category Archives: Humiliation

June 4, 2017 · 0:00

Warning. Do not try this at home. Or anywhere else.

Yes, I realize that it’s been a while since I granted you all the benefits of my fake medical expert advice.  Sorry.

It’s just that poop news has been rather crappy lately.  What’s a specialist to do?

So for this post, I’m going to go out on a ledge.  Write what I don’t know.  Venture into a whole ‘nuther area of specialization.  I feel qualified because this area of specialty is in the same, errrr,  ball park.  Geographically speaking.  Certainly based on adolescent conversation, anyway.

You see, I read an article recently that inspired me to post after a pretty long hiatus

Doctors warn women against putting wasp nests in their vaginas

Now I don’t know about you, but this particular insert isn’t one I’ve personally ever considered.  Maybe I’m just weird.

To be fair to the women who have done this mind-bending medical procedure, the procedure does not involve vaginal insertion of a wasp nest that looks like this one, with buzzing wasps going in and out:

Wasp nest.jpg

Image by ABC Wildlife

On the other hand, maybe something buzzing and going in and out is the whole idea behind the procedure.  But I digress.

Actually, the procedure involves ground up wasp eggs called “galls.”

170601-wasp-nest-vagina

This is a Getty Image, copied from the article

These are Oak leaf “galls” in case you want to make your own.

Galls are wasp larvae, left on the bottoms of oak leaves.  They are ground up and inserted into the vagina to tighten it and to cleanse it.  Okay …

As a fake medical expert, I think I  can safely say that this sounds like a particularly shitty idea.

You know, it never occurred to me that there might be a need to warn women to not put wasp nests, even ground up wasp nests, into their vaginas.

Then again, I never thought it would be necessary to tell women to not vote for a man who believed he could grab their vagina because he was famous, either.

My bad.

63 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, A Little Restraint, Perhaps, Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Archeology, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Disgustology, Donald Trump is a Pussy Too, Elections Matter, Fashion, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, I Can't Get No, laughter, Mysteries, Not My President, Oh shit, Oops!, Politician Pussies, Satisfaction, Science, Seriously gross, Seriously weird, Shit Your Pants Scary, Sisters, Wild Beasts, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 28, 2017 · 0:00

I Can Change The World!

It will come as no surprise that I would personally love to save the world.  But like most folks, well, I just couldn’t figure out how.

 

When the Women’s March happened, my hopes dwindled.  How could I save the world and still be within reach of the bathroom?  Ditto all the other spontaneous and planned demonstrations that have taken place since January 21.

But then I learned that Yes. I. Can!  Really!  I can save the world from climate change single-handedly.  Really!  Me!

You can’t though.  Sorry.

You see, I just read this article that says that the city of Portland, Oregon has come up with a terrific way to produce electricity through poop.  And pee.

I can do that.  In fact, I often can’t NOT do that.

It’s true!  They installed toilet turbines to generate power with every flush.

I volunteer to power the East Coast.  Except for the White House and Mara Laga.  Because I don’t give a shit about Trump.

 

38 Comments

Filed under All The News You Need, Assholes, Climate Change, Conspicuous consumption, Crazy Folks In Office, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Global Warming, Health, Holy Shit, Humiliation, Humor, Illness, keys to success, laughter, Mom would die of embarrassment, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Poop, Poop Power, Saving the World, Seriously weird, Shit happens, Sit ins, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Why the hell do I tell you these stories?, WTF?

Tagged as , , , , ,

February 22, 2017 · 0:00

There’s a Name For That!

Feeling down in the mouth?  Discouraged?  Hopeless?

You’re not alone.

When I’m suffering with something-or-other, it really helps to know that I’m not alone.  Since November 9, 2016, there’s been a veritable epidemic of misery sweeping the nation.  Relax, though.  Because your misery now has a name, an actual diagnosis:

‘Post-Election Stress Disorder’

We’re all suffering from PESD.  Although frankly, I don’t know why they needed a new diagnosis.  Because if the election of Donald Trump doesn’t represent a traumatic event, I don’t know what does.

The only treatment is action.

 

 

30 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Abortion, Adult Traumas, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Cancer on Society, Climate Change, Clusterfuck, Cowardly Gun Owners, Crazy Folks In Office, Criminal Activity, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Cyber Brownshirts, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Don't Take My Medicare, Donald Trump, Dying Dreams, Elections Matter, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Global Warming, GOP, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Humiliation, Humor, Hypocrisy, I Can't Get No, Incompetent Trump Minions, Jeff Sessions, Kakistocracy, Longing for Dick, Make Resistance Fun, Mental Health, Not My President, Oh shit, Peaceful Protests, Planned Parenthood, Political Corruption, Putin's President, Resistance is not futile, Shit Your Pants Scary, Stupidity, Things that make me nuts, Tom Price, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Washington, What a Maroon, What a Putz, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

Tagged as , , ,

February 1, 2017 · 0:00

Gigantic Turds

Earlier today, after spending hours trying to digest/swallow Putin’s President’s nominee for the Supreme Court, I tried not to vomit.  That continued as I tried not to go ballistic over the fact that the Senate Finance Committee cheated by changing the rules for reporting nominations out of committee and sent PRICE — nominee who wants to gut Obamacare, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security —  out for an up or down vote on the senate floor.  You see, in the real world — pre-Trump — the Senate had rules.  They followed those rules.  And things worked out OK.

Now?  Not so much.  Things don’t seem to be going quite so well.

So naturally, I thought of poop.  And my friend Nikki/Jordan provided the backup for my concerns.  Sloths.

sloths

So I’m figuring that the Trump Administration is a collection of sloths, all holding in their shit for a week at a time.  And that explains how miserable they are.  Constipation doesn’t make for happy government nominees.

This explains everything.

You’re welcome.

35 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2017, All The News You Need, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Disgustology, Don't Make Me Puke, Elections Matter, GOP, Hillary for President, How stupid can you be, GOP?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, If you can't keep the Australians, Incompetent Trump Minions, Insighting violence, Kakistocracy, Oh shit, Out of the Pot, Political Corruption, Politics, Poop, Putin's President, Shit, Shit happens, Shit Your Pants Scary, Suicide

Tagged as , , ,

January 19, 2017 · 0:00

Oops. ;/

OK, so I’m quoting Rick Perry here.  I don’t often do that.

But I need to set the record straight.  I made a mistake.  I screwed up.  I led you astray.

Of course you read my last post.  That’s a given.

You did read it, didn’t you?

Well, in that post that you read but forgot, I suggested that during Putin’s President’s inauguration, that you deny Trump TV ratings by tuning your TV to another channel.

Ummmmm.  Well, perhaps I might have done some more checking.  Because I learned that I am wrong. It’s not true.  It’s an urban legend.  It doesn’t pass the snopes test:

http://www.snopes.com/change-channel-on-inauguration/

So apparently we don’t have to worry about where our TVs are tuned during Putin’s President’s moment in the sun.  Errr rain...  That means, of course, that tomorrow we can all Tune Out.

egg-on-my-face

Let’s make stuff stick!  Google image

Thanks to Jana of Stop Me If I Told You This who let me know that I had a Rick Perry moment.  As much as I dislike being wrong, I really appreciate being set straight!

 

 

32 Comments

Filed under Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Baby You Can Drive My Car, Clusterfuck, Cool people, Curses!, Hillary for President, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, Oh shit, Oops!, Shit happens, Taking Care of Each Other, WTF?

Tagged as , , ,