Earlier today, after spending hours trying to digest/swallow Putin’s President’s nominee for the Supreme Court, I tried not to vomit. That continued as I tried not to go ballistic over the fact that the Senate Finance Committee cheated by changing the rules for reporting nominations out of committee and sent PRICE — nominee who wants to gut Obamacare, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security — out for an up or down vote on the senate floor. You see, in the real world — pre-Trump — the Senate had rules. They followed those rules. And things worked out OK.
Now? Not so much. Things don’t seem to be going quite so well.
So naturally, I thought of poop. And my friend Nikki/Jordan provided the backup for my concerns. Sloths.
So I’m figuring that the Trump Administration is a collection of sloths, all holding in their shit for a week at a time. And that explains how miserable they are. Constipation doesn’t make for happy government nominees.
This explains everything.
Filed under 'Merica, 2017, All The News You Need, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Disgustology, Don't Make Me Puke, Elections Matter, GOP, Hillary for President, How stupid can you be, GOP?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, If you can't keep the Australians, Incompetent Trump Minions, Insighting violence, Kakistocracy, Oh shit, Out of the Pot, Political Corruption, Politics, Poop, Putin's President, Shit, Shit happens, Shit Your Pants Scary, Suicide
Cut it out — right now. Just stop being an asshole. You’re far too young.
We already have to deal with Donald Trump sullying the Oval Office.
We already see our rights, our civil liberties, our healthcare, Medicare, Social Security, all flushed down the toilet. [No. I’m not going to illustrate a flushing toilet. What do you take me for?]
But you’re off to a bad start otherwise, too.
Stop taking people. Or stop taking good people.You need to take someone? I have some suggestions. Call me, 2017, so the U.S. Secret Service doesn’t.
But Mary? You took Mary? You left Trump and took Mary?
Jeez, 2017. Cut. It. Out.
Filed under 'Merica, 2017, A Little Restraint, Perhaps, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Donald Trump, Hands off My Medicare, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Just Do It and I'll Shut Up!, Mary Tyler Moore, Missing Folks, Negotiating, Not My President, Oh shit, Passive Aggression, Role Models, Sad News, Shit, Stop!, WTF?
It may surprise you to know, but once I dreamed of being an archeologist. It’s true! That was before the Indiana Jones movies, too. It was before I knew I was destined to become a great actress. Oh, and before bowel disease.
Once I developed bowel disease, my dreams changed. Tromping around the desert searching for a toilet and artifacts (in that order) didn’t seem like a great career path. And until today, well, I believed I was right. But I just realized I was wrong. (I was right that I would be wandering the desert looking for a place to poop, though. So I wasn’t completely wrong.)
You see, today’s Washington Post reports that Clifford Coulthard, while looking for a place to go, stumbled onto an absolutely amazing discovery:
“Nature called, and Cliff walked up this creek bed into this gorge and found this amazing spring surrounded by rock art,” archaeologist Giles Hamm told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. “A man getting out of the car to go to the toilet led to the discovery of one of the most important sites in Australian prehistory.”
Profile view of Warratyi Rock Shelter elevated above local stream catchment. (Giles Hamm) as printed in the Washington Post article linked to earlier.
as a friend of mine once said, “Civilization all comes down to where you put your poop.”
Think of the discoveries I could have made over the nearly 45 years I’ve been pooping too much!
Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, Archeology, Conspicuous consumption, Cool people, Crohn's Disease, Health, Huh?, Humor, laughter, Nobody's gonna excavate my poop. I hope., Oh shit, Poop, Science, Shit, Shit happens
What’s scarier than a slasher? Things that go bump in the night? A monster under the bed?
The possibility that these two will live in the White House. At 1600 Pennsylvania Ave., NW, Washington, DC.
There is an answer, though.
Google. Oh and Hillary.
And this is pretty damn important too.
VOTE FOR DEMOCRATS FOR THE HOUSE AND SENATE
Because they’re already planning to oppose anything she tries to do as President.
But since I love you all, I’ll give you a break. You can watch this.
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