It may surprise you to know, but once I dreamed of being an archeologist. It’s true! That was before the Indiana Jones movies, too. It was before I knew I was destined to become a great actress. Oh, and before bowel disease.
Once I developed bowel disease, my dreams changed. Tromping around the desert searching for a toilet and artifacts (in that order) didn’t seem like a great career path. And until today, well, I believed I was right. But I just realized I was wrong. (I was right that I would be wandering the desert looking for a place to poop, though. So I wasn’t completely wrong.)
You see, today’s Washington Post reports that Clifford Coulthard, while looking for a place to go, stumbled onto an absolutely amazing discovery:
“Nature called, and Cliff walked up this creek bed into this gorge and found this amazing spring surrounded by rock art,” archaeologist Giles Hamm told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. “A man getting out of the car to go to the toilet led to the discovery of one of the most important sites in Australian prehistory.”
Profile view of Warratyi Rock Shelter elevated above local stream catchment. (Giles Hamm) as printed in the Washington Post article linked to earlier.
as a friend of mine once said, “Civilization all comes down to where you put your poop.”
Think of the discoveries I could have made over the nearly 45 years I’ve been pooping too much!
Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, Archeology, Conspicuous consumption, Cool people, Crohn's Disease, Health, Huh?, Humor, laughter, Nobody's gonna excavate my poop. I hope., Oh shit, Poop, Science, Shit, Shit happens
When you have chronic health problems like I do, there’s always something new to worry about.
- Will this procedure hurt?
- Will this procedure make my life worse?
- Will this procedure kill me?
Photo Credit 4029TV.com
Until today, though, I never asked myself:
- Will this procedure turn me into a flaming torch?
Butt that is precisely what happened to a woman undergoing surgery in Japan recently. And it happened when she did what all of us fear whenever we have a medical procedure in the southern hemisphere.
Fortunately for her, she was asleep on the operating table.
Unfortunately for her, the gas she passed was ignited by the laser the surgeons were using on her.
According to the article I read,
The fire burned much of her body, including her waist and legs. Her condition is unclear.
The poor woman. I really feel terrible for her. It’s embarrassing enough to break wind when you’re in a humiliating enough position.
Butt now I have something else to worry about the next time I have to have a procedure.
I swear, my life is the butt of one joke after another. And because it’s me, I do mean BUTT.
This morning over breakfast I read the news that researchers have just discovered another likely suspect for my Crohn’s Disease. Whoo-Hoo! I couldn’t wait to learn more about my future cure!
Screen shot of the article in Newswise.
I was in my element. I am, after all, a fake medical expert AND a real expert patient. I quickly read the article and learned that researchers had found a fairly common fungus that was likely to be in my gut — a fungus amungus, as my Dad would have said. Candida tropicalis could be the culprit. And once you know the culprit ….
Naturally, my next step was to look up candida tropicalis to see what medicines I can take to get rid of it. But this is my life. And it is me.
And so I learned that the fungicides that are use to combat candida tropicalis are assholes.
Or really “azoles” — a specific class of anti-fungal drug.
Wikipedia image of one azole, Thiazol. Exactly what does it look like is happening here?????!!!!
Is it just me or does this seem like another poop joke on me???? After all, an azole by any other name ….
Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Being an asshole, Chronic Disease, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Drugs, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, laughter, Mental Health, Oh shit, Out of the Pot, Poop, Shit, Shit happens, Toilets, WTF?