It may surprise you to know, but once I dreamed of being an archeologist. It’s true! That was before the Indiana Jones movies, too. It was before I knew I was destined to become a great actress. Oh, and before bowel disease.
Once I developed bowel disease, my dreams changed. Tromping around the desert searching for a toilet and artifacts (in that order) didn’t seem like a great career path. And until today, well, I believed I was right. But I just realized I was wrong. (I was right that I would be wandering the desert looking for a place to poop, though. So I wasn’t completely wrong.)
You see, today’s Washington Post reports that Clifford Coulthard, while looking for a place to go, stumbled onto an absolutely amazing discovery:
“Nature called, and Cliff walked up this creek bed into this gorge and found this amazing spring surrounded by rock art,” archaeologist Giles Hamm told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. “A man getting out of the car to go to the toilet led to the discovery of one of the most important sites in Australian prehistory.”
Profile view of Warratyi Rock Shelter elevated above local stream catchment. (Giles Hamm) as printed in the Washington Post article linked to earlier.
as a friend of mine once said, “Civilization all comes down to where you put your poop.”
Think of the discoveries I could have made over the nearly 45 years I’ve been pooping too much!
As if we needed reminders. As if you couldn’t imagine this sort of thing happen. In case you need to show the difference in the two parties.
Show ’em this.
J.J. Holmes has severe cerebral palsy. He is 12 and is confined to a wheel chair.
On Saturday, his mother took him to a Trump rally, where he wanted to protest Trump’s treatment of folks with disabilities. So they raised a Hillary placard. And they were thrown out.
According to one report I read:
This is truly disturbing to me … What I witnessed while covering a Trump rally today. Wheelchair-bound JJ Holmes, 12, who has cerebral palsy, and his family were ordered out of Saturday’s Trump rally by Trump after they chanted for Hillary Clinton. JJ begged his mom, Alison, to travel over two hours so he could attend. JJ begged his mom, Alison, to travel over two hours so he could attend. Unable to speak, JJ communicates through a special device similar to Stephen Hawkings. JJ is passionate about politics and concerned about the future of all humans but especially those with disabilites. Alison said the family was kicked by Trump supporters and had to shield JJ’s wheelchair as Trump supporters gathered to push JJ’s wheelchair out of their space. Alison was called a child abuser and a murderer. This is just so, so sad! Tears are burning my eyeballs but then I look at JJ smiling afterwards when he asked his mom if she is proud of him.
Trump himself ordered the boy and his mother to be thrown out of the rally. His deplorable supporters taunted them on the way out. Taunting a disabled child? The lowest of the low.
That’s not exactly how the Democrats acted.
Instead, J.J. and his family got to meet President Obama.
Attribution: Valentina Pereda on Facebook (via Daily kos)
Since Hillary started her advocacy working to get disabled students admitted to school, I’m pretty sure s he’s good with Obama supporting her on this one.
Trump’s supporters were kicking at JJ’s wheelchair. What sort of people do that?
Oh yeah. Deplorable ones.
Don’t be confused by the second half of my title. I don’t think that Hillary IS chicken. Nope, not a bit.
But she DOES makes a fine chicken dish that made it into the 1987 Congressional Club Cookbook, which has recipes from all sorts of congress members, their spouses, governors and their spouses. Both Bill and Hillary have recipes in it, befitting the first power couple — both cook.
I Took This Picture! It’s MY Cookbook!
That’s my proof. And my picture.
It’s quick, easy and perfect for a weeknight meal.
This time, I may have it with champagne.
I’m really looking forward to writing about non-campaign related shit!
Because on Election Day, November 8, 2016, I will be in an undisclosed polling booth, watching. And I’ve even been trained for this nefarious activity. In fact, I’m one of the folks Donald Trump is so concerned will “rig” the election.
It’s true. A coordinated effort has been made by the Democratic Party. You see, on Saturday, I went to a class where my fellow instigators and I learned what to do. And “fixing” an election is as easy as taking candy from a baby.
What did we learn?
Well, you may have to cover your ears/eyes/heart. Because it is evil unbridled.
Study the Virginia voting regulations. They include information on acceptable forms of ID, what to do if a voter’s name on ID doesn’t match the one on the roll (if a woman got married, for instance, or if there is a slight misspelling), or the voter has moved, etc. The regs say what is legal and what is not.
Arrive at undisclosed polling precinct obscenely early (5-f’ing:15).
Bring baked goods.
Observe the non-partisans set up the voting machines.
Check that all voting machines register “0” prior to the doors opening to voters at 6.
Share baked goods.
Watch as they open the doors promptly at 6.
Monitor that voters are not hindered from voting.
Assist the election official (the “Chief”) in instances where the voter has a problem — incorrect ID, came to the wrong precinct, not registered, name or address doesn’t match the voter list. We learned how to ensure that the Chief follows the regulations. As legal folks, we understand how to read the regs.
When appropriate, let the Chief and/or voter know what alternate IDs are valid.
If necessary and there is no legitimate way for the voter to cast a regular vote, have him/her cast a provisional ballot.
Make sure nobody who has cast an absentee ballot votes again.
Monitor the length of the line, let Dem HQ know if there are problems.
Ensure the voting machines are working. Let Dem HQ know if there are problems.
Enjoy baked goods, lunch, coffee and bathroom breaks when possible.
Nefarious, no? Downright wicked. The evil continues all day until the polls close at 7 p.m. Then comes the fun stuff.
Make sure that anyone in line at closing time is allowed to vote. That’s the rule.
Ensure that the officials close and lock the door once everybody in line has voted.
Verify that the number of voters who checked in = the number of votes cast (adjust for provisional ballots cast, naturally).
Ensure that the Chief contacts the Secretary of State and reports the correct number of ballots cast for each candidate and the tally for any ballot initiatives voted on. Presidential. Congressional, local, ballot initiatives.
Collect personal items.
Try to stay awake long enough to learn who won the election.
My badge from last time with my friend, Rigger.
I should tell you that when I did this in 2012, there was one incident. I’m sure you’ll agree it was obviously voter fraud.
An 86 year old woman came in to vote, but had already voted absentee. She forgot she’d voted already. She had trouble walking and had been dropped off at the voting station by her daughter. “Oh, I guess you’re right,” she said when told she had voted already. “I forget things sometimes.” I called her daughter for her on my cell phone, and the woman and I chatted as she waited, eating baked goods.
There are poll observers from both parties at many polling stations across the country. It is one of the ways that our system ensures the integrity of the vote. As a man I respect and admire said earlier today:
Speaking at a Rose Garden news conference with Matteo Renzi, the Italian prime minister, Mr. Obama also called it “unprecedented” for any presidential candidate to “discredit the elections” before any votes were even cast, as Mr. Trump has done repeatedly in recent days.
“One of the great things about America’s democracy is we have a vigorous, sometimes bitter political contest, and when it’s done, historically, regardless of party, the person who loses the election congratulates the winner, reaffirms our democracy and we move forward,” Mr. Obama said.
Speaking of the tradition of a peaceful transfer of power after presidential elections, Mr. Obama said, “That’s how democracy survives.”
“I have never seen in my lifetime or in modern political history, any presidential candidate trying to discredit the elections and the election process before votes have even taken place,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s unprecedented. It happens to be based on no facts.”
Vote on November 8
Make sure you know where to vote and have appropriate ID in states where ID is required.