It will come as no surprise that I would personally love to save the world. But like most folks, well, I just couldn’t figure out how.
When the Women’s March happened, my hopes dwindled. How could I save the world and still be within reach of the bathroom? Ditto all the other spontaneous and planned demonstrations that have taken place since January 21.
But then I learned that Yes. I. Can! Really! I can save the world from climate change single-handedly. Really! Me!
You can’t though. Sorry.
You see, I just read this article that says that the city of Portland, Oregon has come up with a terrific way to produce electricity through poop. And pee.
I can do that. In fact, I often can’t NOT do that.
It’s true! They installed toilet turbines to generate power with every flush.
I volunteer to power the East Coast. Except for the White House and Mara Laga. Because I don’t give a shit about Trump.
Filed under All The News You Need, Assholes, Climate Change, Conspicuous consumption, Crazy Folks In Office, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Global Warming, Health, Holy Shit, Humiliation, Humor, Illness, keys to success, laughter, Mom would die of embarrassment, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Poop, Poop Power, Saving the World, Seriously weird, Shit happens, Sit ins, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Why the hell do I tell you these stories?, WTF?
Earlier today, after spending hours trying to digest/swallow Putin’s President’s nominee for the Supreme Court, I tried not to vomit. That continued as I tried not to go ballistic over the fact that the Senate Finance Committee cheated by changing the rules for reporting nominations out of committee and sent PRICE — nominee who wants to gut Obamacare, Medicare, Medicaid and Social Security — out for an up or down vote on the senate floor. You see, in the real world — pre-Trump — the Senate had rules. They followed those rules. And things worked out OK.
Now? Not so much. Things don’t seem to be going quite so well.
So naturally, I thought of poop. And my friend Nikki/Jordan provided the backup for my concerns. Sloths.
So I’m figuring that the Trump Administration is a collection of sloths, all holding in their shit for a week at a time. And that explains how miserable they are. Constipation doesn’t make for happy government nominees.
This explains everything.
Filed under 'Merica, 2017, All The News You Need, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Disgustology, Don't Make Me Puke, Elections Matter, GOP, Hillary for President, How stupid can you be, GOP?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, If you can't keep the Australians, Incompetent Trump Minions, Insighting violence, Kakistocracy, Oh shit, Out of the Pot, Political Corruption, Politics, Poop, Putin's President, Shit, Shit happens, Shit Your Pants Scary, Suicide
OK, so I’m quoting Rick Perry here. I don’t often do that.
But I need to set the record straight. I made a mistake. I screwed up. I led you astray.
Of course you read my last post. That’s a given.
You did read it, didn’t you?
Well, in that post that you read but forgot, I suggested that during Putin’s President’s inauguration, that you deny Trump TV ratings by tuning your TV to another channel.
Ummmmm. Well, perhaps I might have done some more checking. Because I learned that I am wrong. It’s not true. It’s an urban legend. It doesn’t pass the snopes test:
So apparently we don’t have to worry about where our TVs are tuned during Putin’s President’s moment in the sun. Errr rain... That means, of course, that tomorrow we can all Tune Out.
Let’s make stuff stick! Google image
Thanks to Jana of Stop Me If I Told You This who let me know that I had a Rick Perry moment. As much as I dislike being wrong, I really appreciate being set straight!
Filed under Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Baby You Can Drive My Car, Clusterfuck, Cool people, Curses!, Hillary for President, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, Oh shit, Oops!, Shit happens, Taking Care of Each Other, WTF?