Surprisingly, even here in polarized Northern Virginia where I live, there are still folks who haven’t made up their minds.
I’m doing all I can to help. I’m making calls, I’ve donated money. I fill out Donald Trumps surveys suggesting that he call Hillary “fat” and ask his followers why she isn’t home in the kitchen.
But the best tool I’ve found is this one:
People are asking me who I voted for. And they really want to know. And I don’t hesitate to let them know why I voted for Hillary.
To the guys in the gas station and the convenience store, I emphasized Hillary’s commitment to raising the minimum wage and the fact that the billionaire has never done anything except cheat working people out of the money they earned.
To the folks in the medical lab, I referred to Hillary’s commitment to science, to healthcare for everybody. Since they have such long working hours, I looked up where they too could vote early and encouraged them to do so.
To the affluent-looking folks in the grocery store, I emphasized the way the market react by falling through the floor whenever there is a hint that Trump is gaining. “Do you want his finger on the nuclear button — we live at Ground Zero — DC (and Northern Virginia) lives under one big target …
Wear your sticker. Talk it up. Don’t pick fights. Use humor however you can.
But everybody with an ounce of sense can help make sure that Wednesday is not the beginning of a long, terrible nightmare.
Look into the eyes of a terrorist. A threat to your safety and mine. Something should be done about her. Ammirite?
Macie. Photo from owner Susan R. Smith, courtesy of the Loudoun Times.
Oh wait! Something was done about her! I feel safer already.
Virginia, where I live, is an “Open Carry” state. Where folks can pack their pistols and take them with them no matter where they go.
To the grocery store (always a terrifying experience — what if they bruise my apples?).
To a bar (because, really, what could possibly go wrong?)
When taking a leisurely stroll in the park.
Maybe your state is among them! Wouldn’t that be great?
Photo from the Law Center to Prevent Gun Violence, courtesy of the Wall Street Journal. And Google, natch.
Now what connection could that picture and that map possibly have?
Well, guess what happened on Tuesday? Just guess.
Macie, an 11 month old lab mix was running in a park on a beautiful day. Her crimes were many. Serious.
She was off the leash
She was friendly
She did not respond immediately to her owners call
So naturally she deserved to be shot. Oh, and killed.
I guess I should back up a bit.
Macie was running off-leash in a park where she wasn’t supposed to be off-leash but where everybody lets their dog run off leash.
Smith said her dog approached the couple and jumped in the air. She said the dog was leaping behind the man but was not barking at the time.
At that point, the man yelled out, “Call your dog,” Smith said. “He said it once, maybe twice.”
Smith said she and her friend then started running toward the dogs, who were about 20 yards away.
“We called for our dogs,” Smith said. Then she said she saw the man’s arm “go to his side” and across his body. “He sees us coming,” she said. The man pulled out a gun and fired it at the dog.
The man faces no charges. He was legally carrying a gun and reportedly “fired in self-defense.” But really, there was no threat. The owner was coming for the dog. She was a fucking puppy saying hello.
This story has me pretty upset. Because I walk Duncan not too far from the scene of Marcie’s killing. Duncan is often off-leash, too. Because it is a beautiful place to let him run. There aren’t many places where off-leash is permitted around here. Those places that exist are small fenced in dog parks that reek of pee.
Duncan is quite good at coming when I call him — he always gets a treat. But he’s friendly, and I have to (and do) restrain him when I see an unfamiliar walker or jogger coming towards him. He loves to say hello.
Duncan and I walk here most days. Not far from where Macie died.
To me, this man is a perfect example of exactly the problem with folks carrying around guns. They use them. Stupidly. And without consequence.
Common sense and restraint don’t enter into the picture.
We need to do something about our society where folks feel the need to carry a gun, and feel entitled to use it.
So you thought I was a more or less law abiding citizen, except for when I bribe French government officials. In fact, reality is far worse.
Because on Election Day, November 8, 2016, I will be in an undisclosed polling booth, watching. And I’ve even been trained for this nefarious activity. In fact, I’m one of the folks Donald Trump is so concerned will “rig” the election.
It’s true. A coordinated effort has been made by the Democratic Party. You see, on Saturday, I went to a class where my fellow instigators and I learned what to do. And “fixing” an election is as easy as taking candy from a baby.
What did we learn?
Well, you may have to cover your ears/eyes/heart. Because it is evil unbridled.
Study the Virginia voting regulations. They include information on acceptable forms of ID, what to do if a voter’s name on ID doesn’t match the one on the roll (if a woman got married, for instance, or if there is a slight misspelling), or the voter has moved, etc. The regs say what is legal and what is not.
Arrive at undisclosed polling precinct obscenely early (5-f’ing:15).
Bring baked goods.
Observe the non-partisans set up the voting machines.
Check that all voting machines register “0” prior to the doors opening to voters at 6.
Share baked goods.
Watch as they open the doors promptly at 6.
Monitor that voters are not hindered from voting.
Assist the election official (the “Chief”) in instances where the voter has a problem — incorrect ID, came to the wrong precinct, not registered, name or address doesn’t match the voter list. We learned how to ensure that the Chief follows the regulations. As legal folks, we understand how to read the regs.
When appropriate, let the Chief and/or voter know what alternate IDs are valid.
If necessary and there is no legitimate way for the voter to cast a regular vote, have him/her cast a provisional ballot.
Make sure nobody who has cast an absentee ballot votes again.
Monitor the length of the line, let Dem HQ know if there are problems.
Ensure the voting machines are working. Let Dem HQ know if there are problems.
Enjoy baked goods, lunch, coffee and bathroom breaks when possible.
Repeat.
Nefarious, no? Downright wicked. The evil continues all day until the polls close at 7 p.m. Then comes the fun stuff.
Make sure that anyone in line at closing time is allowed to vote. That’s the rule.
Ensure that the officials close and lock the door once everybody in line has voted.
Verify that the number of voters who checked in = the number of votes cast (adjust for provisional ballots cast, naturally).
Ensure that the Chief contacts the Secretary of State and reports the correct number of ballots cast for each candidate and the tally for any ballot initiatives voted on. Presidential. Congressional, local, ballot initiatives.
Collect personal items.
Go home.
Try to stay awake long enough to learn who won the election.
My badge from last time with my friend, Rigger.
I should tell you that when I did this in 2012, there was one incident. I’m sure you’ll agree it was obviously voter fraud.
An 86 year old woman came in to vote, but had already voted absentee. She forgot she’d voted already. She had trouble walking and had been dropped off at the voting station by her daughter. “Oh, I guess you’re right,” she said when told she had voted already. “I forget things sometimes.” I called her daughter for her on my cell phone, and the woman and I chatted as she waited, eating baked goods.
*****
There are poll observers from both parties at many polling stations across the country. It is one of the ways that our system ensures the integrity of the vote. As a man I respect and admire said earlier today:
WASHINGTON — President Obama said Tuesday that Donald J. Trump should “stop whining and go try to make his case to get votes.”
Speaking at a Rose Garden news conference with Matteo Renzi, the Italian prime minister, Mr. Obama also called it “unprecedented” for any presidential candidate to “discredit the elections” before any votes were even cast, as Mr. Trump has done repeatedly in recent days.
“One of the great things about America’s democracy is we have a vigorous, sometimes bitter political contest, and when it’s done, historically, regardless of party, the person who loses the election congratulates the winner, reaffirms our democracy and we move forward,” Mr. Obama said.
Speaking of the tradition of a peaceful transfer of power after presidential elections, Mr. Obama said, “That’s how democracy survives.”
“I have never seen in my lifetime or in modern political history, any presidential candidate trying to discredit the elections and the election process before votes have even taken place,” Mr. Obama said. “It’s unprecedented. It happens to be based on no facts.”
Elections Matter.
Vote on November 8
Make sure you know where to vote and have appropriate ID in states where ID is required.
FiftyFourandAHalf 