Then I opened up my computer, where I found a petition:
Sign on to TELL DONALD TRUMP NOT TO PREACH HATE!
Yup. That’ll work. That petition — that’ll stop The Donald.
Donald Trump, the Aryan Candidate. The man who is inciting mob violence. The man who knows exactly what he is doing when he talks about protesters. He is intentionally inciting violence.
And the Republican Party is going to nominate him for President.
The National Rifle Association is concerned about your safety and well being.
It’s true — really! I just read all about it! Forget all that other stuff that I’ve said about the NRA since you’ve known me. My bad.
In recent years, they’ve become terribly concerned about injuries from gun shots. Or, let me hit this target here closer to the bulls-eye: they are concerned about injuries from shooting guns.
Injuries to the shooter. They still don’t give a shit about the jerk who got in the way of the bullet.
But they’re really worried about the eardrums of the guys and gals pulling the trigger. Because:
Heck! Those things are LOUD! (Google Image)
So the NRA wants to enact legislation to allow silencers to be used on guns. They were outlawed in the 1930s because of mob violence. The NRA calls them”suppressors.”
Know why they want them? To protect the ears of “gun enthusiasts.” Because we wouldn’t want the gun enthusiasts’ ears to ring now, would we. How would they listen to Rush Limbaugh?
I’m sure the NRA is also working on products and legislation to suppress the screams of victims of gun violence, too. Because we wouldn’t want the ears of them 2nd Amendment types ringing from that, now, would we?
Comedy and life works in threes. Today was no exception.
Or maybe it’s just a weird day.
You see, every morning I check reports on the status of the DC area’s Metro system. I don’t take Metro — it doesn’t go anywhere near where I live. But for some reason, I get notice of Metro problems hours before everyone else. So I pass them on to my friends and colleagues so they know whether or not to drink that coffee.
So I know from my personal observational study that the DC Metro is a mess. My friends are frequently stranded, late to work because of one delay after another. Forced to Uber to the office when the system lets them down.
Next, I learned that President Obama is considering a surprise guy to replace Antonin Scalia on the US Supreme Court — GOP Nevada Governor and gun-control opponent, Brian Sandoval, a “centrist” former federal judge. I am hoping that this was a ploy to force the Senate Obstructionists to stamp their feet and make it clear (OK, more clear) that the GOP is holding their breath until they turn blue.
That background should be red, don’t cha think? Google Image. Or perhaps Smirf
A pouty Smurf. I couldn’t decide which one was more GOP-like. Although I seriously doubt the GOP wears the white hat… Google Image. Because how much time do you think I have for these posts?
I drove home through a nasty storm — and wanted nothing more than to watch last night’s Stephen Colbert show.
Where a fun band played. But I was confused.
First of all, the group’s name is the “Violent Femmes” — and the band members were three men. I was confused — and it wasn’t just that my French sucks. Because “Femmes” means women. Really. It’s one of the three french words that I’m certain of.
But the weirdest part was that they had rather unusual percussion.
FiftyFourandAHalf 