Every year at this time, I write about my New Years’ tradition. It’s a good one in that it is free and guaranteed to bring you good luck or your money back.
Normally I also post it after I am pretty sure folks have consumed enough to not be concerned about the guarantee. This year, I’m doing it early.
OK. Here it is:
At the stroke of midnight,
OPEN the back door
and force OUT all the BAD LUCK;
Of course, it’ll be dark. And not this house. Google Image
THEN
OPEN the Front Door
This one’s not mine, either. It’s Google’s too.
AND LET IN THE GOOD LUCK
It doesn’t matter where you are, you can do it there. Or you can wait and do it when you get home. It’s just important to get the bad luck out and the good luck in.
This year, because, well, because 2016 has sucked BIG TIME, I recommend holding open the back door a good long time to be sure to clear out all the 2016 bad luck. Obviously, we closed the doors too soon last year.
Sorry guys. I’ve let you down. I know that you rely on me for news. And I failed you.
I haven’t written a single word about the GOP candidate kerfluffle on the debate and all those mean questions that the CNBC moderators asked.
So I thought I’d leave it to my spokesman to make my comments for me:
I mean, what more could I offer? What more can be said about these clowns and their “‘First Percent’ Running For Prez” problems? Not much.
Frankly even I, a political junkie, am getting sick of it all.
So I’ve been trying to figure out just what we can do to get a little bit of relief from it all, without, well, getting too much relief from it all. And I have a few ideas:
We could restrict GOP access to one channel (Fox would do nicely). Who wouldn’t want to listen to this:
We could gamble on the odds of the various GOP contenders getting the nomination (there’s actually a website that does this: http://www.sportsbettingdime.com/news/presidential-election-super-serious-odds-and-props/. Me, I’m planning on making a mint by betting on Scott Walker becoming the 45th President of These United States. Nobody else will think to bet on him! I will clean up!
Or we could eliminate all news of the GOP and fill the airtime with additional CSI series in different American cities! Because, really, you just can’t have too many gun-drug-sex related crime shows set in America’s cities, now can we?
I must confess, I’m leaning towards the last one. Because I have just the city for the show! A city that combines crime with a Democratic Tradition!
Image Wikimedia
The Park City — Bridgeport, Connecticut!
Wait, wait! Don’t go. I’m not done! And I have good reason to suggest this location!
You see, I, personally, was born in Bridgeport– as were all of my family members whom you’ve come to know and love. The fact that we moved away really has no bearing on the issue of whether a good crime drama could be situated in Bpt.
Equally important, one of my relatives once served as Mayor of this fine city. I never met this cousin 238 times removed. But still, blood is blood and that’s important in any crime drama.
Lastly, on Tuesday, the City of Bridgeport — my home town — elected an ex-convict Mayor.
Voters in Bridgeport, Connecticut elected as their next mayor an ex-convict who spent seven years in federal prison after being convicted on 16 corruption charges.
Democrat Joe Ganim, 56, had served as mayor of Bridgeport – the state’s largest city – 12 years ago, from 1991 to 2003, when he resigned after being convicted of accepting hundreds of thousands of dollars from individuals and companies in exchange for sending city contracts in their direction, the New York Timesreports.
Since he was released from prison five years ago, Ganim has worked as a legal assistant at his family’s law firm in Bridgeport, though he has not been able to have his law license restored.
Now tell me, which would you choose? To watch the GOP or to watch a colorful Democrat?
When I look at today’s GOP, I just don’t understand why they are so fired up at tearing down stuff that helps people.
I mean look at them. They want to gut programs that have helped millions:
Social Security (Happy 80th, BTW! Here’s to 100 and more!)
Medicare
Voting Rights
Immigration
.
Have you heard the latest? Donald Trump proclaimed that the 14th Amendment — the one that grants citizenship to anyone born in the United States — is unconstitutional.
That Furball, The Donald, wants to pretend that rights that are in the Constitution are, well, unconstitutional. And the rest of the clowns are falling all over themselves to agree with him!
Ummmmm, do they even have a clue that “Constitutional” means,well, in the fucking Constitution?
Apparently not. Because, you see, these folks just can’t get no … <i?they can’t get no. No no no…</i>
FiftyFourandAHalf 