Another reason to vote for Hillary. The Children’s Health Insurance Program.
Here, you’ll need this.
Societies are judged by what they do for their most vulnerable.
My thanks to Crooks and Liars.com who showed me this video.
Category Archives: Not something you hear about every day
“A Way Out of No Way”
Breaking news that you may or may not see on the news.
The Democrats, led by Congressman John Lewis, are staging a sit in on the floor of the House of Representatives, demanding action on gun control legislation.
Sometimes old methods work best. Photo from CNN.com
Sometimes you have to do something out of the ordinary. Sometimes you have to make a way out of no way. We have been too quiet for too long,” the Democratic civil rights leader said. “There comes a time when you have to say something, when you have to make a little noise, when you have to move your feet. This is the time. Now is the time to get in the way. The time to act is now. We will be silent no more. (CNN.com)
In case you don’t know who Congressman Lewis is, here’s how Wikipedia opens his biography:
Lewis is the only living “Big Six” leader of the Civil Rights Movement, having been the chairman of the Student Nonviolent Coordinating Committee (SNCC), playing a key role in the struggle to end legalized racial discrimination and segregation. A member of the Democratic Party, Lewis is a member of the Democratic leadership of the U.S. House of Representatives and has served as a Chief Deputy Whip since 1991 and Senior Chief Deputy Whip since 2003. As Senior Chief Deputy Whip he has led other Chief Deputy Whips and serves as the primary assistant to the Democratic Whip.
This 76 year old man is sitting on the floor to force the House of Representatives to take some action. There are chants of “No Bill, No Break” referring to the upcoming Congressional adjournment/recess, which is extra long this year allowing members to go to their party conventions. Or, in the case of the GOP, not going to their party conventions.
The cameras that normally broadcast House action are off; they are controlled by House Speaker Paul Ryan who, naturally, won’t let it appear that either (1) he has lost control of what is happening on the floor of the House; or (2) that Democrats are trying to protect the lives of American citizens.
All I can say is: We Shall Overcome.
Filed under 'Merica, 2016, 2nd Amendment, All The News You Need, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Beating that Dead Horse, Conspicuous consumption, Crazy Folks Running, Disgustology, Gun control, Health, House of Representatives, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, John Lewis, Justice, Not something you hear about every day, Peaceful Protests, Politics, Satisfaction, Sit ins, Taking Care of Each Other, Washington, What must folks in other countries be thinking?
Eat Your Heart Out, Lip-O-suction!
Like many Americans, I’m overweight. Mostly I’ve accepted what I look like. At least I do until someone pulls out a camera. Then I use my handy line:
“Do I have time for liposuction?”
Sadly, there’s never enough time for liposuction; they usually take the picture anyway. And when I see it I wish someone would suck away the extra bits and bobs.
Few things make me laugh harder than the idea of liposuction. I first learned of it in 1986. I was in the reception area of one of my then-clients, chatting with his secretary, Cindy, a constant dieter, when she announced:
“Did you know you can vacuum your fat away?” Cindy told me. “It’s a thing called Lip-O-Suction. They stick this little gizmo in your fat lumps and vacuum the fat out!”
“Why diet when you can vacuum!” I replied. Me and Cindy laughed and laughed. You just can’t tell me it isn’t a hilarious image: Women lining up in front of the Hoover before a date.
Eureka! Or is it Hoover? Sllluuuppppppp Google Image
Now, though, there is a weight loss gadget that makes even liposuction pale in silliness. Because folks have been busily inventing even sillier ways to get folks thin. Or thinner. Or, to totally disrupt their GI tract.
Introducing The Aspire Assist. A personal stomach pump. Yeah, I thought they were making it up, too.
Photo credit: Aspirebariatrics.com. But I found it at the article referenced below
The Aspire Assist helps with weight loss because it empties up to 30% of the contents of your stomach into the toilet. Before it reaches the inside or the outside of your butt. Before that cherry pie becomes love handles. Before those abs look more like a case than a six-pack.
According to this article here’s how it works.
Patients have a tube inserted into their stomachs then threaded out through an incision in the abdomen and capped with a poker chip–sized “Skin Port” valve.[…] Twenty minutes after eating breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the patient attaches a handheld device to the Skin Port and empties 30 percent of the contents of his or her stomach into the toilet.
Twenty minutes is enough time for your brain to be convinced that you are full, but not enough time for your stomach to digest the food, the inventors say, and that means 30 percent of the calories from your meal magically disappear.
Sounds too good to be true, ammirite? You can have all the benefits of bulimia without puking! Whoo-hoo!
Of course, as a fake medical professional, I have questions:
- Can the Aspire Assist discriminate? I mean, can it choose to pull the ice cream out and leave the broccoli to work its way through my GI tract system?
- Can it pull the pasta but leave the protein and the vitamins?
- Can it please suck out the wine I drink so that I can be less of a cheap date?
Go ahead. I dare you to watch this. (I didn’t. Ewwwwww.)
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WfBE_DIR2Jo
I bet you didn’t play that video. I’ll also wager you’re not gonna get an Aspire Assist. anybody who has read this far is of above-average intelligence and has a seriously awesome sense of humor.
Some funny things should be enjoyed but definitely not be taken to heart. Or to stomach. Or drained into the toilet.
And some are just too weird to believe.
Filed under 'Merica, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Conspicuous consumption, Disgustology, Don't Make Me Puke, Drastic weight loss methods, Gizmos, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, I Can't Get No, Not something you hear about every day, Not stealing, Oh shit, Seriously funny, Seriously gross, Seriously weird, Size Matters, Surgery, Taking Care of Each Other, Things that make me nuts, Toilets, WTF?
You See, I DO Appreciate Art and Shit! 💩
With an artist brother and a sister-in-law, you’d think I’d be more involved in the art world. Sadly, I’m not.
I used to be more of a gallery girl, loved nothing more than spending time in any one of the wonderful museums and galleries near where I lived or worked. And the galleries I got to visit while living in or traveling to Europe could fill a book. Still, going to a museum with either Fred or my sister-in-law, with someone who knows a lot about art, well, it is a wonderful treat.
But with my Crohn’s disease as active as it is these days, I don’t go very often.
For anybody without access to art, though, I recommend following my blogging buddy Mark, of Exile on Pain Street . He works in NYC and frequents museums, galleries and auctions and frequently writes about it on his blog. Mark does it with wit and without the snobbishness that usually accompanies folks who talk about art.
But nobody posts about art quite like I do. Or about art theft, because that’s really what this post is all about. Art theft pure and simple.
Audrey Hepburn and Peter O’Toole in How to Steal A Million (Google Image)
The international art heist I’m talking about occurred in Spain, just outside Madrid. I’m pretty sure it involved neither Audrey nor Peter. Nor, probably, would the stolen object ever find its way into the Louvre.
Still, if you know anything about art, the beauty of an object is all in the eye of the beholder. It may also be dependent on the species. Or on the leash holder.
Torrelodones, a town near Madrid, paid 2,400 euros ($2,726; £1,885) for this sculpture:
Yes, it is a giant, inflatable pile of dog poo. Photo from BBC (although they might deny it)
The article I read says:
The three-metre high inflatable bought as part of a campaign to encourage pet-lovers to pick up after their dogs went missing, El Pais newspaper reports. The bizarre inflatable disappeared after it had been packed away in its carry-case and the police are now on the trail of the 30 kilogramme dog poop, town officials say.
Speaking to the ABC newspaper, town councillor Angel Guirao said staff were shocked and perplexed by the theft, and a replacement excrement was already on order because “we know that the campaign has been a great success”.
I wish they’d asked me. I could have provided plenty of models for this piece of art.
Why are you picking on me. Google, eat your heart out cause I took this one!
Don’t hesitate to ask me anything about art. Or poop.
Filed under Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Conspicuous consumption, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Dogs, Duncan, Huh?, Humor, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Peter O'Toole, Political Corruption, Poop, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, Size Matters, Stealing, Stupid things happen in other countries too! Who knew!, Stupidity, Useful thing to do with poop, What a Maroon, Wild Beasts, WTF?
FiftyFourandAHalf 