The news is on, and the pundits are all falling all over themselves to be the first to put a bar of soap into Donald Trump’s mouth because he uttered the word “pussy” when referring to Ted Cruz’s unwillingness to, should he become president, bring back waterboarding.
The Donald’s and the woman in the audience’s description of Ted Cruz is not the one I would use. I personally prefer to call Ted Cruz “an asshole.” Bu then, I’m not running for president.
But the media, the Fourth Estate, aren’t concerned that the top contender for the GOP’s candidate for President of the United States favors torture. Favors one of the very practices that helped spread, helped foment, helped make terrorism an acceptable option to far more people who might just act on it.
The Donald’s feelings are hurt and therefore, he stamped his feet, put his fingers in his ears and said “la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-.” “Not going to debate.”
Of course, that leaves Fox and the debate moderators with a problem: Too few folks on stage.
After reading this blog post from my home town, though, I’ve come up with a solution.
Image: Turbosquid.com, which I did not make up.
You didn’t click on the link, did you. You never click on the links.
So I guess I’ll have to give you a hint.
The story in that blog is about a resident of my hometown who works as a photojournalist who met The Donald on a job. The billionaire tried to sell JP Vellotti a suit.
The story, to me, is a metaphor for The Donald’s offering:
He’s a cheap huckster selling things that just don’t fit.
So in my mind, an empty suit, standing in Donald Trump’s 7th spot on the Fox dias tonight, would represent exactly what Trump has to offer the United States.
It was one of the most embarrassing things about working at the World Health Organization for an American like me. My knowledge of geography really wasn’t all that hot.
I was pretty good at Europe. I knew that Italy is shaped like a boot, and Switzerland, where I was living, looked like a delicious croissant. Russia and China? No problem. South Africa and Chile — those were easy — they’re at the bottom (and I had been to Chile, so I knew that it was south).
It didn’t help that several countries changed names at the precise moment when I was trying to find them on the map. Yeah, I’m talking to you Burma/Myanmar.
But I’m a pretty quick study. My knowledge of geography grew daily as I had to figure out where the hell everybody was when they went away without me. Today I can proudly say that I, an American citizen, am no longer geographically challenged. I’m so good, I can even find Malawi on a map.
It’s right there at 4:00. Google Image.
So I will admit feeling a wee bit sanctimonious when I learned that the GOP wants to bomb every Arab city including Agrabah. Because I know where it can be found.
Those stupid Republicans! They don’t even know where Agrabah is! They don’t remember their, umm, history. I know that it’s the town from The Arabian Knights. Agrabah, the city of magic is the stuff of fiction, and folk lore and Disney movies.
Agrabah is where Aladin and Jasmin lived. The city they flew over on the magic carpet. Oh and the Genie. He was there too.
My bloggin’ buddy, Bruce Thiesen wrote an interesting piece about the GOP, that made me think that bombing Agrabah isn’t such a bad idea.
I figure, by focusing all our military efforts on Agrabah, we can rewrite Middle Eastern politics and history.
We can shoot fictitious people instead of real flesh and blood ones!
We can carpet bomb the hell out of a magic city instead of ones with bricks and mortar and things like hospitals and schools.
We can demonstrate to the world that we are willing to use the most terrible of weapons if anybody tries anything on us, but without hurting a fly. Or a flying carpet.
Bombing the shit out of Agrabah will satisfy the blood lust of the Right Wing without hurting any real people. The GOP will be happy, the Military-Industrial Complex will get their $$$$$ and nobody gets hurt (well, except the taxpayers). It’s a win-win-win. Lots of wins.
This is how we give peace a chance.
I’m expecting the Nobel Peace Prize for this baby.
FiftyFourandAHalf 