Category Archives: DON’T go back to your day job either

When Porno Would be a Public Service

When he was a young man, Ted Cruz, aspired to “make ‘tit’ films” and sought “World Domination, you know rule everything.”  Today he is a top contender for the GOP Presidential nomination.

Quick!  Will somebody please get this guy a job in porno so we can get him out of politics?

 

(My thanks to Father Kane of The Last of the Millennials where I first saw this gem.)

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‘Grave’ Therapy

Over the years, I’ve had to do some pretty weird things for work, had to work for some  weird people.  And while I have sometimes felt that my job was hell, and that it would be the death of me, well, I never thought that it would lead me to an early grave.  Or an early casket.

Possibly among the things I’ve hated most have been those retreat-thingys organized by HR.

For the most part, I’ve gotten along with folks I worked with.  Still, I find HR retreats — with their artificial conviviality — uncomfortable.  And even I, who willingly tells my most embarrassing stories to the whole world, finds doing so in a closed room to folks I work with when I don’t choose the timing — awkward.  They always seem so false, so forced.  Perhaps because they are.

Work-Life Balance

Google Images

Never again will I complain though.  Because as bad as things seem, they can always be worse.  MUCH WORSE.

Today I found out just how much worse things could be.

Yup, I read on my new BBC App that some Korean companies are holding mass funerals.  For their employees.  For their LIVE employees.

According to the article as well as independent sources, the Korean suicide rate is quite high, because folks are seriously stressed out.  Of course that is a serious situation — so much is expected of employees that they just can’t take it.

So, to alleviate the stress, somebody came up with a colorful approach to stress reduction.  [Please don’t tell my boss.*]

Well, they hold a company retreat, of sorts, many companies worldwide do that too.

But this one has a twist.  Or maybe it’s just twisted.  Perhaps both.

You see, they have groups of employees all get together, and write farewell letters to their families.  As if they are about to kill themselves.  Then, while gathered in a room with the folks they work with, they stand next to empty coffins.

The participants at this session were sent by their employer, human resources firm Staffs. “Our company has always encouraged employees to change their old ways of thinking, but it was hard to bring about any real difference,” says its president, Park Chun-woong. “I thought going inside a coffin would be such a shocking experience it would completely reset their minds for a completely fresh start in their attitudes.”

Yes.  They get into the fucking coffins!

Let me reiterate:  You go to work one day, and head off for a company retreat, knowing that it will be an awkward, wasted day and that you are already way behind in your work.

Then they have you write a suicide note and put you into a coffin.

lyingincoffins

BBC Photo, I’m guessing. Because while it came from the article linked to above, there is no credit given. Perhaps the photographer did not want to disrespect the, umm, un-dead.

The idea is to make employees feel that their lives are worth living.  However, I think that if someone forced me into a coffin, I would be thinking long and hard about my career choice.

And about litigation.  I would definitely be thinking about suing the shit out of somebody.

So the next time you decide you hate your job, count yourself lucky.  Because things aren’t really all that bad unless they trade your cubicle for a pine box.

***

*My current boss would never do this.  She’s a doctor.  She tries to keep people OUT of coffins.  But there have been other bosses …

 

 

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Support Your Local* Blogger**

It broke my heart when I learned that Gibber, of Gibber Jabber, needed to work.  She needed food.  A home.  Socks.

It broke my heart to learn that because of those pedestrian needs, Gibber was reluctantly closing her blog.  She collected questions, silly and serious, and we all provided the answers!  It was great fun.  You remember it, surely!

gibber-jabberin

Whoa is me, to have questions yet unanswered.  To have the question collector need to make a damn living.

Well, to make a short story long, Gibber had to make some money.  Dinero.  Big, fast bucks — Canadian so they don’t quite count up so quickly.

So our Gibber set up shop as a candle crafter.  Yes!  She started Sparking Hope Candles!  Hand-made, hand-scented, soy-based peace in a mason jar.  Her candles are really beautiful. See?

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Sparking Hope Candles

And they smell good.  And they support soy farmers who aren’t bloggers as a rule, but still.  I’m sure they’re nice folks too.

Gibber’s candles can be ordered either through her Shopify page:  or through Facebook.

Go have a look.  And if you’re as behind in your holiday shopping as I am, give Sparking Hope Candles a go!  Because we need to support our local* bloggers.**

And now for the footnotes, because I am a professional writer and footnotes contain useful information that nobody reads.  But they should:

 

* To paraphrase Forrest Gump, Local is as local does.  Or maybe I could paraphrase former Speaker of the US House of Representatives Tipp O’Neill and say All Blogging is local.  Or maybe I should quote you directly and say “Shut UP, Elyse!  We don’t care if Gibber is local or not!”

** Perhaps I should paraphrase … no?  No paraphrasing?  OK.  Gibber hasn’t been blogging lately because she needs to make a living.  So you can buy a candle, or you can click the red “X”.

*** My apologies to Glazed.  I was going to reblog his post, Sparking Hope Cain’t Be Drunk but West Virginia is currently beating Virginia in basketball and I just couldn’t quite get my hillbilly on.

**** SHIT!  I didn’t get a fee for this advertisement!  It’s just like those ones that Word Press inserts when you’ve said, “NO!  I don’t want advertisements on my blog!”

***** Anybody who noticed that there is no footnote ***, ****, or ***** gets a prize.   A candle they can buy themselves.  From Gibber!

 

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This Sums it Up Nicely — NSFW

As I often do, I’m snagging something else from my bloggin’ buddy, Father Kane over at The Last of the Millenniums.  Because, really, I haven’t seen such a good summary of why folks have guns in a while (Not Safe For Work).

I give you Australian comedian Jim Jefferies:

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Sometimes, There’s Just Nothin’ to Add

Sometimes, I am left speechless.

Sometimes, I feel my gag reflex going into hyper-drive.

And sometimes, I just need to get out of the way and let some folks speak for themselves.

So I’m gonna do just that tonight.

Here is GOP Presidential Candidate neurosurgeon Ben Carson, MD

And since I know you, and I KNOW you didn’t click on that video, I will have to step back up to the plate and tell you that the good doctor explained that we Democrats are all wrong.

It’s true, apparently.

Dr. Carson let all of us know that the GOP, well, they aren’t so bad.  Women should like them, even.

So says the No. 2 (in some polls) Republican presidential candidate Ben Carson.  It’s true.  He said on Thursday that Democrats were wrong to allege Republicans were waging a “war on women.”

“They tell you that there’s a war on women,” he said. “There is no war on women. There may be a war on what’s inside of women, but there is no war on women in this country.”

This guy should be headlining in the Poconos.  What an eff’in commedian.

Oh, well, maybe I do have something else to add:

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