Appearances are deceiving, but I have to admit that circumstantial evidence points directly to me as one of the 13 Russians indicted by Robert Mueller.
After all, long time followers will recall that I used to post all the time. I used to comment on politics, and on Donald Trump. I sought to sow confusion, discord, and rancor here at FiftyFourAndAHalf. I sought to get folks to the polls. Get them to vote my way.
And then I stopped. Practically disappeared.
Long time followers will also note that since Trump enteredsullied the White House, that I haven’t been writing a whole lot.
But really, it is entirely coincidence. Completely. I’m not a Russian agent. It’s all coincidence. I have had a bit of a make-over, though.
In spite of the fact that I have been AWOL for quite some time, I will not let my countrymen and countrywomen down. I am aware of my patriotic duty.
And I will fulfill it. Or fill the pot with it.
The Washington Post today ran an article about the Trumps’ request to borrow a painting from the Guggenheim Museum in New York City. The painting they requested is a Van Gogh. I can say, that I wouldn’t mind having private access to a Van Gogh, myself. Especially if I had already been exposed has trying to pass off a fake Renoir as a real one.
Anyway, here’s the painting they requested for the White House residence:
Instead, they offered an alternative:
The curator’s alternative: an 18-karat, fully functioning, solid gold toilet — an interactive work titled “America” that critics have described as pointed satire aimed at the excess of wealth in this country.
For a year, the Guggenheim had exhibited “America” — the creation of contemporary artist Maurizio Cattelan — in a public restroom on the museum’s fifth floor for visitors to use.
But the exhibit was over and the toilet was available “should the President and First Lady have any interest in installing it in the White House,” Spector wrote in an email obtained by The Washington Post.
The artist “would like to offer it to the White House for a long-term loan,” wrote Spector, who has been critical of Trump. “It is, of course, extremely valuable and somewhat fragile, but we would provide all the instructions for its installation and care.”
My friend Mark, at Exile on Pain Street, wrote about his personal experience with this, ahh, exhibit, a while back. But I couldn’t find the link.
No word on whether the Donald will accept the loan.
It’s hard to think of Switzerland without thinking about money.
After all, that’s where I personally hide my ill-gotten gains; isn’t it where you stored yours? Zurich is flush with cash — but it’s nothing to Geneva, home to private banking with a twist.
Above is a picture of my favorite Geneva hotel. Oh, no, I never stayed there. But it is conveniently located on the waterfront in Geneva, and it has the most delightful bathrooms in the lobby. It’s like hitting the jackpot of potties.
But in all of the times I slipped in there to use the facilities, I never once got any money there. After the article I just read, I gotta say, I was gypped. Cheated. Scammed.
Maybe I should have gone to a restaurant for my pitt stop.
Because three different restaurants in the financial district of Geneva had their toilets stopped up with €500 notes, each of which is worth about $600. Yup. It’s true.
You won’t be at all surprised to learn that I am sitting here at my computer figuratively shitting bricks about the latest news about the latest attempt of the Senate GOP to repeal Obamacare.
I’ve already written to my Senators (who will vote against it, they’re both Dems), to Senator Collins and Murkowski urging them to stand fast. I sent a link to my story of how loss of insurance in 1982 led me to a suicide attempt (albeit a stupid one) to Senator John McCain. I’ve called everybody I can.
Because if we don’t succeed, I will have to take drastic measures. And I know just what to do.
I recently read an article about a “Mad Pooper” who is on the loose in Colorado Springs, Colorado. She’s a jogger, who periodically drops her drawers and poops.
Now, in spite of 45 years of bowel problems, I do have a smattering of pride left. So I don’t want to do this.
But loss of insurance once led me to contemplate drastic action with a tetherball thing-y on Capitol property. Dropping my drawers and producing something nasty would be a breeze. And I will poop up and down the hallways of the United States Senate.
So call your Senators. Get them to vote AGAINST the Cassidy-Graham bill.
FiftyFourandAHalf 