Category Archives: Assholes

Why No, Thank You

The art of letter writing is dead, and it makes me sad.  Whenever I read history or biography, I think of the loss to mankind and to history of all of the letters we never exchange — emails aren’t the same.  And even still, it is likely that only Hillary Clinton’s emails will be kept.

Greeting cards are few and far between too.  I used to love to spend time searching stores for just the right one with just the right message.  Today, though, good ones are hard to find, and it just never seems that I can get to one of the three stores left in the continental U.S. that sells good ones when I need one.

Thank you cards too.  I once read that the key to George H.W. Bush’s success was that he always sent thank you notes.  But nobody ever sends those any more.

Or so I thought.  But today I go this in the mail:

Thank You Georgetown

A thank you card from the hospital where I let them shove tools up my butt. Inside it thanks me for letting me have them abuse my body.  (Or something like that.)  Not something you hear of every day.

You see, on Wednesday, I had my annual tuneup, a sigmoidoscopy, performed in the hospital so that Dr. C can check out the plumbing.  They aren’t really so bad, and they give me good drugs so I’m asleep and wake up refreshed.  I usually feel quite good afterwards in fact.

This time I felt even better, though.  Because my doctor told me that she thinks I’m in remission!  That means no active disease!  Whoo-hoo.  Even without a poop transplant or drinking worm larvae.  Cool.

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Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, Assholes, Crohn's Disease, Health, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, Humor, Oh shit, Poop Power, Poop transplants, WTF?

How I’ll Protest the AHCA

It’s all been said already.  The GOP bill, TrumpDoesn’tCare, sucks.  And frankly, I am unable to find the funny in the fact that the current leaders just sold us down the River Styx, on our way to hell.

I feel it personally, deeply.  I honestly fear for the future of myself and everybody like me with a preexisting condition.  Everybody with a chronic condition that requires expensive medicine.  Mine costs $26K every six weeks.  Over the 5 years of the “pool” the GOP added to the AHCA, I’ll use $1 million just by myself.  Because of poop problems.

Folks keep telling me that I’m over-reacting, that this bill will never pass the Senate.  And that’s true.  But I have no faith that the Senate version will be much better, only different.  After all, it is run by the folks who literally stole a supreme court seat.  Does anybody really believe that these guys will do the right thing?

So clearly there is only one response that I have to Donald Trump and the House GOP.

If you hear about somebody doing this at the White House or on Capitol Hill, just pretend you don’t know me.

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Filed under 'Merica, 2017, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Assholes, Cancer on Society, Chronic Disease, Class Act, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Crime and Punishment, Criminal Activity, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Cut it out, 2017!, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Donald Trump, Donald Trump is a Pussy Too, Elections Matter, Fuckin' Donald Trump, Good Deed Doers, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hillary for President, Holy Shit, House of Representatives, How stupid can you be, GOP?, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, Illness, Kakistocracy, Make Resistance Fun, My Right to Protest, Not My President, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Peaceful Protests, Political Corruption, Politician Pussies, Politics, Poop Power, Putin's President, Shit Your Pants Scary, Taking Care of Each Other, Trump is a Putz, Trump Legally Declared a Slug, Trump Mis-Administration, Trumpcare, TrumpDon'tCare, Washington, What a Maroon, What a Putz, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Where does the GOP get these guys?, Wild Beasts, Women Should Decide Women's Health Issues, WTF?

You’ve been waiting for this, haven’t you?


April Fools for normal folks.  A must have product for folks with poo problems.

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Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Crime and Punishment, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Disgustology, Farts

Perfect!

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Filed under 'Merica, 2016, 2017, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Ammosexuals, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Cancer on Society, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks In Office, Cut it out, 2017!, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Elections Matter, Extra Cash, Farts, Flatulence, Trump

Miss Me Yet?

I’m away, without good access to the internet.

But the universe told me you missed me.  Or maybe seeing this picture did:
You’re welcome.

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Filed under All The News You Need, Assholes, Chronic Disease, Conspicuous consumption, Curses!, Farts, Flatulence, FLOTUS