Why No, Thank You

The art of letter writing is dead, and it makes me sad.  Whenever I read history or biography, I think of the loss to mankind and to history of all of the letters we never exchange — emails aren’t the same.  And even still, it is likely that only Hillary Clinton’s emails will be kept.

Greeting cards are few and far between too.  I used to love to spend time searching stores for just the right one with just the right message.  Today, though, good ones are hard to find, and it just never seems that I can get to one of the three stores left in the continental U.S. that sells good ones when I need one.

Thank you cards too.  I once read that the key to George H.W. Bush’s success was that he always sent thank you notes.  But nobody ever sends those any more.

Or so I thought.  But today I go this in the mail:

Thank You Georgetown

A thank you card from the hospital where I let them shove tools up my butt. Inside it thanks me for letting me have them abuse my body.  (Or something like that.)  Not something you hear of every day.

You see, on Wednesday, I had my annual tuneup, a sigmoidoscopy, performed in the hospital so that Dr. C can check out the plumbing.  They aren’t really so bad, and they give me good drugs so I’m asleep and wake up refreshed.  I usually feel quite good afterwards in fact.

This time I felt even better, though.  Because my doctor told me that she thinks I’m in remission!  That means no active disease!  Whoo-hoo.  Even without a poop transplant or drinking worm larvae.  Cool.

62 Comments

Filed under Advice from an Expert Patient, Assholes, Crohn's Disease, Health, Health and Medicine, Holy Shit, Humor, Oh shit, Poop Power, Poop transplants, WTF?

62 responses to “Why No, Thank You

  1. Congrats. Yay for remission!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. You neglected to include an address where we might send a Hallmark card specific to the occasion:

    “Happy to hear no bad stuff in your rear!”
    or
    “I larva that you are in the position
    tequila (*to-kill-a*) drink in honor of remission!”

    Perhaps it is a good thing Hallmark never hired me for greeting card duty.
    But, sincerest cheers on your excellent results!

    *Holds imaginary glass, toasting “Bottoms Up!”*

    Liked by 1 person

  3. YAY!@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@@!!!!!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. And I thought it was going to be just another boring Monday morning. Congrats. Huzzah.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I am happy to hear about the great news!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Yeah! Yahoo! That’s a card worth getting.😘

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Well, its great news for you, but some of us were hoping to read about a poop transplant!

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Such wonderful news, Elyse! It’s spring and all hopeful things begin as summer comes. But I hope this doesn’t mean the end of your bathroom topics. I’ve sort of come to depend on you for that. 😉 – Marty

    Liked by 2 people

  9. Great news! (And just to let you know, just today both my kids sat down and wrote out a few overdue thank you cards….all hope is not lost!)

    Liked by 1 person

  10. After you get good news like that there is a euphoria for a while. Enjoy it and may it last forever! In the meantime, we’ll be saving good poop for your transplant.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Blogging buddies are THE best, Kate! Save that shit for me!

      But I’m not exactly euphoric — I don’t trust anything with this disease, and I’ve had some really bad days in the last month or so. But I’m kind of hoping that it will have a placebo effect on me — that I’ll feel better because I am supposed to be in remission! We’ll see!

      Liked by 1 person

  11. It’s nice to know that your colon made such an impression on Georgetown Hospital, but honestly, are you surprised? She’s been showing off for years. So happy to hear that she’s taking a vacation, hopefully, an early retirement.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am all for her early retirement, Tops! Personally, I’ve been trying to convince her to relax and not get her knickers in a twist for a long, long time. Maybe she’s finally listening!

      Like

  12. Yay! So happy to hear it! You deserve to have quiet bowels for a bit. Or at least bowels softened to a dull roar.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Deb

    Well that’s just dandy news, congratulations! I, if in the same situation, would be extremely happy if I found that I could avoid poop sharing and worms so I will keep good thoughts directed your way Elyse.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Great news! Too bad the only thank you cards we get are ones like these, instead of, say, thanks for the birthday gift or graduation gift or care package you sent. I have a friend who sends awesome handwritten thank you notes for everything; she gets a lot more stuff than the people who don’t thank me. Just saying. Would I be more inclined to have a repeat colonoscopy at a place that thanks me? Maybe, yeah. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • I agree about the thank you notes. No note (or at least an email) no gifts. Simple!

      But I’ve HAD repeat scopes there — without the thank yous! I was kind of weirded out by this one, actually. I mean, that combined with the fact that they always give you pictures of your anus when they do the scope, seemed over the top!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. Congrats on your remission! Sounds like you may not be a return customer, in spite of their thank-you note.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Well, I may just go back for the propofol! But seriously, I’ll need to go back for a while. I’m not quite convinced I’m in remission, and you never know when that’ll end. We”ll see. But it was sure good news to get!

      Liked by 1 person

  16. I would be remiss in not celebrating your remission. May it last forever! ❤

    Liked by 1 person

  17. Remission is such a lovely word. It offers up hope, and allows us to tentatively envision an alternate version of life; a version where we might finally get an opportunity to experience freedom from the unpleasant and painful routine of living our lives with a chronic health condition. It’s almost beyond the scope of our imagination. We’ve become so accustomed to arranging everything in our lives around that which plagues us, that the mere possibility of leaving it all behind (pun inevitable) has us suddenly navigating life through a different lens. Remission.

    May the possibility of remission become your new normal. Thanks for sharing the good news, (and all the other stuff, too, which helps put the idea of remission into crystal-clear context). Happy for you. Yep. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, 99! I’m hopeful, but I don’t completely trust it. We’ll have to see how things go for the next few months. But it was great to hear, I can tell you! Fingers crossed!

      Like

  18. I am very happy that your report is a really good one. Prayerfully and hopefully you will continue on the road to wellness. Continue to be kind to your body.

    This made me laugh- not at you but it was the thank you note from the hospital. I’ve never gotten one but then I’ve only been once (pacemaker implant) since I had my children. To the ER I’ve been three times for afib.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks, PPL. I’m hopeful. We’ll see. It’s been a long time since I heard that, and so I am not at all complacent. I will keep doing what I’ve been doing and keep my fingers crossed for a while. With Crohn’s you never know … I appreciate the good will coming from you, my friend!

      Liked by 1 person

  19. Congrats!!! What welcome news!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Good news about your health.
    I know what you mean about letters though. I still write letters and post them by snail mail even though I don’t get a reply most of the time. Emails are definitely not the same. Cards, I got fed up not finding one suitable for the people in my life, so I continue to make them, the only exception being a Sympathy Card which I will buy specifically for the family concerned.
    I also send handmade Thank You cards. It’s a dying art, and people are very surprised to receive one, yet for me it’s just being polite. How times change.

    Liked by 2 people

  21. That would be awesome. Truly really wonderful. And thank YOU for your … uh … contributions to medical science.

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Super cool, actually.
    And: thank you for the update! 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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