One of my favorite things about blogging, is that often, my bloggin’ buddies often give me the opportunity to tell stories that I don’t have the opportunity to tell.
Like this one.
Now you know that I had a wonderful childhood. As the youngest of five, somehow, I never felt unwanted, no matter what was going on. Except once.*
As I entered the kitchen, I noticed that my mom and two sisters, Beth and Judy, were sitting at the kitchen table, discussing anatomy. Female anatomy to be precise.. They were discussing “holes.” Their holes.
This might be a good time for guys to switch to another blog.
Yes, Mom, Beth and Judy were sitting at the kitchen table talking about their holes. Both of their holes. The TWO holes in their nether regions.
I was 7 years old, and very confused.
“But …” I started saying …
They didn’t want to listen. They continued talking, ignoring me.
Panic started to rise in me.
“But … but … listen to me!!!” I finally practically shouted.
They all turned to me and Beth said, “OK, Lease. What do you want to say.”
I looked around the table and said softly, in fear:
“I have three holes! There’s the one I pee through, the one I poop through, and one in the middle that doesn’t do anything. Don’t you guys have three?” Panic was building in me as I realized that the three of them just continued to looked at me. Judy rolled her eyes. She smirked.
“Nope. You’re just weird, Lease,” said Judy.
They all looked at me, blankly, until finally I left, taking my incomprehensible extra hole with me. And let me tell you that I was baffled about that opening for years.
For more than 50 years, I’ve wondered what that conversation was actually about. Over the years, I asked many times, but since the incident didn’t scar any of them for life, so they’d long since forgotten.
Now what does this story have to do with blogging and blogging buddies?
Well only yesterday my buddy Alice, of Coffee and a Blank Page commented on my blog piece, Tush Technologies and linked to an article more or less on this subject. Well, on the subject of vaginas, anyhow. Weird technological things about hoo-hahs to be exact.
Now I didn’t know that there was such a thing as a “menstrual cup” either. Apparently I haven’t changed much since I was 7. These new (to the extent anything used for Eve’s Curse can be considered “new”), more environmentally friendly collection devices. You can shove a cup into your box at the requisite time and, well, fill er up!
But according to the article that Alice sent me, there were draw backs with the cups. I’m sure you saw the problem leaking through, didn’t you.
Well, there was a problem Until Now. Because there is now smart, ummm, cootch, technology to keep that cup from runneth-ing over.
If I’m reading the article right, it will tell your smart phone when you need to, umm, dump.
Ain’t technology grand?
I don’t know exactly why, but this article made me think of something from another bloggin’ buddy, Father Kaine of The Last of the Milleniums.
* OK, I will admit I didn’t feel completely welcome that time when I was pushing into my newly married sister Beth’s bedroom when she’d pulled the bookcase in front of the door, either.