Monthly Archives: December 2016

Tradition!

Every year at this time, I write about my New Years’ tradition.  It’s a good one in that it is free and guaranteed to bring you good luck or your money back.

Normally I also post it after I am pretty sure folks have consumed enough to not be concerned about the guarantee.  This year, I’m doing it early.

OK.  Here it is:

At the stroke of midnight,

OPEN the back door

and force OUT all the BAD LUCK;

open-back-door

Of course, it’ll be dark.  And not this house.  Google Image

THEN

OPEN the Front Door

front-door

This one’s not mine, either.  It’s Google’s too.

AND LET IN THE GOOD LUCK

It doesn’t matter where you are, you can do it there.  Or you can wait and do it when you get home.  It’s just important to get the bad luck out and the good luck in.

This year, because, well, because 2016 has sucked BIG TIME, I recommend holding open the back door a good long time to be sure to clear out all the 2016 bad luck.  Obviously, we closed the doors too soon last year.

HAPPY NEW YEAR, EVERYBODY

AND

LET 2017 NOT SUCK AS MUCH AS WE EXPECT IT TO

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Filed under 2016, 2017, Adult Traumas, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Curses!, Don't Let the Door Hit You On Your Way Out, 2016!, History, Holidays, How the Hell Did We GET HERE?, Huh?, Humor, Peaceful Protests, Saving the World, Taking Care of Each Other, WTF?

Zip Your Lip

To anyone who has said that 2016 can’t get any worse, may I respectfully say

SHUT UP!

debbie-reynolds

 

 

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Filed under 2016, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Carrie Fisher, Classic Movies, Clusterfuck, Cool people, Cut it out, 2016!, Debbie Reynolds, Family, Love, Mothers and Daughters, Oh shit, praying, Sad News, Shit, Shit happens, Tom Price

Jingle Bells, Santa Smells …

It was a staple of my childhood.  In fact these lyrics always pop into my head whenever somebody sings Jingle Bells.

Jingle bells

Santa smells

Easter’s on its way …

The clip below was either produced by my childhood best friend, Liz, or other people sang our version, too.  I’m guessing the latter.

And it is an early gift to me, and to you.

Ho ho ho, Merry Christmas!  Leave the fan on!

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Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, A Little Restraint, Perhaps, Adult Traumas, Advice from an Expert Patient, Bat-shit crazy, Chronic Disease, Class Act, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Disgustology, Farts, Flatulence, Gas

Happy Holidays

Please know that I don’t say “happy holidays” only to irritate the folks who have nothing better to do than be irritated by something this stupid.

But there are a lot of holidays at this time of year, aren’t there?  No matter what your reason for buying presents, everybody the world over gets a New Year at about this same time each and every year.  So lighten up, folks.  Jump for joy.

reflection71.gif

I got this from Father Kane at The Last of the Milleniums, of course.

I plan to just keep watching this little guy until 2020.

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Filed under Humor

The Beast

Lemme get this straight.

duncan-christmas-2016

Photo Credit:  Jacob

A big fat guy in a red suit

will come down the chimney,

And I’m Supposed to Let Him In?

HO, HO, HO!

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Filed under Bat-shit crazy, Crazy family members, Criminal Activity, Dogs, Duncan, Good Works, Holidays, Huh?, Humor, Love, Oh shit, Peace, Wild Beasts