Daily Archives: May 30, 2015

Hey Doc? Do I Need This?

Perhaps I mentioned it a time or two, but I am something of an impulse buyer.  I succumb to all those “buy one, get one free” offers.  The “50% OFF!s,”  and, naturally, every sale.

Huffington Post Picture

Huffington Post Picture.  I just don’t get enough opportunities to use it.

 

The other day, I had to make an appointment for a medical test at a large DC hospital center.  Because I am a patient extraordinaire, I have all my tune ups and oil changes done at a major medical center.  The hospital version of Jiffy Lube.  I like feeling like my surgeons are on the cutting edge, and that my gastroenterologists are qualified to show others just what to put into my orifices.  I do not like amateurs poking about where I can’t see them.

But now?  Modern healthcare is just getting better and better!

Because there are all kinds of deals available.  I can shop for services at my local hospital!  How can you beat that?  You see, the MBAs have taken over healthcare.  So it’s just another consumer good.  Right?

In fact, I learned that I can purchase all kinds of pancreatic treatments!  Really!  Right there at Georgetown!  I can even, if I want, sign up for a pancreatic transplant!

But WAIT!  There’s MORE!

I can get deep brain stimulation!  I’m told while waiting on hold to make my doctor’s appointment, that it can treat (not cure) not just my GI problems, but illnesses, syndromes and conditions I don’t have!  Imagine that!

Yup!  I can treat not just my depression or bipolar symptoms, but my Parkinson’s Disease symptoms, too.  I’m not sure if I have to wait for those to develop first, or if I can just plunge right in and treat em.

Of course, I’m hoping that once my brain has been deeply stimulated,  I will come to understand why the MBAs think that someone with poo problems (and who spends way too much time with doctors and getting other treatments for the condition she is waiting on hold about) might enjoy some additional time in the hospital.  Because we all know just what a hoot those procedures can be.  Not to mention the designer gowns you get to wear.  Ammirite? 

Perhaps I can organize a girls’ retreat with my besties!  Hey girls, this gastric bypass is on me!

I’ve learned that I can have bloodless surgery at Georgetown, too.  I’d hate to make a mess.

The kidney tumors I also don’t have?  You guessed it.  They can be gone in no time.  Still gone.  Or maybe “Gone again” is the accurate description.  How about “Gone with the Wind?” Or is that mixing up body systems?

As soon as the lines open on Monday, I’ll be calling again.

These deals won’t last forever!

 

 

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Filed under Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Cancer, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Extra Cash, Family, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?

A Phila — A Philan — A Good Deed Doer

A week or two back, on Gibber Jabber, I responded to a question (because that’s what happens over at Gibber Jabber, she asks questions and you answer them.)  I said that my dream job would be to be a philanthropist.  A good deed doer.

They're called ... (Google, natch)

They’re called … phila — philan — “Good Deed Doers” (Google, natch)

 

And of course, if I could, I would give the world a whole lot of good stuff.

But this week I’ve found myself to be the benefactor of a good deed doer!  Yup, Me!

A very generous, very wealthy man gave me, John and mostly Duncan a lovely hunk of land in Maine on Mount Dessert Island where we are right now.

For many years, we’ve been coming to this island with our various dogs.  Acadia National Park takes up much of the island, and it is an amazingly beautiful place to hike or just sit and watch the sea from a pink mountaintop.  Acadia is magical.

But there are leash laws in Acadia, as it is a National Park.  And while we haven’t always been strict adherents to that particular rule, well, the park is full of people, some of whom don’t really want to meet my dogs (imagine!).

Last year, we found out about Little Long Pond. It is a family preserve, owned by the Rockefellers, with hiking trails, carriage roads and a lovely, well, long pond.  Dogs were allowed to run free there.  In all 1,000 acres of the place.

Little Long Pond Boat house

And this month, David Rockefeller celebrated his 100th birthday by giving this piece of land to Duncan!  Well, and me.  And John.  And you!

FREEDOM!

FREEDOM!

To celebrate his 100th birthday, he donated the land which abuts Acadia National Park (much of which his family had also donated) to the nonprofit Land and Garden Preserve, so that they will keep and preserve it AND CONTINUE TO LET DOGS RUN FREE!

Thank you, Mr. Rockefeller!

Thank you, Mr. Rockefeller!

Thanks, Mr. Rockefeller.  We wish you many happy returns.  We know we will have many happy returns to Little Long Pond; and we will think of you and thank you each time we do.

*     *     *

 I am not a particularly good photographer, but I have a camera shy dog.

 

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Filed under All The News You Need, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Dogs, Duncan, Good Deed Doers, Health, Holidays, Humor, Maine, Pets, Taking Care of Each Other