Tag Archives: Ammosexuals

No Balls

If this isn’t a metaphor for today’s GOP, I don’t know what is.

Balls are not allowed at next week’s GOP convention where the politicians who haven’t had the balls to stand up to Little Fingers Don until now will nominate him to be their candidate for President of the FUCKING UNITED STATES!

tennis-balls-1932897

Image from thumbs.dreamtime.com

Of course, in another expected metaphor, these same folks responded to the latest mass shooting of police officers in Dallas by adding language stating opposition to restricting magazine capacity & banning AR-15 rifles. There was no debate.

Here.  I’ll help you pack.  Other things that you can’t bring to the GOP convention (since I know you’re going) include:  knives of all sorts, lumber, coolers and cots.  Num chucks have to be left in the hotel room, as do your fireworks.

I did not notice rotten tomatoes on the list, so stock up!  There will be a run on them in Cleveland, I’m sure.

But because Ohio is an “open-carry” state, you can bring guns.

Guns guns and more guns

What could be better than drunk GOP ammosexuals with their guns?  Image credit epano.com

What could possibly go wrong?

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By Any Other Name

Sometimes,  as I fulfill my contractual duty to the WordPress community to write about all the news that is, well, news-y, I find myself unable to keep up with the fast pace of the current most blog-worthy items.

For example, today I wanted to write about the Bundy Boys while I sipped my coffee at breakfast.  I wanted to rant about bozos with bazookas, but alas, I had to go to work.  I could not rant.

You’ve heard about the Bundy Boys, haven’t you?  Ammon and Ryan (Ammon???? WTF?)  Two sons of Cliven Bundy have taken over federal land (a bird sanctuary, because we all know that those folks pack heat(ed hand and foot warmers) to protest what they claim is unfair guv’ment action.

Here is the low down from the Washington Post:

A group of armed anti-government activists remained encamped at a federal wildlife refuge in Oregon on Sunday evening, vowing to occupy the outpost for years to protest the federal government’s treatment of a pair of local ranchers set to report to prison Monday.

The occupation of a portion of the Malheur National Wildlife Refuge, about 30 miles southeast of Burns, Ore., began a day earlier, after a small group of men broke off from a much larger march and rally held on Saturday evening

The armed occupation is being led by Ammon Bundy, an Idaho rancher whose father, Cliven Bundy, led an armed standoff with federal agents in Nevada in 2014 and who has described his supporters as “militia men.”

Oregon birds 1

If you continue trying to send these convicted arsonists to jail, I will hold my breath until I turn blue.  Oh, yeah, I AM blue.  My bad.  (Google Image)

 

On the way to work, I formulated perfect sentences expressing my disdain for folks who claim to be patriots but who work against the government.  Petulant ammosexuals.  Boys with more guns than either brains or balls.  And if you’ve been paying attention, you might recall that I’m not big on guns.  Or dopes. Or armed-fucking-rebellion.

Well, today, the delay in my blog drafting reaped rewards.  Huge rewards.

Because at lunch time, because the interwebs are/is alive with ideas on just what to call the Bundy Boys.  As described in a Huffington Post article, folks are rising to the challenge of just exactly to what to call the boys.

Here are the current contenders:

#Y’All Qaeda

#VanillaISIS:

#YokelHaram

#al-Shabubba, and say the group is waging #YeeHawd

I thought we might help.  You see, originally I had planned to insert a poll RIGHT HERE to see which name y’all prefer, but in the newest new Word Press format, there appears no way to insert a poll.*

Oh and the two men who inspired this anti-guv’ment protest?  They were convicted of arson on Federal land and they served some time in prison.  Recently a federal judge determined that they had been improperly sentenced, and that there was additional time to be served.

But my favorite tweet?

Every successful revolution starts with takeover of closed visitor center with gift shop.

These two guys oppose the Bundy Boys, and turned themselves in today.  They didn’t condone the Bundy Boys take over of the bird sanctuary-with gift shop.

In fact, it seems that self-proclaimed “patriots” — “militia men” are fallin’ all over themselves to distance themselves from the Bundy Boys.

I can’t imagine why.  Can you?

***

* When the Bundy Boys are done with this here protest, I’m gonna call them up.  Then they can take over Word Press and we can call it:

#stop-all the damn changes-Word-Press-or-I’ll-shoot

***

This story just keeps on giving.  Just after I posted, I read this post, by I Tried Being Tasteful.

You really can’t make this shit up.

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