I only hope my husband doesn’t think this would make an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift.
Category Archives: Taking Care of Each Other
Married People
Married people are screwed.
That didn’t sound right.
Married people don’t get any.
Closer. But no cigar (which is good; cigars are disgusting).
There are no good songs about married people who have been together longer than dirt.
Yeah! That’s it!!
This morning I was happily singing away in the shower, belting out one song after another when I came to a realization. Songs, at least the ones that are in my vocal range (2 notes) are all either about the beginning of love or the end of love. If it’s a country song there is a dead dog in there as a bonus.
I’ve been married to John since 1986, living with him since 1985. Thirty years. Where are the songs to describe that kind of love?
Well, there aren’t any that I could think of. (That’ll probably happen as soon as I hit “publish.”)
So, I decided that I have to write one.
It’s a challenge in that I can’t read or write music. And I hate poetry. And, well, I long ago stopped singing publicly — I don’t drink that much any more. But still, I’m gonna draft the lyrics of a song for all of us old married folks.
♫
The Second Half
Because I love you,
♮
Let me snuggle up with you on the couch
♪
while I write a bit on my blog
🎼
***
Because I love you
♫
We’ll spend some time tonight
♪
Just hanging out together
♫
For you, I’ll only watch the second half.
🎼
On second thought, I guess there’s a reason there aren’t any songs about old, fat, bald, married folks. My bad.
But I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe a few things. I have a list, in fact …
Filed under Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Conspicuous consumption, Family, Farts, Flatulence, Huh?, Humor, Taking Care of Each Other
Can Ya Help a Girl Out, Here?
Do you like a cliffhanger?
A story that traps you, makes you want to know what happens next, and then doesn’t tell you?
I hate them. I just hate them. And when you, my bloggin’ buddy do it to me, well, I remember.
A little while ago, I read another damn cliffhanger, this time from Doobster at Mindful Digressions. Doobster wrote half of a really great story. A mystery. His characters are realistic, the scene and plot work. The dialog flows.
UNTIL IT STOPS.
I yelled at him. But he won’t finish it for me.
Would you?
Go on over there to Doobster’s, read it, and tell me what happens. http://mindfuldigressions.com/2015/01/31/i-seen-it-all/
Please leave the comments over there at Doobster’s — he likes his stats. You can also leave them here if you want. I’d turn off comments, but well, I’m not only mystery-plot challenged, I am comment-stopping challenged. Yeah, I know. First World Problems.
Please go and read his story and finish it for me. I gotta know what happens.
Thanks! You’re the best.
Need Extra Cash?
Need extra cash?
OK, I guess that was a trick question because, well who doesn’t?
In keeping with my newly assumed role of bringing you all the news you need to know , I will give you this profitable tip.
The Washington Post is reporting that you can earn up to $13 K anually. Anally.
Poop transplants are a real treatment that I’ve read actual medical journal articles about. The hypothesis is that our Western Culture (damn you McD’s!) has eliminated too much of the flora and fauna out of our GI tracts. The result is lots of people like me with bowel disease.
So scientists are looking at all kinds of ways to help.
One of the latest ideas is to repopulate the good bacteria. That’s the idea behind pro-biotics. They put back the good bacteria that overuse of antibiotics and other hazards of Western life have, ummm, eliminated.
One of those ways is through poop transplants. I kid you not.
At present, poop transplants are used only for treatment of poor suckers infected with c difficile* and e coli, particularly nasty bacteria that is really hard to get rid of. They are studying it in bowel diseases like my Crohn’s and colitis, but they haven’t yet flushed out all the problem issues.
So if you are really healthy and have good aim, you can earn some bucks while doing your business.
Washington Post. Notice how upright those treated people are
You know the worst thing about this for a Crohn’s patient? The knowledge that this isn’t the worst treatment imaginable. That goes to the one they were testing a few years ago under the same hypothesis — that our guts were too clean. With that treatment, they had you drink worm larvae. Yum.
I wonder if the researchers know about the whale in my last post.
*Thanks to my pals Kate Crimmins and Carrie Rubin. The article refs c diff; Ive read it is also used on e coli. So much shit; so many uses. So much money in the pot.
Where’s MY ‘Panic Button’?
Wednesday, the Texas legislature’s House voted to allow their members to install “Panic” buttons in their office. Isn’t that special?
The reason they might just need these panic buttons is because some folks are just getting out of hand. And in their hands, they want deadly weapons. Just about wherever they go.
The Texas Lege is voting on whether to allow “Open Carry” of guns. Texas would join 22 states where Open Carry is already legal. [For the record, I am astonished that that bastion of gun rights, Texas, does not currently allow folks to carry guns wherever they choose. Shocked, in fact.]
The vote to allow House members to install “Panic Buttons” all came about because of a group of folks, ummmm, lobbying for open carry rights. This group went to the office of a House member, Pancho Nevarez, who had the audacity to plan to vote “No” on open carry. And while these “lobbyists” believe strongly in the Second Amendment, they apparently haven’t read about the FIRST Amendment. They were aggressive. They were intimidating. They were, in a word, assholes.
But the thing is, rather than doing anything to prevent assholes and crazy folks from carrying guns, intimidating people and killing them, the Texas House voted to allow their members to install “Panic Buttons” to alert security.
You will be surprised to know this action just doesn’t sit well with me.
Perhaps I should be used to it. After all, there have been security measures in Congress and most Executive Branch departments for nearly 30 years.
Folks cannot bring their weapons into the State or Defense or Homeland Security Department. You can’t even bring it into the Air and Space Museum.
And, really, that’s OK by me. I don’t want government officials to be shot at their desks. It’s so messy.
But you know what? I don’t think anybody should be shot at a Walmart. Or at a movie theater. Or at an elementary school.
So why should we provide an extra level of protection for the very same folks who vote to put the rest of us at risk?
The folks who decide on the gun laws are voting to keep themselves safe. If they’re going to do that, they should damn well vote to make me safe. And you. And our kids.
What is wrong with this picture?
FiftyFourandAHalf 