Category Archives: laughter

How to Find A Lost Civilization

It may surprise you to know, but once I dreamed of being an archeologist.  It’s true!  That was before the Indiana Jones movies, too.  It was before I knew I was destined to become a great actress.  Oh, and before bowel disease.

Once I developed bowel disease, my dreams changed.  Tromping around the desert searching for a toilet and artifacts (in that order) didn’t seem like a great career path.  And until today, well, I believed I was right.  But I just realized I was wrong.  (I was right that I would be wandering the desert looking for a place to poop, though.  So I wasn’t completely wrong.)

You see, today’s Washington Post reports that Clifford Coulthard, while looking for a place to go, stumbled onto an absolutely amazing discovery:

“Nature called, and Cliff walked up this creek bed into this gorge and found this amazing spring surrounded by rock art,” archaeologist Giles Hamm told the Australian Broadcasting Corp. “A man getting out of the car to go to the toilet led to the discovery of one of the most important sites in Australian prehistory.”

Profile view of Warratyi Rock Shelter elevated above local stream catchment. (Giles Hamm) as printed in the Washington Post article linked to earlier.

Profile view of Warratyi Rock Shelter elevated above local stream catchment. (Giles Hamm) as printed in the Washington Post article linked to earlier.

as a friend of mine once said, “Civilization all comes down to where you put your poop.”

Think of the discoveries I could have made over the nearly 45 years I’ve been pooping too much!

Shit!

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Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, Archeology, Conspicuous consumption, Cool people, Crohn's Disease, Health, Huh?, Humor, laughter, Nobody's gonna excavate my poop. I hope., Oh shit, Poop, Science, Shit, Shit happens

Hey Doc? Is The Joke Always on Me?

I swear, my life is the butt of one joke after another.  And because it’s me, I do mean BUTT.

This morning over breakfast I read the news that researchers have just discovered another likely suspect for my Crohn’s Disease.  Whoo-Hoo!  I couldn’t wait to learn more about my future cure!

azoles

Screen shot of the article in Newswise.

I was in my element.  I am, after all, a fake medical expert AND a real expert patient.  I quickly read the article and learned that researchers had found a fairly common fungus that was likely to be in my gut — a fungus amungus, as my Dad would have said.  Candida tropicalis could be the culprit.  And once you know the culprit ….

Naturally, my next step was to look up candida tropicalis to see what medicines I can take to get rid of it.  But this is my life.  And it is me.

And so I learned that the fungicides that are use to combat candida tropicalis are assholes.

Or really “azoles” — a specific class of anti-fungal drug.

 

thiazole

Wikipedia image of one azole, Thiazol.  Exactly what does it look like is happening here?????!!!!

 

Is it just me or does this seem like another poop joke on me????  After all, an azole by any other name ….

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Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Being an asshole, Chronic Disease, Crohn's Disease, Curses!, Drugs, Gross, Health, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, laughter, Mental Health, Oh shit, Out of the Pot, Poop, Shit, Shit happens, Toilets, WTF?

Not Me. Really

It’s true.  I’m a dog person.

But I do like other animals.  Most other animals in fact.  And just because I’m a dog person doesn’t mean I don’t like cats.  I do!

And I do talk about poop a lot.  So I understand why you might be thinking that this is me, that I made this video.

But it’s not.  I didn’t.

In fact, I wouldn’t have found it except that I was reading a post over at The Bloggess. 

Jenny was using Google’s auto-complete function to see what would happen if she typed in “Jenny likes”.  I thought it would be fun to see what Elyse likes.

It turns out I like to poop on cats.

 

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=81kmp_Fj1Ng

I never knew.

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Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, Adult Traumas, All The News You Need, Bat-shit crazy, Being an asshole, Bloggin' Buddies, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Health, Health and Medicine, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, I Can't Get No, laughter, Mom would die of embarrassment, Poop, Seriously funny, Seriously gross, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, Stupidity, Useful thing to do with poop

Wow!

Flotus

Meme courtesy of CrooksandLiars.com

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Filed under 'Merica, 2016, All The News You Need, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Baby You Can Drive My Car, Campaigning, Class Act, Elections, Elections Matter, FLOTUS, Good Deed Doers, Hillary for President, Humor, laughter, Taking Care of Each Other

This Really Gets My Goat

Do you ever want to pack it all in?  Shed these mortal coils?  Have an out of body experience?  Do you get so bored that you fantasize foreign travel, hanging out with a group of friends who won’t pester you with questions, eating a steady diet of fresh picked food, and drinking water from a mountain stream?

My inability to do that for a whole host of reasons, well, it really gets my goat.

But I think I can honestly say that when I consider having out of body experiences, when I think of packing it in, and when I contemplate shedding these mortal coils, I can’t even approach, neigh, fathom what Thomas Thwaite did.

Part of me sees the attraction.  After all, remember, I spent five years living in Switzerland.  And when you climb those mountains, your heart and soul expand.  You have what I dubbed Julie Andrews Moments where you want to sing with joy.  I can honestly say that I’d love to go back and spend some time there in those mountains.

But there are limits to how I’d like to go.  With whom I’d like to spend time.  And what I would like to wear when I get there.

For example, I do not want to imitate Thomas Thwaites.  He became a goat hung out on a mountainside.  With a herd of goats.  Eating grass.

There’s an article in the Washington Post about Thomas the Goat Man.  How he developed a prosthesis that enabled him to walk like a goat.  The challenges he faced.  The cold.  How he felt that human kind was progressing towards robotics, and he wanted to go a different way.  So he became a goat.

This video, read by a robo-caller, tells the rest of the story.  You can watch it and hear the story for yourself.  Or you can mute it, and watch a man in weird costume eat grass.  Your choice.

 

I can’t help wondering if the little goats used to laugh and call him names.  Did they let poor Thomas play in any goatherd games?

 

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Filed under 2016, ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, All We Are Saying Is Give Peace A Chance, Bat-shit crazy, Diet tips, DON'T go back to your day job either, Europe, Goats, Huh?, Humiliation, Humor, It's not easy being green, keys to success, laughter, Mental Health, Not something you hear about every day, Oh shit, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Switzerland, Taking Care of Each Other, The Alps, What a Maroon, Wild Beasts, WTF?