Ancient Shit

It seems that while there is nothing new under the sun, there’s a lot of new stuff in bogs.  New-ish stuff.  New-to-me-and-you stuff.

Sometimes it’s just horse shit.

But sometimes it’s special.  Special horse shit.  That, apparently, is a thing.

You see, some folks dug up some old shit and decided they know who put it there.

Hannibal!

In a study published Monday in the journal Archaeometry, researchers argue that new evidence in the form of some very old poop might hold the key to solving this mystery once and for all.

Yup!  Using ancient horse shit, scientists are pretty sure they’ve figured out Hannibal’s route over the Alps.

They say that microbial evidence suggests a “mass animal deposition” (a.k.a. poop) occurred in the Col de Traversette pass in 218 B.C. — just when Hannibal was making his journey to Rome. By digging around in a peaty bog along the pass, the researchers found what they think are microbes usually associated with horse manure.

“Over 70% of the microbes in horse dung are from a group known as Clostridia and we found these microbes in very high numbers in the bed of excrement,” study author  of Queens University wrote in an article for the Conversation.

Hannibal and poop

I’m afraid I don’t know these guys personally, But Fox News tells me they are from Queens University in Belfast.  And who am I to doubt Fox?  This may be a FoxNews photo, too.  But I got it from Google.  I love you Google.  Fox?  Not so much.  I do love the Alps, though.  Does that help?

Now, you might ask, where are those legendary elephants?  I don’t know.

Here’s what they say:

Horses trudging through the Alps are suspicious, but solid evidence of elephants in their company might close this case for good. Until then, Allen and his colleagues will have to keep probing the poop and surrounding areas for more clues.

There are also reports of horsey tape worms.  But I do believe that that is a subject for another fake medical expert’s blog.  It’s bad enough that I did two poop posts in a row.  This is becoming a pattern.

Oh, and I personally have experience with horse poop of the European variety.  See:  https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2012/05/24/me-and-julie/

Sometimes, a woman just has to accept her fate.  Shitty though it may be.

52 Comments

Filed under ; Don't Make Me Feel Perky Tonigh, All The News You Need, Awards, Bat-shit crazy, Beating that Dead Horse, Disgustology, Europe, Farts, Flatulence, Good Deed Doers, History, Holidays, Huh?, Humor, I Can't Get No, laughter, Nobody's gonna excavate my poop. I hope., Oh shit, Poop, Poop transplants, Seriously funny, Seriously weird, Shit, Shit happens, The Alps, There are better things to do in the Alps than dig up poop, Toilets, Wild Beasts, WTF?

52 responses to “Ancient Shit

  1. Elephants! I want elephants!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. One of my absolutely most favorite student questions came from a new-to-the-US-language-learner who asked me in earnest: “Miss, what is the difference between bullshit and horseshit?” 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    • That is hilarious! My late father once told me the difference: these days, there’s a lot more horseshit on the ground and bullshit in the wind!

      Welcome!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes: A whole lot more! When I wrote about this in my book it didn’t take me but a minute to recognize that the difference between bullshit and horseshit was simply the difference between year one and year two of yet another of those so many “fix the teachers” school reform trainings.

        Liked by 1 person

  3. Dave

    It’s absurd how much you can discover from excrement. I’m learning this in med school, and it’s both interesting and kinda… well, strange, I suppose. Not a good conversation starter at a cocktail party.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Valuable information, indeed, but there’s a rather disturbing trend going on in the anals of Elyse blogging history.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Actually I figured out why, Peg. The day after I posted this, I ended up in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Hence the backlog of poop posts.

      They will roto-rooter me later today and you can look forward to a poop-free set of posts.

      Like

  5. Oh my … You are truly become the Empress of Shit … the Cool of Stools for Fools …. star of Lady and the Turd.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Dana

    Probing The Poop, wasn’t that a show on TLC?

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yeah, I think that until they find elephant poop it’s not at all certain it was the path of Hannibal’s army. But the only way to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt would be to dig up Hannibal’s poop.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I saw this article, and I almost posted it to you.
    I’m glad you saw it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I think, no really I know, you would be far cooler in the eyes of my grandsons than I am. I might have a plethora of pictures on my skin but you talk all things poop. They would find you far more fun at their stage of development. I am crushed.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Thank God I have you to keep me au courant on all things shit. And Paul is wrong–you can NOT have too many poop posts. [struggles mightily to avoid connecting this topic to the Primaries, because some hits are just TOO easy…]

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You know what Freud would say about your stage of development LOL.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. 1jaded1

    LOL and gag…and more LOL. My body is so confused. 😕

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Now that’s a research project I would be fine not being a part of. Imagine presenting those findings at a professional meeting and trying to keep a straight face.

    Liked by 1 person

  14. Paul

    Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! WARNING! This blog has reached 89% of allowed monthly Poop talk. One more post in the next 30 days will exceed the levels decreed by the iPOPE (international Protocols On Poop Excretion) for quasi-medical writers’ blogs. Further accreditation of the writer on Poop could raise these tolerances. Failing that the effective Poop Post limits have been reached as a minimum of 10% of allowed Pooping allowance must be maintained in case of random Poop mentions during the remaining 25 days in this month.

    This warning brought to you by the PPP (Poop Post Police) Editing or deleting this warning from the warned blog comments constitutes a violation of iPOPE and is punishable by ten years in the can or probation of 13 Poops per day for the assigned time.

    .http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/dvarg/dvarg1112/dvarg111200073/11671744-warning-sign-stop-feces–illustration-on-white-background.jpg

    Liked by 1 person

  15. So, you call me out on a post about a Museum of Shit, but I get no reference here??? Really. I think we need to make a deposit somewhere. Oh wait, I just had an idea … how about a time capsule full of our shit in all of its glorious forms and consistencies?!?! What do you think?

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Ummm… I dunno. This blog seems to be reporting quite heavily on the topic of poop lately. Well, I guess that’s better than covering the primaries…

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Your second #2 post in a row. Yep, a definite pattern. Thanks for the scatological report on Hannibal. You’d think the Romans would have smelled him coming, from miles away.

    Liked by 3 people

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