It seems that while there is nothing new under the sun, there’s a lot of new stuff in bogs. New-ish stuff. New-to-me-and-you stuff.
Sometimes it’s just horse shit.
But sometimes it’s special. Special horse shit. That, apparently, is a thing.
You see, some folks dug up some old shit and decided they know who put it there.
Hannibal!
In a study published Monday in the journal Archaeometry, researchers argue that new evidence in the form of some very old poop might hold the key to solving this mystery once and for all.
Yup! Using ancient horse shit, scientists are pretty sure they’ve figured out Hannibal’s route over the Alps.
They say that microbial evidence suggests a “mass animal deposition” (a.k.a. poop) occurred in the Col de Traversette pass in 218 B.C. — just when Hannibal was making his journey to Rome. By digging around in a peaty bog along the pass, the researchers found what they think are microbes usually associated with horse manure.
“Over 70% of the microbes in horse dung are from a group known as Clostridia and we found these microbes in very high numbers in the bed of excrement,” study author of Queens University wrote in an article for the Conversation.
I’m afraid I don’t know these guys personally, But Fox News tells me they are from Queens University in Belfast. And who am I to doubt Fox? This may be a FoxNews photo, too. But I got it from Google. I love you Google. Fox? Not so much. I do love the Alps, though. Does that help?
Now, you might ask, where are those legendary elephants? I don’t know.
Here’s what they say:
Horses trudging through the Alps are suspicious, but solid evidence of elephants in their company might close this case for good. Until then, Allen and his colleagues will have to keep probing the poop and surrounding areas for more clues.
There are also reports of horsey tape worms. But I do believe that that is a subject for another fake medical expert’s blog. It’s bad enough that I did two poop posts in a row. This is becoming a pattern.
Oh, and I personally have experience with horse poop of the European variety. See: https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2012/05/24/me-and-julie/
Sometimes, a woman just has to accept her fate. Shitty though it may be.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Elephants! I want elephants!
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Personally, I prefer donkeys!
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Hannibal had donkeys? 😉
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NO. But I do prefer donkeys. And I’ve been to the Alps. That should count for something!
I forgot to welcome you as a first time commenter. So now I will welcome you on your second comment. Welcome!
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Thanks. And I concede. Your Alps trump my Rockies.
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Ah, but you’re still in the Rockies, right? I haven’t seen the Alps in 14 years!
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Hmm, prefer Donkeys , eh? Have I got a deal for you! My cousin – Sheila Burns – owns a private Donkey Sanctuary west of Toronto. http://www.primrosedonkeysanctuary.com/ She is a registered charity and also acts for the SPCA when they raid a farm with mistreated donkeys – they bring them to her. Last time I visited Primrose, Sheila had 13 donkeys in residence. She finds new homes for them but she is very particular about where they go and applicants have to pass strict criteria. She actually had a donkey with the cross of Christ on its back last time I was there (they seem to be a recessive marking pattern – only a few are around). Anyway, if you want a donkey, I can hook you up. 😀
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I don’t like them THAT much! But good for your cousin. We need to take care of critters.
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I chose a picture of a smiling donkey just so you would be enamored Elyse. Ha!
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The picture didn’t take, Paul! But I did got to the website for your cousin’s sanctuary.
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Hmm, I can see the picture – I wonder if I’m the only one?
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Now it’s showing up. Donkeys are asses you know, so I’m sure it’s his fault!
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One of my absolutely most favorite student questions came from a new-to-the-US-language-learner who asked me in earnest: “Miss, what is the difference between bullshit and horseshit?” 🙂
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That is hilarious! My late father once told me the difference: these days, there’s a lot more horseshit on the ground and bullshit in the wind!
Welcome!
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Yes: A whole lot more! When I wrote about this in my book it didn’t take me but a minute to recognize that the difference between bullshit and horseshit was simply the difference between year one and year two of yet another of those so many “fix the teachers” school reform trainings.
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Fix or eliminate the administrators was my position as a parent. They seemed to multiply and I could never quite figure out what they did!
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It’s absurd how much you can discover from excrement. I’m learning this in med school, and it’s both interesting and kinda… well, strange, I suppose. Not a good conversation starter at a cocktail party.
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A gastroenterologist in the making!
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Valuable information, indeed, but there’s a rather disturbing trend going on in the anals of Elyse blogging history.
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Actually I figured out why, Peg. The day after I posted this, I ended up in the hospital with a bowel obstruction. Hence the backlog of poop posts.
They will roto-rooter me later today and you can look forward to a poop-free set of posts.
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Oh my … You are truly become the Empress of Shit … the Cool of Stools for Fools …. star of Lady and the Turd.
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I know. It’s all overwhelming!
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Your starring role in the movie is intriguing.
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Probing The Poop, wasn’t that a show on TLC?
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No. But we could get rich pitching this series
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Yeah, I think that until they find elephant poop it’s not at all certain it was the path of Hannibal’s army. But the only way to prove it beyond a shadow of a doubt would be to dig up Hannibal’s poop.
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That would be some serious poop.
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I saw this article, and I almost posted it to you.
I’m glad you saw it. 🙂
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You’re thoughtful. Shit does come at me from all directions!
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I’m a fan of historical shit. 🙂
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Me too! 💩
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I think, no really I know, you would be far cooler in the eyes of my grandsons than I am. I might have a plethora of pictures on my skin but you talk all things poop. They would find you far more fun at their stage of development. I am crushed.
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Maybe for a few minutes. Until I had to go to the bathroom again?!
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Thank God I have you to keep me au courant on all things shit. And Paul is wrong–you can NOT have too many poop posts. [struggles mightily to avoid connecting this topic to the Primaries, because some hits are just TOO easy…]
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You know what Freud would say about your stage of development LOL.
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I fail to see what my father has to do with this topic!
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Hehehe.
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LOL and gag…and more LOL. My body is so confused. 😕
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Just try to not old both ends at the same time. That’s when the, umm, shit, hits the fan. It’s never pretty.
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So true. It is never good when that happens. I almost went there…almost. GMTA. *snicker*
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Good night Gracie …
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Now that’s a research project I would be fine not being a part of. Imagine presenting those findings at a professional meeting and trying to keep a straight face.
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Yes! I bet there we’re one or two giggles. Maybe s neigh or two …
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Ha, maybe so.
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Whoop! Whoop! Whoop! WARNING! This blog has reached 89% of allowed monthly Poop talk. One more post in the next 30 days will exceed the levels decreed by the iPOPE (international Protocols On Poop Excretion) for quasi-medical writers’ blogs. Further accreditation of the writer on Poop could raise these tolerances. Failing that the effective Poop Post limits have been reached as a minimum of 10% of allowed Pooping allowance must be maintained in case of random Poop mentions during the remaining 25 days in this month.
This warning brought to you by the PPP (Poop Post Police) Editing or deleting this warning from the warned blog comments constitutes a violation of iPOPE and is punishable by ten years in the can or probation of 13 Poops per day for the assigned time.
.http://us.cdn2.123rf.com/168nwm/dvarg/dvarg1112/dvarg111200073/11671744-warning-sign-stop-feces–illustration-on-white-background.jpg
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What did we do hen the Enforcer was forcibly absent???? But. Butt Sigh. I’m already probation at days, Paul
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So, you call me out on a post about a Museum of Shit, but I get no reference here??? Really. I think we need to make a deposit somewhere. Oh wait, I just had an idea … how about a time capsule full of our shit in all of its glorious forms and consistencies?!?! What do you think?
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Sadly, I have a shitty time capsule. My septic system.
And I am a cruel person when it comes to poop. Didn’t I mention that? Totally heartless.
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Ummm… I dunno. This blog seems to be reporting quite heavily on the topic of poop lately. Well, I guess that’s better than covering the primaries…
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Same shit. Different channel.
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Your second #2 post in a row. Yep, a definite pattern. Thanks for the scatological report on Hannibal. You’d think the Romans would have smelled him coming, from miles away.
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Ah, but they were busy peeling grapes!
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