Well, maybe you should put down that beverage — I love making liquid come out of your nose, but only when I’m brilliantly funny. This is funny in that “You know folks are gonna buy this one” sort of way.
You see, Mitch McConnell ‘a latest tactic is to claim that the way to end gridlock in Congress, is to elect MORE FUCKING REPUBLICANS.. I am not making this up. Here is the article http://m.huffpost.com/us/entry/6087292
Remember, Mitch (aka Yertle the Turtle) was one of the architects of Gridlock.. He famously worked with other GOP leaders in an effort to ensure that the then-newly elected President Obama failed. Because you see, the GOP is more important than America. And Republicans are more important than Americans. AmmIRite Folks???
Personally, I don’t thinkEricans are that stupid. But if Americans buy that malarkey, then I am going to start selling bridges and swampland.
It’s Open Season for choosing health care options at my company, and probably at yours.
Personally, I think that they call it something else, because I’m pretty sure that most people associate “open season” with hunting. And people who get as frustrated as I have trying to have relatively simple questions answered should not be invited to think of firearms.
It’s a simple question! ANSWER IT!!! (Google image)
Instead of shooting anyone, or permanently damaging my own vocal chords screaming into the phone, I thought I would bring back this post nobody ever read.
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Automated telephone answering systems are responsible for the 40% increase in psychotic events over the past 15 years.
That’s my theory, anyway. My hypothesis. I’m not sure how to prove it, but it is true. My secondary hypothesis is that all incidents of domestic terrorism are directly tied to automated telephone systems. The FBI should investigate.
Personally, I become psychotic each and every time I have to press 1 for this and 2 for that. I’ll cut them a break for language, though. I have no problem pressing 1 for English. People need to grumble in their native tongue. Spanish speakers should have that right too.
But in fact, nobody gets to bitch. We just press 1 or 2 respectively and listen to additional options, none of which are what we want. None of the prompts are even close to what really want to do. None of them says “Press 4 to scream at a human.”
I become progressively more apoplectic with each and every telephone prompt. Eventually, with perseverance, I finally get a person. And by the time I do, that person on their end of the telephone is thinking long and hard about their career choice.
It’s not their fault. I always tell them that. I know it is true. But that fact doesn’t alleviate any of my anger at the time I have spent just to get to them. And nine times out of ten, the human I have reached is the wrong human in the wrong department and usually in the wrong country. I must start again. My psychosis soars along with my blood pressure.
There is even one telephone prompt voice that makes my blood boil. I call her Sybil. Sybil is everywhere: at my cable company and my power company and a couple of the banks I briefly considered doing business with until I heard her speak. She is young, chatty. She pretends to be my friend. She is not my friend. I do not want to be friends with a telephone prompt. I do not want to talk to her. I do not want to do anything she asks of me. And I really do not want to press her buttons. She is pressing mine. Remotely.
On average, after approximately 5 different prompts I am invariably led to a dead end where I have the same four original choices, none of which remotely fulfilled my need at the start. Or, if somehow one of the choices would work, I am promptly disconnected. I must start again with Sybil.
I am pretty sure the cost savings in terms of personnel is not worth it for businesses. Often by the time I am done with a call about this or that, I am ready to destroy the building. And if all your customers feel that way—and they do–perhaps you should rethink your policy.
One minute with a person early on and my problem would have been solved, amicably, and I would be a satisfied customer. Instead, an hour later, I would give all that I own for a battalion of similarly psychotic customers who would help me storm company headquarters and pin down just one human for us to yell at in turn. But by the time my turn comes, of course, I will have forgotten why I want to yell at them. And then I’ll have to talk to Sybil again.
One of the drawbacks of living in the DC area is elephants. As you probably know, the elephant is the symbol of the GOP.
Frankly, that makes me really blue. OK, bluer. I am a Democrat and I love Elephants.
Republicans are nothing like elephants. Elephants work together for the good of the herd. They are sweet unless you piss them off. They are gentle. They help each other. They understand climate change.
I could give you a million other reasons why the elephant should not be the symbol of today’s GOP, but let me just show you this video to prove my point:
You’ll notice not one adult elephant, NOT ONE telling that little baby elephant to pull itself up by its bootstraps.
I rest my case.
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Frank, of AFrankAngle is celebrating his 1500th post with a party this weekend. Go on over and join him if you can. And if you don’t know Frank’s blog, check it out.
AND IF you’d like to make my puppy Duncan a pinup star, please vote/donate to the Arlington (VA) Animal Welfare League. Here’s my post with info: https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2014/10/01/vote-early-for-duncan/ I was going to do a widget on my sidebar, but UMMMMMM, I can’t remember how. OK, so I am not technically minded. Or minded technically. Or able to do widgets. Sigh.
Lately, I’m afraid that we’ve become a society of apologists. Have you noticed? Everybody is apologizing all the time. And not one of them means it. Rarely does anybody take responsibility for their beliefs, which are often exactly what was exposed — their racism, mysogony, whatever.
It’s not just that I’m error prone that makes me wary. Anybody who knows me knows that I’m not big on social media. Nope, not at all. And it’s not only because I can’t be bothered to figure out how to use it. I have a Facebook account that I started so that I could vote for Speaker7 for some contest she was in. Naturally, I couldn’t vote anyway for some reason. I have one “friend” on Facebook.
When I first started my blog, I joined LinkedIn, thinking I could promote my blog. But then I had to enter real live info about myself like my name. Since it is being used as a professional networking society, the dangers of using LinkedIn to promote my blog became clear. Including a link to my blog would possibly attract a lot of people who would read my blog, but they would all be clients. Clients reading that I am a “fake” medical professional. And then, naturally, I would need to use LinkedIn to find a new job.
I’m sure I’d like Twitter — I love making short, snappy comebacks. But a Twitter account would likewise end up with me needing to use LinkedIn to find a job because I’d never get any work done.
So I’ve been happy with face-to-face talking, emailing and texting. And blogging of course, which is a realm all of its own.
But I just read an article that has me shaking at my keyboard. Worried about where this will all end up. Afraid of the future. Because they’re going to get into my brain. It’s just a matter of time before we can all transmit our thoughts to each other without the aid of a computer or a phone or even a mouth.
It informed me that scientists have just managed to transmit thoughts from one brain to another, across the distance of 5,000 miles. Brain to Brain. Non-verbal, um verbal communication.
Can you imagine the future? What politicians will say now? The excuses they will come up with for when they express a true thought or opinion and the recipient doesn’t like it? Oh Lord. It won’t be pretty.
FiftyFourandAHalf 