I only hope my husband doesn’t think this would make an appropriate Valentine’s Day gift.
Category Archives: Humor
Married People
Married people are screwed.
That didn’t sound right.
Married people don’t get any.
Closer. But no cigar (which is good; cigars are disgusting).
There are no good songs about married people who have been together longer than dirt.
Yeah! That’s it!!
This morning I was happily singing away in the shower, belting out one song after another when I came to a realization. Songs, at least the ones that are in my vocal range (2 notes) are all either about the beginning of love or the end of love. If it’s a country song there is a dead dog in there as a bonus.
I’ve been married to John since 1986, living with him since 1985. Thirty years. Where are the songs to describe that kind of love?
Well, there aren’t any that I could think of. (That’ll probably happen as soon as I hit “publish.”)
So, I decided that I have to write one.
It’s a challenge in that I can’t read or write music. And I hate poetry. And, well, I long ago stopped singing publicly — I don’t drink that much any more. But still, I’m gonna draft the lyrics of a song for all of us old married folks.
♫
The Second Half
Because I love you,
♮
Let me snuggle up with you on the couch
♪
while I write a bit on my blog
🎼
***
Because I love you
♫
We’ll spend some time tonight
♪
Just hanging out together
♫
For you, I’ll only watch the second half.
🎼
On second thought, I guess there’s a reason there aren’t any songs about old, fat, bald, married folks. My bad.
But I wouldn’t change a thing. Well, maybe a few things. I have a list, in fact …
Filed under Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Conspicuous consumption, Family, Farts, Flatulence, Huh?, Humor, Taking Care of Each Other
Eleven on the Eleventh
Just because I love this video:
Filed under Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Huh?, Humor
Yup.
You know how they say one picture is worth a thousand words?
It’s true.
Credit: Tastefully offensive
I found this picture on The Last of the Milleniums today. I often steal stuff from my buddy Father Kane. Not all of them hit quite this close to home, though!
Filed under Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Huh?, Humor, Stupidity
Can Ya Help a Girl Out, Here?
Do you like a cliffhanger?
A story that traps you, makes you want to know what happens next, and then doesn’t tell you?
I hate them. I just hate them. And when you, my bloggin’ buddy do it to me, well, I remember.
A little while ago, I read another damn cliffhanger, this time from Doobster at Mindful Digressions. Doobster wrote half of a really great story. A mystery. His characters are realistic, the scene and plot work. The dialog flows.
UNTIL IT STOPS.
I yelled at him. But he won’t finish it for me.
Would you?
Go on over there to Doobster’s, read it, and tell me what happens. http://mindfuldigressions.com/2015/01/31/i-seen-it-all/
Please leave the comments over there at Doobster’s — he likes his stats. You can also leave them here if you want. I’d turn off comments, but well, I’m not only mystery-plot challenged, I am comment-stopping challenged. Yeah, I know. First World Problems.
Please go and read his story and finish it for me. I gotta know what happens.
Thanks! You’re the best.
FiftyFourandAHalf 