Category Archives: Health and Medicine

An End To Your Pain

As the blogosphere’s most acclaimed fake medical expert, today I am writing to tell you how you can easily and cheaply eliminate your chronic pain.

You’re welcome.

You see, a new study of 1,500 people found that pop music was the most effective pain reliever.  Not classical.  Not Rock.  Not Indie.  Pop music.  Not drugs.

According to this article in an online publication I’ve never heard of before, the best songs to ease your aching back are, in this order:

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

Angels by Robbie Williams

Albatross by Fleetwood Mac

Candle in the Wind by Elton John

Easy by The Commodores

So there you go.   Have a nice, pain free weekend.

You’re welcome.

70 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Health and Medicine, Mental Health, Taking Care of Each Other

Why Should They Get it Better?

The voice inside my head is getting louder and louder.  It has been happening for over three weeks now.  I have to let it out or my head will explode.

It’s not what you think.

I haven’t been trying any of the products I research, or no more than usual.

I haven’t become a schizophrenic hearing demons that chant “kill, kill, kill.”

I haven’t even become a Tea Party member muttering “screw the poor, screw the folks who don’t look like me, don’t touch my Medicare.” Nope.

It’s just my Dad’s voice.  But he won’t shut up.  He keeps on saying:

“For Cryin’ Out Loud, Lease, What Did You Expect?”

It’s no use telling him that I agree with him and that really, I didn’t expect this whole thing to go smoothly.  He was a hard man to beat in an argument before, but since his death it has been absolutely impossible to win an argument with the man.   He’s gone all passive-aggressive on me, the bastard.

But in point of fact, I figured that the roll-out of Obamacare would be just like it has been since October 1.  Full of problems that lead everyone to bang their head on their desk, throw their laptops out the window and threaten bodily harm to anyone who interrupts them when they’re just about done.  I could have told you that before the bill passed either House of Congress, was signed by the President.  I could have told you there would be huge problems even before the Supreme Court deemed it constitutional.

Remember how I am an expert patient?  An expert patient who has had health-and-therefore-insurance issues for 40 years?  I am pretty sure I have fought with each and every single insurance company that has done business in the United States, and a few in Europe.  And this includes the six hours I spent online and on the phone with CareFirst this past Monday trying to figure out the fine details of the two different policies I had to choose from.  The recordings of my running commentary would not be suitable for training purposes.

So really, I think the folks who set up Healthcare.gov  did the folks who qualify for insurance under the Affordable Care Act a favor by having so many problems on the website.

Because they’ve gotten just the first taste of what it’s like to deal with a god damn insurance company.

*     *     *

With heartfelt apologies to my Dad, who was an insurance agent and would have been able to tell everyone that this is exactly what they should have expected.

Apologies also to my favorite live insurance agent, Peg of PegOLeg.com who is probably too busy working on getting folks covered to read this post anyway.

Thanks to both List of X for his two funny posts on the rollout here and here, and Moe of Whatever Works for inspiring me to comment on their blogs and inspired me to write this one.

39 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Criminal Activity, Crohn's Disease, Family, Health and Medicine, Humor

Left vs. Right — You Choose

In the left corner, representing us, we have a true statesperson:  Senator Elizabeth Warner:

When was the last time the anarchy gang called for regulators to go easier on companies that put lead in children’s toys? Or for inspectors to stop checking whether the meat in our grocery stores is crawling with deadly bacteria? Or for the FDA to ignore whether morning sickness drugs will cause horrible deformities in our babies?

When? Never. In fact, whenever the anarchists make any headway in their quest and cause damage to our government, the opposite happens.

    …

Why do they do this? Because the boogeyman government in the alternate universe of their fiery political speeches isn’t real. It doesn’t exist.

 Government is real, and it has three basic functions:
1.    Provide for the national defense.
2.    Put rules in place rules, like traffic lights and bank regulations, that are fair and transparent.
3.    Build the things together that none of us can build alone – roads, schools, power grids – the things that give everyone a chance to succeed.

    …

 We are alive, we are healthier, we are stronger because of government.

And in the other corner, we have John Boehner and the Tea Party Tizziers:

Elections Matter!

*     *     *

My thanks to the Stephen D at the Daily Kos for the video link to Senator Warren (my hero).

And my thanks to one of my favorite blogging buddies, Frank of A Frank Angle for Groucho.

26 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Campaigning, Climate Change, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, Global Warming, Gun control, Health and Medicine, History, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Mental Health, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Voting, Wild Beasts

WHOAH!!!! What happened?!?!

I admit, I’ve been doing a whole lot of this lately

 

Google Image, I'm sure

Google Image, I’m sure

 

But I was surprised how in two months during which I did almost no political posts whatsoever, that the world could have possibly gotten its knickers in a such twist.  Gone end-over-end.  Topsy Turvey.  All akimbo.

Two months ago, my company got two projects that would take us four months each to complete.  Both were due in two months.  Both got done.  I’ve been busy.

And I haven’t been paying attention.  I promise not to let that happen again.

Boy did I miss a whole lot.  I heard that they Congressman Issa cleared up that whole Benghazi thing!  And that Russia kept us out of war in Syria!  Somebody let me know if they admitted we’re doomed because of global climate change, ‘kay?

But the thing that has me most confused?

Apparently the country went from one where the GOP, the Republicans were interested in sticking things into women’s vaginas,

 

Yea, they like to do that.
(Google image)

 

Into one where it’s the proponents of the Affordable Healthcare Act

aka Obamacare — that want to do that!

Really!  Just look’ee here:

 

 

Only this time, they’re not just targeting the womenfolk.  They’re going after all the straight men, too.

 

 

Next, they’ll want to force all employees to wash their hands after using the restroom!

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH (Google)

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!! (Google)

 

*     *     *

 

What sort of people campaign against people getting checkups?  What sort of people promote such ignorance?  What sort of stupid questions am I asking?  Because we all know the answer:

 

The Morally Bankrupt GOP (Google Image)

The Morally Bankrupt GOP
(Google Image)

 

78 Comments

Filed under Campaigning, Climate Change, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Elections, Gizmos, Global Warming, Health and Medicine, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity

Passing Through

It’s a place I’ve tried to avoid since the turn of the millennium.  I pass through there regularly, but I bite my lip, swallow past that huge lump in my throat, and try not to cry.  I do not stop.

That’s because it’s such a lovely place with a huge hole.  Last year that hole got bigger.  Not just for me but for all the folks who love its windy, tree lined roads, its historic houses, its New Englandness.  For all those who love children.  For all those who hate violence.

My sister Judy lived there.  I miss her.

I was forced to go through there.  As we drove north to Maine on Saturday, traffic came to a halt.  I knew the roads from a few decades of driving them.   I took them to get where we were going.  Yes,  we got off the highway, and I wound my way down the streets of Newtown, Connecticut.  Through Sandy Hook.

We stopped for gas at a Mobil station right next to the Blue Colony Diner, where my sister helped me laugh through my troubles thirty years ago.  Where the two of us solved all the world’s problems over coffee and pie.  Where we laughed and cried, but mostly laughed.

On the door of the gas station was a sign that made me cry, too.  But in a different way.

Google

Google

Yes.  Sandy Hook Chooses Love. Love over hate.  Love over violence.  Love over the 2nd Amendment.

And so do I.

 

51 Comments

Filed under Childhood Traumas, Criminal Activity, Driving, Family, Gun control, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, History, Politics, Stupidity