Daily Archives: December 18, 2012

All I Want

For years they’ve irritated me.  Those vile ads.

Around here where I live, there are always a bunch of shiny new cars on the road on Christmas Day.  Lexuses.  Mercedes.  BMW.

It’s so annoying to see the conspicuous consumption.  Folks who, on top of every other luxury they already have or have gotten that morning, need to have a brand, spankin’ new luxury car.  Jeez.

Well, that’s how I felt until today.

Today I’ve decided to jump on the “gimme” bandwagon and demand a new car for Christmas.

Now, there are three problems with my new plan.

First, I don’t know quite how to convince my husband that I’ve changed my mind.  You see for years I’ve been commenting on how disgusting, decadent and indecent it was to expect someone to buy you an expensive car like that.  It’ll be tough, but I’m pretty sure I can convince John of my new found fondness for fenders.  I am quite an actress, you see.

Second, I’m not sure exactly where we’re going to come up with the money.  But it’s never all that tough to come up with $100 K in cool cash around the Holidays, is it?  We can cash in everything for it because I’m worth it.

The third and last problem is the most difficult one.

I’m really not sure how I can drive my current car to the dealership to trade it in without John seeing the enormous dent I decorated it with this evening.

I wonder if I can trade my car in for a used AMC Gremlin.  That’ll impress the neighbors.



Filed under Conspicuous consumption, Driving, Family, Humor, Stupidity, Traffic