Category Archives: Science

November 1, 2012 · 0:00

Please! Say it Ain’t So!

In the in-between time between sleep and being awake I thought I was hallucinating.  Dreaming.  Making shit up.

I had left the TV on in the next room so that I could hear just a little bit of a great MSNBC news show called The Last Word, hosted by Lawrence O’Donnell.

Now Laurence is an amazing guy, actually.  He worked for Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan (one of my all-time favorite Senators) and later for the Senate Finance Committee including during 1986 when they revamped the whole tax code.  He was a writer/creator/producer for that wonderful TV show, The West Wing.  He understands politics from the inside and from the outside.  Lawrence is brilliant and funny and quite often finds interesting quirks in the day’s news.

But what I thought I heard as I drifted between states of consciousness must have been a dream.  It couldn’t be true.  It just couldn’t be.  Then I promptly forgot it, which made me positive that it was just a dream.

Until just now when I bought my lunch and pulled up one of my favorite websites, CrooksandLiars.com to read while I ate.  And I realized that my dream had come true.

Shit.

Mitt Romney really did compare cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy to cleaning the field up after a high school football game.

[Lawrence:]  And to buff his own image as a disaster-relief specialist, Romney compared the Sandy relief effort to … his experience cleaning up the field after a high-school football game. Seriously.

[Mitt:]  I remember once we had a football field at my high school. The field was covered with rubbish and paper goods from people who’d had a big celebration there at the game. And there was a group of us there assigned to clean it up. And I thought, ‘how are we going to clean up all the mess on this football field?’ There were just a few of us. And the person responsible for organizing the effort said, ‘Just line up along the yard lines. You go between the goal line and the 10-yard line, and the next person between the 10 and 20, and just walk down and do your lane. And if everybody cleans their lanes, we’ll get it done.’ And so today, we’re cleaning one lane if you will.

You’ll have to click on the CrooksandLiars post above for the video.  I can’t embed.

Somewhere, deep down inside of me, I thought that perhaps I was wrong about Mitt being an oblivious heartless bastard who believes, along with Annie-poo, that he has suffered.  You remember how bad it was for him and Ann while in college and law/business school because he had to sell some of his stock portfolio and eat tuna while living in a basement apartment.  Perhaps I was missing something in his personality.  Perhaps he isn’t really such a dick.

But no.  I was wrong in being charitable to Mitt.  And (sadly if there is any chance at all of his being elected) I was right – he really is a dick.

Excuse me now.  I have to go find a brick wall to slam my head against.

 

Elections Matter — Please don’t let this guy get into the White House without a tour guide.

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Filed under Campaigning, Childhood Traumas, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Elections, Global Warming, Humor, Hypocrisy, Politics, Real Estate, Sandy, Science, Stupidity, Voting

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October 30, 2012 · 0:00

Back in the Saddle

Hi everybody,

Just wanted to let you know that we were really lucky when Sandy came to visit.  She wasn’t too bitchy around my ‘hood.

Power was out for about 24 hours, but all those trees that were standing Monday morning around my house remain upright.

Thanks to everyone for your good wishes.  Let’s forward all our good thoughts and wishes on to the folks who are really dealing with some serious shit.  Because, as you know:

Blogger karma is awesome!

Good luck to anyone still hangin’ with Sandy, or cleaning up after such a rude guest.  Hope you are all safe.

And if you can, here is a link to the American Red Cross to donate to folks who are gonna need it, cause sometimes karma isn’t enough:

http://www.redcross.org/charitable-donations

48 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Climate Change, Fashion, Global Warming, Health and Medicine, Humor, Neighbors, Real Estate, Sandy, Science

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October 27, 2012 · 0:00

Idiot Wind

Damn it!  My most recent pipe dream has just come crashing down around my ears.

You know, the one where I become a wildly successful, NY Times bestselling novelist because of the incredible stories I make up out of a combination of thin air, personal experience and plagiarism?

Yeah, that dream.

And it came crashing down because I must accept the fact that life is so much more colorful than anything I could make up.  Yup, life is just wayyyyyy more exciting than my stories.   Real life, especially during the runup to an election in the United States is in fact, completely surreal.

So don’t be rushin’ around to the bookstore.  You’ll be disappointed.

What was it that forced reality into my otherwise happy existence?

Naturally, it was something I read.  And while I am still drooling in shock, I am just not quite sure what it all means.  I mean, how will things turn out?  Because you see, I just read, that the women’s vote, which I’ve been counting on to get Obama over the edge, will be determined by where women are in their menstrual cycle.   I had thought that, well, thought might play a role.  But I guess not.

Apparently, it’s true.  It’s been studied!  So it must be right, right?

First of all, you won’t hear me comment on the fact that this study was conducted in Texas.  Nope.  Not one word.  Total and absolute silence on the study’s lone star status.

The study was conducted by Kristina Durante at U of T.

 

Jimmy Durante and Pumpkin

The study presented the results of an internet survey of 502 women with regular menstrual cycles and who were not using hormone-based contraceptives (the pill, the patch and the like).

The researchers found that during the fertile time of the month, when levels of the hormone estrogen are high, single women appeared more likely to vote for Obama and committed women appeared more likely to vote for Romney, by a margin of at least 20%, Durante said. This seems to be the driver behind the researchers’ overall observation that single women were inclined toward Obama and committed women leaned toward Romney.  [Yeah, that’s my emphasis. How could I let you miss that gem?]

That’s ’cause, according to Durante (Kristina not Jimmy), women are feeling sexier, which of course makes them sluttier in my mind or, in Durante’s it makes them:

“lean more toward liberal attitudes on abortion and marriage equality.”

In other important research, Durante has also studied your period’s impact on other vital decisions, like your shopping choices.

When you go to Vote,

Go feeling really slutty —

Vote a Straight Democratic Ticket!

*     *     *

I found this fascinating information on Daily Kos, where I find some of the best stuff.  They found it at CNN!  Yup, CNN, “The Most Trusted Name In News!”  For some reason, though, CNN took down the link.

But here is the link Kos provided.  Cause you really don’t want to miss this one.

You’re welcome.

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Filed under Books, Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Humor, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting

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October 24, 2012 · 0:00

Oh, Now I Get It!

It’s  getting really confusing.

Here’s my problem:

If it is God’s will that  a woman gets pregnant when she’s raped, how do these lady parts that shut down and prevent pregnancy fit in?

You see why I’m confused now, don’t you?

But naturally, Bloggers have saved the day.

Yup, they answered my question.  Illustrated the situation.  And now you too will understand it all.  You’re welcome.

Here is a guide posted on one of my favorite blogs, DailyKos.com  (that’s where I learn all kinds of fascinating things).  I just had to share this illustration so you won’t be confused either.  It was originally posted there by Connecticutie but updated by brainwrap today in light of Richard Mourdock’s comment at last night’s debate.

Understand it now?  Good.  I knew you would.

*     *     *

Full disclosure here.

I am not pro-abortion.  I have never had an abortion, and I recall how when I was young and single that I grappled with the question:  “If I get pregnant, what will I do?”  It was never a question that needed an actionable answer.  I was lucky.  Many others weren’t.

You know, I don’t know or know of anyone who is, actually, pro-abortion, come to think of it.  And you know what?  I think that the moniker “pro-choice” is a poor one.  It’s part of the problem.  It sounds too much like a casual decision.  And of course, it is anything but.  I think that the poor name choice demeans the difficult decision that women, either alone or with their partner or their parent or a caring friend, must grapple with.  Richard Mourdock, Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and the rest of the jokers in the GOP shouldn’t be in on this very personal crisis resolution.

We should call it something else.  But I’ve been  unable to come up with a better name, either.  Maybe that’s why we got stuck with the one we got.

Nevertheless, we fought the battle over abortion 40 years ago.  Forty Fucking Years Ago.  And people who knew that it was better to have it safe and regulated as opposed to done in back alleys under unsanitary conditions at the cost of many women’s lives, well they/we won it.  It happened just over a decade after the first contraceptives were approved for use in the United States.

And of course, the GOP is against contraception, too.

A Romney presidency will basically guarantee that the folks who don’t really understand how human biology works will control all the things we women need to control our reproductive health.  Which, of  course, significantly impacts our economic health as well.

[Hey!  Maybe this is the GOP jobs plan — keep women barefoot and pregnant and out of the workplace!]

Many of these Republicans don’t even quite understand how basic human biology works, but they are willing to legislate it nevertheless.  They don’t actually know when in the, ummm, process, conception occurs and/or how contraception actually occurs.  They don’t understand that oral contraceptives do not prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg but rather prevents the fertilized egg from implanting in the womb. 

So that fertilized egg?  If the GOP has its way, that egg becomes more important than the mother.  Yup.  That’s what the “Personhood” Amendment does.  The one VP Candidate Paul Ryan sponsored along with Senate Candidate Todd Akin.  It gives property rights to fertilized eggs.  Human ones, that is.  They haven’t made any inroads in giving chicken eggs the keys to the henhouse. Yet.

A Romney presidency will guarantee Supreme Court appointments will overturn Roe v. Wade.  Everybody knows that.

And Obama victory will prevent that.  A Democratic Senate will prevent that, too.

But there is more.

In the last 2 years while the GOP has controlled the U.S. House of Representatives, they have passed 55 bills outlawing abortion.  They have passed 0 jobs bills.  Yeah, that’s a ZERO.  A big goose egg (ahem).  And of course, they campaigned on JOBS, JOBS, JOBs! in 2010.  That’s the promise that gave them the House of Representatives.  And then they blocked all bills that would have helped create jobs.

We really need to get rid of these crazies.  We need to get rid of the nutcases, the fanatics that want to control our bodies, eliminate our liberties, stop on our freedoms and who then wrap it in the flag and sing The Star Spangled Banner.

Well, Damn it, that’s my flag too, and my national anthem.  Keep your crazy ass hands off of them both.

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Filed under Campaigning, Childhood Traumas, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Health and Medicine, History, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting

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October 16, 2012 · 0:00

What Cha Been Doin’?

It was about three days before our wedding.  Well, three nights before it, to be specific.  John and I were in bed, and my parents, visiting for a few days before the BIG day were in the guest room where they’d already slept for a couple of nights.

I reached over to cuddle my husband-to-be when suddenly, I stopped.

“John,” I said, stupidly in shock.  “My DAD is in the next room!  He knows!”

“Knows what.”

“That we’re sleeping together.”

“Huh?” he said, sleepily.  Then he cracked up.

Naturally, I felt foolish.  How could I not have realized for the previous two nights that Daddy knew I was in bed wish some guy.  I was so embarrassed.  How would I look at Dad in the morning?  He’d know what we’d been doing.  I was shocked.  The fact that I was about to marry that very guy just didn’t matter.  I hadn’t yet.  Nor had I ever acknowledged that, well, I had done it before.  Slept with him.  (John, of course, not Dad.)

I wore off-white.

“Ummmm, Mornin’ Dad.”
(Google Image)

I was equally shocked a couple of weeks ago, but in the opposite way.

That’s when John and I visited our son Jacob at college.  We were chatting in Jacob’s living room when out of the blue, Jacob asked what we knew about sleep apnea.

“Well, it’s where you suddenly stop breathing while you’re sleeping,” I said.

“Why, are you concerned about it?” John asked.

“A little,” replied Jacob.  “’A’ said I did that.  Apparently I snore sometimes.”

“How would she know?” I asked with a slight smile.

“She heard me that night she slept in the guest room at home,” Jacob responded (without missing a beat).  The guest room is across the hall from Jacob’s room.

I felt much better after he said that.  Because there is only one time you should talk with your children about sex.  And it usually happens when your child is just approaching puberty, and always at an awkward time.

Jacob “popped the question” on me when he was about 9 years old.  We were living in Switzerland, and Jacob and I were in downtown Geneva.  We were in the parking lot at Cornavin, the Geneva train station, which was designed by a pillar-loving gnome who had never seen normal sized cars; Jacob and I were chatting as I backed out of a very tight spot.

Then, without so much as a segue, Jacob said “Mom, Harry told me how babies are made, but I don’t think he got it right.”  Somehow I did not hit a post or a pedestrian while explaining sex to my son.

I was even less ready for the more recent conversation.

It was so casual, so ordinary, so normal.

Well, normal except for the fact that I had to admit that my son is a grown up.  And that he has a girlfriend (whom I adore).  And that he was comfortable talking to me and John about the fact that he was once in bed with her.

Because I’m sure it just happened the once.

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Filed under Hypocrisy, Politics, Science