Category Archives: Bloggin’ Buddies

How I’ll Make My Millions!

Nobody has ever accused me of being on the cutting edge of anything.  But I must say that I have missed some golden opportunities.  In fact, when I first hear about new things, I generally think that whatever it is is stupid.  It’s a trend that began years ago.   If I had invested in some of these things when I first heard of them, well, I wouldn’t be wasting my time blogging — I would be paying someone to write my blog for me.  I’d be that rich.

It was about 1979 when my then-roommate Elizabeth announced her brilliant idea.

“What if they made Coke without caffeine?” she said to me one night after she decided not to have a Coke because she was tired and it would keep her up.

“What would be the point of that?” I responded, no doubt looking at her like she was stupid.

Caffeine-free Coke

OK, so I was wrong.

At the time, Elizabeth was considering going to business school for an MBA.  She would today be a brilliant executive at a Fortune 500 company if only I had been more encouraging.  Instead, she went to medical school and became a psychiatrist.

When CNN first came on, I thought

“Who needs news 24 hours a day?”

CNN

Strike 2

When C-Span began showing House and Senate floor debate, while I was actually working as a lobbyist, well, I couldn’t believe it.

“Who is going to watch that unless they get paid to?  It is sooooooooooooooooo boring!” 

I STILL  think I was right about this one.

I STILL think I was right about this one.

I never had a Walkman.

“I want to listen to the birds when I’m out walking!”

I thought iPods were stupid and besides I could never figure out iTunes.  I still get emails from them and they still haven’t figured out that I hate disco.

Smart phones?  “How stupid.”

But I decided that it is time to capitalize on my knack for thinking huge money makers are stupid.  In fact, I’ve suggested to John that we should invest our retirement savings in the next product I think is completely inane.  It’ll be an uphill battle, though.  He doesn’t trust my investment instincts since I started investing in 72 packs of toilet paper.

But I’m going to see if he’ll go along with me on this invention.  Because I have to admit, it is possibly the stupidest thing I have ever heard of.  We’ll make a bloody fortune.

If I were to wear anti-rape underpants, something would absolutely get into my pants.  But I’m quite sure it wouldn’t be a rapist.  And it wouldn’t come from outside, either.

****

My thanks to Karen at Do Not Get Sick in the Sink for her post on this.

And my thanks to Google, without which my posts would be far less colorful.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Crohn's Disease, Disgustology, Family, Gizmos, Huh?, Humor, Stupidity

An End To Your Pain

As the blogosphere’s most acclaimed fake medical expert, today I am writing to tell you how you can easily and cheaply eliminate your chronic pain.

You’re welcome.

You see, a new study of 1,500 people found that pop music was the most effective pain reliever.  Not classical.  Not Rock.  Not Indie.  Pop music.  Not drugs.

According to this article in an online publication I’ve never heard of before, the best songs to ease your aching back are, in this order:

Bridge Over Troubled Water by Simon & Garfunkel

Angels by Robbie Williams

Albatross by Fleetwood Mac

Candle in the Wind by Elton John

Easy by The Commodores

So there you go.   Have a nice, pain free weekend.

You’re welcome.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Health and Medicine, Mental Health, Taking Care of Each Other

Why Should They Get it Better?

The voice inside my head is getting louder and louder.  It has been happening for over three weeks now.  I have to let it out or my head will explode.

It’s not what you think.

I haven’t been trying any of the products I research, or no more than usual.

I haven’t become a schizophrenic hearing demons that chant “kill, kill, kill.”

I haven’t even become a Tea Party member muttering “screw the poor, screw the folks who don’t look like me, don’t touch my Medicare.” Nope.

It’s just my Dad’s voice.  But he won’t shut up.  He keeps on saying:

“For Cryin’ Out Loud, Lease, What Did You Expect?”

It’s no use telling him that I agree with him and that really, I didn’t expect this whole thing to go smoothly.  He was a hard man to beat in an argument before, but since his death it has been absolutely impossible to win an argument with the man.   He’s gone all passive-aggressive on me, the bastard.

But in point of fact, I figured that the roll-out of Obamacare would be just like it has been since October 1.  Full of problems that lead everyone to bang their head on their desk, throw their laptops out the window and threaten bodily harm to anyone who interrupts them when they’re just about done.  I could have told you that before the bill passed either House of Congress, was signed by the President.  I could have told you there would be huge problems even before the Supreme Court deemed it constitutional.

Remember how I am an expert patient?  An expert patient who has had health-and-therefore-insurance issues for 40 years?  I am pretty sure I have fought with each and every single insurance company that has done business in the United States, and a few in Europe.  And this includes the six hours I spent online and on the phone with CareFirst this past Monday trying to figure out the fine details of the two different policies I had to choose from.  The recordings of my running commentary would not be suitable for training purposes.

So really, I think the folks who set up Healthcare.gov  did the folks who qualify for insurance under the Affordable Care Act a favor by having so many problems on the website.

Because they’ve gotten just the first taste of what it’s like to deal with a god damn insurance company.

*     *     *

With heartfelt apologies to my Dad, who was an insurance agent and would have been able to tell everyone that this is exactly what they should have expected.

Apologies also to my favorite live insurance agent, Peg of PegOLeg.com who is probably too busy working on getting folks covered to read this post anyway.

Thanks to both List of X for his two funny posts on the rollout here and here, and Moe of Whatever Works for inspiring me to comment on their blogs and inspired me to write this one.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Criminal Activity, Crohn's Disease, Family, Health and Medicine, Humor

Left vs. Right — You Choose

In the left corner, representing us, we have a true statesperson:  Senator Elizabeth Warner:

When was the last time the anarchy gang called for regulators to go easier on companies that put lead in children’s toys? Or for inspectors to stop checking whether the meat in our grocery stores is crawling with deadly bacteria? Or for the FDA to ignore whether morning sickness drugs will cause horrible deformities in our babies?

When? Never. In fact, whenever the anarchists make any headway in their quest and cause damage to our government, the opposite happens.

    …

Why do they do this? Because the boogeyman government in the alternate universe of their fiery political speeches isn’t real. It doesn’t exist.

 Government is real, and it has three basic functions:
1.    Provide for the national defense.
2.    Put rules in place rules, like traffic lights and bank regulations, that are fair and transparent.
3.    Build the things together that none of us can build alone – roads, schools, power grids – the things that give everyone a chance to succeed.

    …

 We are alive, we are healthier, we are stronger because of government.

And in the other corner, we have John Boehner and the Tea Party Tizziers:

Elections Matter!

*     *     *

My thanks to the Stephen D at the Daily Kos for the video link to Senator Warren (my hero).

And my thanks to one of my favorite blogging buddies, Frank of A Frank Angle for Groucho.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Campaigning, Climate Change, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, Global Warming, Gun control, Health and Medicine, History, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Mental Health, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Voting, Wild Beasts

The Rule of Law

Let me preface this post by saying this: I get it.

My Dad, whom I adored, was a WWII vet.  I toured European battlefields with him.  I read the history and heard the tales.  I stood on Omaha Beach and looked up the cliffs that those boys had to scale.  I stood on Utah Beach and looked up steeper cliffs and then down them from the top, through the craters left by our bombs.  I have been fascinated by the history of WWII, by the battles.  By the true contest between good and evil that that war represented in my mind.

I get it.  Really.  They are, truly, the Greatest Generation

So yesterday when my blood pressure hit the roof, it wasn’t that I wanted to deny veterans, especially WWII vets, anything.

My first impression when I read that vets from a Mississippi Gulf Coast Honor Flight crossed over the barricades erected because of the government shutdown was:  Good For YOU!

Until, that is, I learned that it was two GOP Congressmen who were responsible for the “storming.”  According to this article, the barricades were moved by a pair of GOP members of Congress, Mississippi Rep. Roger Wicker and Michigan Rep. Bill Huizenga.  Congressman Huizenga proclaimed it the “the best civil disobedience we’ve seen in Washington for a long time.”

And THAT is when my blood boiled.

Not because the Vets got in.  But because the barricades were opened by the very same folks responsible for them being there in the first place.  Once again, GOP members of the House of Representatives were defying the law.  Because they don’t believe it applies to them.

The GOP shut down the government over a temper tantrum has voted to shut it down because the Senate and the President won’t defund the Affordable Care Act.  Obamacare.

I have said this before:

The Affordable Care Act is a law that went through all three branches of our government as established under the constitution.  According to the rules we set up for our Government, adopted in 1791.

Obamacare passed the House of Representatives (Authorized under Article I of the Constitution);

Obamacare passed the Senate. (Also authorized under Article I);

Obamacare was signed into law by the President (Granted that authority under Article II of the very same Constitution); and

Obamacare was upheld by the Supreme Court (Ditto — Article III).

The GOP lost the 2012 election over this issue (in large part).

The very same folks who do not respect the rule of law by accepting the reality of a duly enacted United States Law also do not accept the consequences of their refusal to govern.  THE GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN IS THEIR FAULT ENTIRELY.

They have no respect for the rule of law.  None.  Laws, to them, apparently, should be followed only when they deem it appropriate.  Last night, Michelle Bachmann announced that GOP members will be there to open the barricade to all Vets.  Because the GOP does not respect the rule of law — but does respect a good PR.

Here, thanks to my blogging buddy, Vickie Lester at Beguiling Hollywood, is a list of a few things that happened on the first day of the government furlough

[Yesterday,] two hundred patients were turned away from the NIH, thirty of them children. Most of whom, because of the severity and difficulty of the disease they faced, had been sent to this research facility as a last resort. [This means, of course, that they will die.  And their blood will be on GOP hands.]

Veterans applying for disability benefits could not be helped.

In a week poor women and children will not be fed.

Food safety inspectors have been furloughed.

The New York Times reported on Saturday that fully 16% of ALL workers in the United States work for the Federal Government.  Those percentages are highest, actually, in Republican states.  How long can a huge percentage of the workforce go without pay because of a GOP tantrum.  How long should they?

The list of who is considered “non-essential” goes on and on.   Things are only going to get worse.   Because many businesses rely on those federal workers to buy their products, to eat in their restaurants.

Call your Congressman/woman

 or Any Representative you think should hear from you

Tell them to pass an unencumbered budget

Tell them to open up the Government

The US Capitol Switchboard Number

 202 244-3121

I am borrowing again from Vickie:

A thought from Andrew Sullivan:

I want to begin with a simple quote, a letter from Abraham Lincoln, facing a very similar constellation of forces as president Obama does with today’s nullification party, and sounding remarkably like his 2008 successor from Illinois:

What is our present condition? We have just carried an election on principles fairly stated to the people. Now we are told in advance, the government shall be broken up, unless we surrender to those we have beaten, before we take the offices. In this they are either attempting to play upon us, or they are in dead earnest. Either way, if we surrender, it is the end of us, and of the government. They will repeat the experiment upon us ad libitum.

*     *     *

Thanks to Carrie of The Write Transition for this information:  This Huffington Post link lists the Republicans who are ready to fund the government with no strings attached. Let’s hope it keeps growing. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/10/01/house-republicans-clean-cr_n_4024755.html

As I mentioned to Carrie, though, Peter King (R-NY) is on the list.  He has been preaching a clean Continuing Resolution for days, but keeps voting with the GOP.

So as always, we’ll see.

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Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, Family, History, Huh?, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Stupidity, Taxes, Wild Beasts