Nope. Not Even For This

In 1983, I’d forgotten about Nate’s birthday — my (then) youngest nephew.  He was turning 7 on November 29.  And I hadn’t gotten him anything.

I couldn’t not send him a present.  I couldn’t send his present late, either.  I had a reputation to uphold, hard-earned through a combination of silliness, indulgence and bribery of my sisters’ kids. The favorite aunt.

So bravely, OK, foolishly, I went to ToysRUs on Black Friday that year.  Because I am a damn good aunt.  A saint.

An idiot.

Not me, but the blond woman looks kind of like me.  (Google Image)

Not me, but the blond woman looks kind of like me. (Google Image)


It was a madhouse.  Wall to wall people, shoving each other around to find the latest favorite toy (Cabbage Patch dolls, I think it was that year).  Zillions of people trying to grab things off the shelves, elbows flying, tempers flaring.  I’ve never gone shopping on Black Friday again.  I never will.  Nothing would get me to go.  Nothing.

Unless of course, some store re-runs this sale:

Japanese Department Store

Offers Unusual Deal

Finally, braving the mall makes some sense

On second though, nope.  Not even for this fuckin’ sale.  Or any other fuckin’ sale, for that matter!

Hope you are/were smart enough to stay home!



My thanks to Toby of Dumbass News for  reminding me of this sign.

(Happy Birthday Nate!)


Filed under Adult Traumas, Bat-shit crazy, Birthday, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Family, History, Holidays, Huh?, Humor, Mental Health, Mysteries, Stupidity

59 responses to “Nope. Not Even For This

  1. No one understands how hard it is and the responsibility involved in being the favourite Aunt. You are a trooper even trying boxing day once. Of course now you have the trauma scars you can always cash in with your nephew.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. aFrankAngle

    A good aunt had to do what a good aunt had to do. … but I’ll stop there.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Amen! You will never find me setting foot in a store on Black Friday. I hate the correlation between Christmas and Consumption. Let’s all stay home and give money to our favorite charities.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Ha, that sign is great. But not great enough to get me out on Black Friday either. I prefer avoiding anything that might net me a concussion or broken bone. Or get me trampled…

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I love Black Friday because it’s a rare opportunity for me to sit back and feel superior to the rest of society. My self-esteem is usually dialed-in at around 4, but after watching these idiots I feel a lot better about myself. It’s the same reason why I like to visit the casinos in Atlantic City.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. I’m from Canada but we have the sale here too. I went shopping with Mr. Gibber in a blizzard yesterday to avoid shopping today. I stayed home!

    Liked by 1 person

  7. I’ve done Black Friday for the past 20+ years — I’m pretty much a pro. But this year, I just couldn’t muster up the energy or enthusiasm. Since I’m planning on making jewelry for most of the people on my list, it just didn’t make sense this time around. I REALLY enjoyed sleeping in until 10am and hanging out in my jammies all day today!


    • You and a couple of other are testament to the “Different Strokes” reality of life. With chronic health issues, I get really tired shopping on a normal day. The craziness I just cannot do! Glad you had a nice jammies day — I had to work ;( .


  8. I ventured out on Black Friday this year only because I was off work and needed a haircut, badly. The salon is nowhere near the Mall, so getting there was OK, and I figured it was better than taking a fake sick day sometime in the next couple of weeks. On the way back, I thought I would stop by the department store two blocks from my house, but one look at that parking lot and the street beside it, and I just kept on going. Whatever I was going to look for I can just order online!

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I have never gone shopping on Black Friday. If I did, it would most likely be the event that pushed me over the edge to insanity. First, I can’t stand shopping on normal days. Second, I can’t stand lines. Third, I can’t stand the vast consumerism of our society. So, what does Black Friday do — combine all of those things into one hellish day. Nope. Not for me. As long as I have known my wife, she has gone shopping with her sister on Black Friday. I’ll never understand why. Last year, as stores announced they would open Thursday night, my son went out shopping with his girlfriend and her family. We expressed our disappointment that he was taking part in this event that meant yet more people would have to work on Thanksgiving and not be home with their families. Of course, this year, as 8:00 hits, suddenly my wife announces she’s going shopping … because, you know, there are a few “doorbuster” items she could get for gifts for a couple of her family members. She went with our other son. There’s no way I’m going shopping this time of year.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I’m not much of a shopper normally. But this is crazy.

      And you’re right. Retailers should be allowed a day off too! Hope you’re having a nice relaxing day!


  10. Deborah the Closet Monster

    I dislike shopping on even the best of days, and this? It’s as far from the best of days as it’s possible to get!

    A and I were considering doing some Small Business Saturday shopping, but are in the kind of place where the only small business we’ll probably want to visit is the cupcake shop. Oooooh, yeah.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I believe it would be nearly impossible for me to resist a Fuckin’ Sale. I am sorry I would have to take my camera and go see what in Hades this was, then I would have to take pictures.

    I haven’t been out on Black Friday in years. Today I will brave it, but only to my favorite Grocery store. That is all. I need food for tomorrow and I don’t believe the grocery will be to dangerous.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. The things I learn on the blogs. Just today, I find out that it is also “Buy Nothing Day.” Which has been around since 1992. Huh. And now here, I learn that Black Friday has been around since 1983 or earlier! The first I heard of it was when that poor person was trampled to death at WalMart.

    I’m like you. I rarely go to a mall and NEVER during a seasonal event.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Took my mother one time — just once. Like you, it cured me from the desire to ever, and I mean ever, want to repeat. Yikes! Completely ruined the lovely holiday we had all just had the day before, giving thanks and being grateful, just to wind up pushed, shoved, annoyed, and aggravated.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Exactly! Although since I do all the cooking, the day after Thanksgiving I am completely exhausted. So I never have the energy any more! And I never did have the desire after that one time.

      Liked by 1 person

  14. I did all my shopping on Amazon. I worked too many Black Fridays. I’m not going to be on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I can certainly understand that! Last year Jacob was working at Victoria’s Secret and he had to start work at 4 am! That is not what a healthy young man should be doing with underwear at that time of day!

      Liked by 1 person

  15. merbear74

    No way, no how. Never!

    Liked by 1 person

  16. Being the favorite aunt is a serious job. I reckon you did what you were supposed to do. I may go to Hobby Lobby to check out sales. If I don’t, no big deal. Cyber Monday is more along my speed.


  17. Sometimes you have to go to battle. It it’s for a child, the reason is good. I used to stand on every line to get my nieces that special item. Now all they want is gift cards and I couldn’t be happier!


    • Yes, it was worth it. But as I said to Art, I would have been so much happier if I’d remembered ahead of time!

      I have mixed feelings about gift cards. I love the ease of them — but I really do like finding something new or different or fun for the little guys. My son, now 23, just wants money. THAT is boring!


  18. You did it for a kid, and that’s awesome.


  19. We have the best incentive for not going to the sales…… NO MONEY! Ha 😀


    • Well, while I’m glad you didn’t get mauled at the mall, I hope you do end up staying home next time with a bit of cash in your pocket — because you deserve it for finding the silver lining!

      Liked by 1 person

  20. Haha, what IS that fuckin’ sale sign all about? People turn NASTY for a bargain don’t they. Why do I feel the need to capitalise one word in EVERY sentence.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. meandcoffeefairy

    Perspective is everything, as you say you are the Favorite Aunt, my oldest sister held that title up to her death two years ago this month. My blog is in her memory, and today like she had done for year after year, I went shopping today for gifts for other’s and shared what to me was a great adventure. I actually enjoyed being in a line for 90 minutes, and for all the bad people, there were outnumbered 99 to 1, better odds then church I would say. My wife collects money owed for loans, every end of month is like Boxing Day, Black Friday or any other too damn busy day, its all in how you look at the situation. Today was my first time in years going, maybe I just had my sister’s spirit of giving to overlook all the hustle and bustle of today, it was fun after all.

    Liked by 1 person

    • I am so very sorry you lost your sister. I can empathize — I’ve lost both of my sisters and I do know it is hard. So very very hard.

      Your comment on the shopping leads me to think that there really are different strokes for different folks! I don’t have the patience, but it is good for retailers that there are people like you who do. I’m glad you had fun — just don’t ever invite me!


      • meandcoffeefairy

        Yes, I have lots of patience, growing up five sister it was a life saving skill. It’s ok to disagree on things, and you got a deal, I will not invite you do things like watch a pole all night hoping a fish will bite, while the bugs are eating you alive.

        Liked by 1 person

  22. I am so glad we didn’t used to have Black Fridays! Now they’re creeping up here too! But you will never find me shopping! Our big shopping day was Boxing Day (the day after Christmas). One year I had to work Boxing Day in a fur coat & leather store – the worst day of my life! The owners marked everything down at least 50% & the women were literally pulling things out of my hands as I was trying to re-stock shelves. I made up my mind right then & there I would never participate in making some poor store clerk’s day so horrible!

    Liked by 1 person

    • Oh no — something else for you Canadians to blame us for! But I find it odd that you start your holiday shopping the day after a national holiday in another country!

      Your experience sounds awful!


  23. No, no, no, and NO. Haven’t been to a mall in YEARS, and as for Black Friday consumerism-driven-insanity? Not a fuckin’ chance. Nope. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Paul

    No! Not another one of those Fuckin’ Sales! They’re everywhere (although no one actually calls them that). ha! Fun post Elyse – you couldn’t get me into a shopping mall on Friday if you had a gun.

    Happy Turkey Day!

    Liked by 1 person

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