In 1983, I’d forgotten about Nate’s birthday — my (then) youngest nephew. He was turning 7 on November 29. And I hadn’t gotten him anything.
I couldn’t not send him a present. I couldn’t send his present late, either. I had a reputation to uphold, hard-earned through a combination of silliness, indulgence and bribery of my sisters’ kids. The favorite aunt.
So bravely, OK, foolishly, I went to ToysRUs on Black Friday that year. Because I am a damn good aunt. A saint.
An idiot.
Not me, but the blond woman looks kind of like me. (Google Image)
It was a madhouse. Wall to wall people, shoving each other around to find the latest favorite toy (Cabbage Patch dolls, I think it was that year). Zillions of people trying to grab things off the shelves, elbows flying, tempers flaring. I’ve never gone shopping on Black Friday again. I never will. Nothing would get me to go. Nothing.
Unless of course, some store re-runs this sale:
Japanese Department Store
Offers Unusual Deal
Finally, braving the mall makes some sense
On second though, nope. Not even for this fuckin’ sale. Or any other fuckin’ sale, for that matter!
Hope you are/were smart enough to stay home!
*****
My thanks to Toby of Dumbass News for reminding me of this sign.
(Happy Birthday Nate!)
FiftyFourandAHalf 