Tag Archives: Bad days

Go Fish

Did you play “Go Fish” as a child?  Of course you did.  Remember how wonderful it felt when you could shout out:

“I Got What I Asked For!”

How’s it feelin’ long about now?  Because many folks got exactly what they asked for by electing folks to government who don’t believe in Government.  What did they get?

A Defunct Government.

From Dailykos.com

From Dailykos.com

And now the House GOP, it a temper tantrum has voted to shut it down because the Senate and the President won’t defund the Affordable Care Act.  Obamacare.

That is a law that went through all three branches of our government as established under the constitution.

Passed by the House of Representatives (Authorized under Article I of the Constitution);

Passed by the Senate. (Also authorized under Article I);

Signed into law by the President (Granted that authority under Article II of the very same Constitution); and

Upheld by the Supreme Court (Ditto — Article III).

The GOP lost the 2012 election over this issue (in large part). [Yes they did.  The House retained the majority because of gerrymandering.  They lost the popular vote.]

Parts of Obamacare became effective long ago.  The part that allows us to keep our kids on our policies until they’re 26, for example.  Great provision, isn’t it?

THE REST OF IT GOES INTO EFFECT TODAY IN SPITE OF THE SHUTDOWN.

So they are doing all of this for nothing.  Except for show.

Sums Up the GOP nicely, don't you think? (Photo:  NY Daily News)

Sums Up the GOP nicely, don’t you think?
(Photo: NY Daily News)

I saw the perfect description of what they are doing in a column by Michael Tomasky:

Republicans Aren’t Hostage Takers, They’re Political Terrorists

Because if they win, they will do it again and again.

Vote out folks who

(1) do not understand how our government works; and

(2) do not believe that there really is a point to having a government; and

(3) think that by stamping their feet long and hard enough, they can erase the results of elections.

Elections matter.  Vote the GOP OUT.

43 Comments

Filed under Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, History, Huh?, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Taxes

A Fiery Mystery in Maine

Dum Dum Dum, Dump Dump Da Dom

Dum Dum Dum Dump Da Dom

Storm Clouds Comin' In

Storm Clouds Comin’ In

There are some songs that shouldn’t leave the shower.

There are some songs you just don’t want to have stuck in your head.

There are some songs that you just don’t want to have become part of your life.

 

Smoke on The Water is one of them.

Our little retirement/vacation cottage in Maine caught fire in July.  Spontaneously combusted.  Burst into flame for no reason anybody has ever figured out.

We weren’t there.  Nobody was there, luckily.

Even more luckily, it burned just a little bit.  The nice part, naturally.  Not the kitchen which I would have been happy to replace.  Not the bathroom that has pink 60s tiles with cute pink fishies.  Nope.

The nice part by the living room burned – the picture window that overlooks my masthead and “No Point.” [That’s the bit of land in the picture that looks like the first point.   John dubbed it “No Point” because from our angle it looks like a little point, but it isn’t a point at all.]

Interior ceiling

And even more luckily, it happened at lunch time, when a guy who was renting a cottage across the cove was relaxing outside with a sandwich, noticed smoke and called the fire department.  The fire chief, a volunteer, was working construction two doors down.  He arrived within minutes and the damage was kept down to mere pain in the ass status, as opposed to total devastation.  So we are lucky.  Very lucky.

Volunteer Firemen -- Risking their lives

Volunteer Firemen — Risking their lives

Nobody can figure out what happened.  There were no bad wires, no combustibles in the attic.  No evidence of vandalism.  Nada.  A flamin’ mystery.

Danielle exterior roof

We are still trying to find the person who reported it, so we can thank him.  He was renting a house across the way, and we don’t yet know who he was or how we can get in touch with him.

So John and I up here in Maine, looking at a different angle, trying to get work going on our house.  And saying thank you to a whole lot of folks.

Special thanks to the firefighters who arrived so quickly and saved our cute little place.  And to the mystery man who saw it and saved it.

Huge thanks also Doug and Renee, who have done so much in the immediate aftermath and ever since.

To Danielle and to Ella for breaking the bad news.  To Annette and Danielle for the pictures.

Thanks to Bill and Ken and the other insurance folks who are helping us rebuild.

And I’m thanking my lucky stars that it wasn’t worse.

 

56 Comments

Filed under Huh?, Maine, Music, Mysteries

Letting Go

It promised to be a glorious day, and magically, I woke up early.  I snuck out of bed without waking John, grabbed some clothes and went quietly to the living room.  I opened the shutters and looked out to see the slightest bits of pink light starting to color the sky outside.  Dawn was just breaking, and it looked to be a beautiful start.

“Wanna take a walk?” I asked Cooper, my year-and-a-half old Springer Spaniel.

Cooper wagged his tail, and headed towards the door.  We grabbed his leash, my red jacket, and headed out into the morning.

And the morning was glorious.  A November morning.  Indian Summer, if there can be Indian Summer in Switzerland where there never were too many Indians.

We lived in the midst of dog and dog-lovers’ heaven.  Our tiny house was located on the outskirts of a small village 20 minutes outside of Geneva, Switzerland in farm country.  Our chalet looked just like a cuckoo-clock, and it stood as the last clock on a rural lane in what looked like a display of seven cuckoo-clock houses.  Across the dirt road from the clocks were farm fields.  The fields crossed the road to the left of our house and went on and on.  Wheat, corn, hay, sunflowers, rape seed.  The fields sloped gently down and gave way to vineyards and apple orchards until the hills gently ended at the town of Nyon and Lake Geneva.  The Alps, with Mont Blanc, the highest peak in the Alps, rose above the Lake and the other mountains, as if placing its arms around the gang of mountains it hung out with.

Not a bad location

Not a bad view*
(I’m pretty sure this is one of my pictures.)

Magestic.  Magical.  Make-your-heart-sing-like-Julie-Andrews-beautiful.

It was about 5:30 when Cooper and I headed out.  We crossed the busy road that ran to the left of our house, and I let him off the leash.  It was getting lighter, and I walked and watched my dog run, both of us smiling.  He’d run a bit, then come back to check on me and run off once again.

Springer Spaniels are expressive dogs – their sad looks can melt your heart.  But when they run, they embody joy.  Pure and simple joy.   And on that morning, Cooper ran with abandon through harvested corn fields that we passed first.  His ears flapped and happiness spread across his face as he ran and jumped over cornstalks and literally ran circles around me in his delight.

We continued on the straight farm road that paralleled the Lake, passed fallow fields to where the road turned at a right angle and led us downhill towards the lake.  By now, it was lighter — I could just start to make out Nyon Castle in the distance, although it was so far away that if you didn’t know it was there, you really couldn’t see it.   The road crossed another farm road, and so we turned to the right again to continue on our normal loop that would lead us home, after a walk of about 2-1/2 miles.  It was full morning, now; the sun glistened on Lake Geneva, the snow topped peaks and me and Cooper.

Up ahead on the left and right were fields of grass that would soon be harvested for hay.  Cooper ran ahead and disappeared into the tall grass.  I watched as the grass parted, showing me just where he was and how far he’d run.

But then I noticed a second line where the grass was parting for somebody else.  Or something  else.  Whatever it was, it was heading straight towards Cooper.

Possibly the best way to describe Cooper would be as a fur-covered marshmallow.  Everything inside — good and sugary.   As a soft, squishy, completely sweet thing, Cooper didn’t  understand aggression.  Somehow it all worked out though – aggressive dogs never attacked or bothered him.  Cooper wanted to play, and his playfulness was infectious.  Even the most aggressive dogs found him endearingly stupid; and they always played with the sweet dope.

Still, when frightened, Cooper became a complete coward.  If something frightened him, well, Cooper would run to me and hide behind my legs.  Or behind John’s legs or later, behind  Jacob’s.  An all-inclusive coward, he’d hide behind us one and all.

So when the two paths in the grass converged, I wasn’t surprised at all to see Cooper come springing out, his face the picture of delight.  He had a new friend, and was running towards me to share the good news.

There are some friends you just shouldn’t introduce to your mother.  This was one.

Cooper had met a wild boar.  An enormous, wild f’ing boar.

Google Image

Google Image

She came out of the grass, and stopped in the middle of the road and stood there, all 250 pounds of her.  She strutted her impressive bulk and looked from side to side.

I stood there, frozen, my mouth agape.  I watched her breathe, knowing that I was unlikely to remember this meeting fondly.

I could see the sun touch the edges of her coarse, bristled fur where it was lighter than the part that came out of her back or side or anywhere else on her 250 pounds or so of solid flesh.

I could hear her breathing from about 75 feet away, as I backed up slowly.  She breathed in and out, sometimes through her snout, and sometimes in wet breaths through her lips, which flapped occasionally.  She breathed loudly.

I could smell her.  She needed a bath.  Or a run through a field of lavender, preferably in France.

SHIT!

We had been warned about wild boar, but in spite of long twice daily walks through the fields, we had never seen hide nor hair nor bristle; we didn’t worry.  Cooper was delighted with his new friend.  And he rushed over towards me to tell me so.  I wasn’t so easily smitten.

Wild boars do not like dogs, they are known to attack and kill them.  They aren’t fond of people, either.  And rumor has it they aren’t terribly playful.  And I wasn’t anxious to turn my lovely morning walk into a learning experience, either.

I looked over in the direction of the house and suddenly realized something extremely important:

It’s a long crawl home.

“Cooper, Come!”  I shouted, stupidly, automatically.

In fact, I was not sure I really wanted him to come to me.  Would I take on a wild boar to save my dog?  Not if I thought about it logically.  But then logic really has very little room in the brain of a dog-lover.  Of course I would have taken on a wild boar to save my younger, dumb son.  And of course, I would have lost.  Especially since, in looking about, I realized that we were in the middle of a farm field and there wasn’t so much as a protective twig in sight.  Damn the compulsively tidy Swiss.

I did not want to be wild boared.

Cooper, oblivious to the danger he was dancing around, he kept going up to the boar, prancing in front of her, running in circles around her, begging her to chase him, just like his doggy pals did.

“Come on, play!” he was obviously saying.

“Go away,” she was clearly thinking as she aimed a cold, bored glare at him.

I was pretty sure that if she chased him, it wouldn’t be to play.  And then naturally, Cooper would panic, not know what to do.  Oh who am I kidding – Cooper’s first and only though would be “MOM!”  and he would run and hide behind me.  And the boar would kill me, an innocent bystander.

I looked at my red jacket, glad I had worn that one so that they could find my crumpled, maimed, boar-ed body more easily.

“Dammit, Cooper, Come!  Now!” I said more softly, trying to get him to leave her alone.

Nobody ever listens to me.

Cooper ran away from the boar towards me at last, but then he turned and ran back to her, again, circled around wagging his tail furiously, still trying to get her to play.

But suddenly, the situation changed.  “Cooper, Come.  Now!” I screamed it this time.

Because the boar had turned her head.  She was now looking at me.

Naturally, Cooper ran around her again and fortunately she forgot about me in her irritation at the stupid dog.  The boar, who seemed to have finally caught her breath, looked at Cooper like he was her pesky little brother.  She shook her head once more, dismissive of the pest, and continued on her way uphill through the grass field.  The grass separated as she pushed her way through.

Cooper came back to me, defeated, deflated, rejected.  He looked sad in that tearful, long-eared way only a Springer spaniel can have.  My boy’s feelings had been hurt.  I was glad it had only been his feelings.

*    *    *

Cooper loved those fields, where he could cavort in relative safety, where he could run free, with his ears flapping.  Doggy Heaven.  Of course, it really didn’t matter where he was, Cooper was happy wherever he was, as long as John, Jacob and I were there with him.

Today, that’s where Cooper is  —  in doggy heaven.  I am sure that he is back in the fields near Gingins, Switzerland.  Running with unrestrained joy, looking out over Lake Geneva and Mont Blanc and the Alps.   He’ll have his young dog body back, with no aches, pains or problems.

I hope he doesn’t run into any wild boars, though.  Because it’ll be a while before John, Jacob or I will join him.  For a while, there’ll be nobody for Coops to hide behind.

The Boys in the Jungfrau Region of Switzerland

The Boys in the Jungfrau Region of Switzerland

Cooper

March 9, 1998 – August 13, 2013

*   *   *

To vote for this story in BlogHer, please go to:  http://www.blogher.com/node/1393485/voty?category=VOTY%20-%20Heart%3A%20Feel%20it.  Thanks!

281 Comments

Filed under Cooper, Dogs, Freshly Pressed, Geneva Stories, History, Humor, Pets, Wild Beasts

Eggscruciating Mistakes

Normally, I like to wait until about noon to face the day’s failure.  FailureS.

In fact, I try to put this knowledge off as long as possible.  Some days I wait to learn what I’ve done wrong until it’s time to leave the office when I realize all the things I’ve forgotten to do.  Usually with someone chasing me to the elevator saying “did you … ?”

Other times, helpful drivers point out my driving failures with a finger gesture on my way home.

On yet other days, I wait until I get home, where my husband, son, dog or the resident birds and squirrels can chip away at my self-esteem.

Not today.

Nope.

Today, since I woke up early (and learned that I picked the wrong lottery numbers by mistake), I treated myself to a nice breakfast.  Eggs!  And as I sat down to enjoy their yellow, fluffy goodness, I realized that I was a total failure.  I made mistakes cooking my eggs.

It’s true.  Huffington Post told me so — during my second bite, when I clicked on this article:

9 Mistakes You’re Making With Scrambled Eggs

Apparently I am easily satisfied because mine tasted great.  But who am I to know? Photo:  Google, of course.

Apparently I am easily satisfied because mine tasted great. But who am I to know?
Photo: Google, of course.

My own misteggs caught in my throat on the second bite.

It’s going to be a bad day.

101 Comments

Filed under Criminal Activity, Diet tips, Driving, Family, Humor

Of Mice and, ummm, something else with an “M”

Years ago, Miss Barbara on Romper Room taught me to “Turn That Frown Upside Down!” when I was sad or angry.  Of course I was sad and angry every time I watched Romper Room because not once did Miss Barbara see an “Elyse” in her magic mirror.

She should have seen me in that damn mirror.  I was a good kid.  (Google Image)

She should have seen me in that damn mirror. I was a good kid. (Google Image)

 

Oops.  Sorry.  That isn’t what this post is about.

I’ve actually found over the years that for the normal level of bummed-out-ness, turning my frown upside down (TMFUD) is quite an effective anti-depressant.  It is even more efficacious when combined with a walk and/or singing.  If I TMFUD while walking and singing, I am a happy camper.  (Of course the other folks around me might not be quite so smiley.)

As I got older though, I found that TMFUD was less effective against the bigger things that life threw at me.  I needed something approaching “schadenfreude,” which, as you know, is taking pleasure in others’ misfortune.

Now, I don’t think that I ever really – even to this day – actually take pleasure in someone else’s misfortune.  I’m somewhat nicer than that.

But I do like to look at someone else’s troubles and balance them against my own.  Then I am much more willing to keep my own.  And I feel immensely relieved.

In the early 1980s, neither my sister Judy nor I were, umm, living the high life.  Life was one crisis after another for both of us.  I was sick and poor.  She was a young mother –that wasn’t the bad part — with no education, no prospects, and a shaky relationship with her husband.   She was also poor.

Her problems always seemed worse than mine, and she felt the same way about my troubles.   It made us content with our own struggles.  So, being sisters, we made our respective miseries and misfortunes something of a contest.

I called Jude one day with bad news about the state of my health and she stopped me before I’d gotten the “woe” out in “woe is me.”  Bitch.

“This morning,” Judy announced, “I woke up and went downstairs to make coffee.”  I could picture her standing with one hand on her hip, taking a drag from her cigarette.  “And do you know what happened as I walked across the cold floor in my bare feet?”

I knew it wasn’t going to be good.

“I stepped in mouse intestines — in my bare feet!”  Judy’s cat, Izzy, a prolific hunter, had brought home some spoils for the family.  “Nobody’s should start the day with mouse intestines between their toes.”

Google Image

Google Image

Judy was right — no day should start that way.  And that was when I co-opted the motto for my life:

Life is Good*

* As long as you don’t have mouse intestines between your toes.

I’ve never seen that Tee-shirt in the series.  I think they need to expand.

Anyway, sadly Judy is gone, and I’d kind of forgotten about my motto.

In the last six months while I’ve been under the weather, not having Judy’s misfortunes to compare mine to made feeling crappy much crappier.

But today I stumbled across a story that inspired me, just the way my sister Judy used to.  It made me feel that somebody is worse off than me.  And it made me glad that I have my own troubles, and not this woman’s.

Today I read a story about a woman whose situation makes me squirm.

A story that made me realize that things for me really aren’t so bad.

A story that turned my frown upside down.

It was an article about an unfortunate woman who, while vacationing in Peru, had a bit of bad luck.  A horn of plenty, running over with misfortune.  A veritable ear full of it.

A British woman returned from a holiday in Peru hearing scratching noises inside her head was told she was being attacked by flesh-eating maggots living inside her ear.

 Ewwwwwwww.

They aren't all this cute. (Google image, natch)

They aren’t all this cute.
(Google image, natch)

Those Tee-shirt guys need to snap this motto up fast.  Because really:

Life is good*

*As long as you don’t have flesh-eating maggots inside your ear.

Well, maybe life isn’t so good if you were eating when you read this.  Then, I just bet, life could be better.

71 Comments

Filed under Climate Change, Conspicuous consumption, Family, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Humor, Science