Category Archives: Stupidity
Not too far!
Please! Say it Ain’t So!
In the in-between time between sleep and being awake I thought I was hallucinating. Dreaming. Making shit up.
I had left the TV on in the next room so that I could hear just a little bit of a great MSNBC news show called The Last Word, hosted by Lawrence O’Donnell.
Now Laurence is an amazing guy, actually. He worked for Senator Daniel Patrick Moynihan (one of my all-time favorite Senators) and later for the Senate Finance Committee including during 1986 when they revamped the whole tax code. He was a writer/creator/producer for that wonderful TV show, The West Wing. He understands politics from the inside and from the outside. Lawrence is brilliant and funny and quite often finds interesting quirks in the day’s news.
But what I thought I heard as I drifted between states of consciousness must have been a dream. It couldn’t be true. It just couldn’t be. Then I promptly forgot it, which made me positive that it was just a dream.
Until just now when I bought my lunch and pulled up one of my favorite websites, CrooksandLiars.com to read while I ate. And I realized that my dream had come true.
Shit.
Mitt Romney really did compare cleaning up after Hurricane Sandy to cleaning the field up after a high school football game.
[Lawrence:] And to buff his own image as a disaster-relief specialist, Romney compared the Sandy relief effort to … his experience cleaning up the field after a high-school football game. Seriously.
[Mitt:] I remember once we had a football field at my high school. The field was covered with rubbish and paper goods from people who’d had a big celebration there at the game. And there was a group of us there assigned to clean it up. And I thought, ‘how are we going to clean up all the mess on this football field?’ There were just a few of us. And the person responsible for organizing the effort said, ‘Just line up along the yard lines. You go between the goal line and the 10-yard line, and the next person between the 10 and 20, and just walk down and do your lane. And if everybody cleans their lanes, we’ll get it done.’ And so today, we’re cleaning one lane if you will.
You’ll have to click on the CrooksandLiars post above for the video. I can’t embed.
Somewhere, deep down inside of me, I thought that perhaps I was wrong about Mitt being an oblivious heartless bastard who believes, along with Annie-poo, that he has suffered. You remember how bad it was for him and Ann while in college and law/business school because he had to sell some of his stock portfolio and eat tuna while living in a basement apartment. Perhaps I was missing something in his personality. Perhaps he isn’t really such a dick.
But no. I was wrong in being charitable to Mitt. And (sadly if there is any chance at all of his being elected) I was right – he really is a dick.
Excuse me now. I have to go find a brick wall to slam my head against.
Elections Matter — Please don’t let this guy get into the White House without a tour guide.
Idiot Wind
Damn it! My most recent pipe dream has just come crashing down around my ears.
You know, the one where I become a wildly successful, NY Times bestselling novelist because of the incredible stories I make up out of a combination of thin air, personal experience and plagiarism?
Yeah, that dream.
And it came crashing down because I must accept the fact that life is so much more colorful than anything I could make up. Yup, life is just wayyyyyy more exciting than my stories. Real life, especially during the runup to an election in the United States is in fact, completely surreal.
So don’t be rushin’ around to the bookstore. You’ll be disappointed.
What was it that forced reality into my otherwise happy existence?
Naturally, it was something I read. And while I am still drooling in shock, I am just not quite sure what it all means. I mean, how will things turn out? Because you see, I just read, that the women’s vote, which I’ve been counting on to get Obama over the edge, will be determined by where women are in their menstrual cycle. I had thought that, well, thought might play a role. But I guess not.
Apparently, it’s true. It’s been studied! So it must be right, right?
First of all, you won’t hear me comment on the fact that this study was conducted in Texas. Nope. Not one word. Total and absolute silence on the study’s lone star status.
The study was conducted by Kristina Durante at U of T.
Jimmy Durante and Pumpkin
The study presented the results of an internet survey of 502 women with regular menstrual cycles and who were not using hormone-based contraceptives (the pill, the patch and the like).
The researchers found that during the fertile time of the month, when levels of the hormone estrogen are high, single women appeared more likely to vote for Obama and committed women appeared more likely to vote for Romney, by a margin of at least 20%, Durante said. This seems to be the driver behind the researchers’ overall observation that single women were inclined toward Obama and committed women leaned toward Romney. [Yeah, that’s my emphasis. How could I let you miss that gem?]
That’s ’cause, according to Durante (Kristina not Jimmy), women are feeling sexier, which of course makes them sluttier in my mind or, in Durante’s it makes them:
“lean more toward liberal attitudes on abortion and marriage equality.”
In other important research, Durante has also studied your period’s impact on other vital decisions, like your shopping choices.
When you go to Vote,
Go feeling really slutty —
Vote a Straight Democratic Ticket!
* * *
I found this fascinating information on Daily Kos, where I find some of the best stuff. They found it at CNN! Yup, CNN, “The Most Trusted Name In News!” For some reason, though, CNN took down the link.
But here is the link Kos provided. Cause you really don’t want to miss this one.
You’re welcome.
Oh, Now I Get It!
It’s getting really confusing.
Here’s my problem:
If it is God’s will that a woman gets pregnant when she’s raped, how do these lady parts that shut down and prevent pregnancy fit in?
You see why I’m confused now, don’t you?
But naturally, Bloggers have saved the day.
Yup, they answered my question. Illustrated the situation. And now you too will understand it all. You’re welcome.
Here is a guide posted on one of my favorite blogs, DailyKos.com (that’s where I learn all kinds of fascinating things). I just had to share this illustration so you won’t be confused either. It was originally posted there by Connecticutie but updated by brainwrap today in light of Richard Mourdock’s comment at last night’s debate.
Understand it now? Good. I knew you would.
* * *
Full disclosure here.
I am not pro-abortion. I have never had an abortion, and I recall how when I was young and single that I grappled with the question: “If I get pregnant, what will I do?” It was never a question that needed an actionable answer. I was lucky. Many others weren’t.
You know, I don’t know or know of anyone who is, actually, pro-abortion, come to think of it. And you know what? I think that the moniker “pro-choice” is a poor one. It’s part of the problem. It sounds too much like a casual decision. And of course, it is anything but. I think that the poor name choice demeans the difficult decision that women, either alone or with their partner or their parent or a caring friend, must grapple with. Richard Mourdock, Todd Akin, Paul Ryan and the rest of the jokers in the GOP shouldn’t be in on this very personal crisis resolution.
We should call it something else. But I’ve been unable to come up with a better name, either. Maybe that’s why we got stuck with the one we got.
Nevertheless, we fought the battle over abortion 40 years ago. Forty Fucking Years Ago. And people who knew that it was better to have it safe and regulated as opposed to done in back alleys under unsanitary conditions at the cost of many women’s lives, well they/we won it. It happened just over a decade after the first contraceptives were approved for use in the United States.
And of course, the GOP is against contraception, too.
A Romney presidency will basically guarantee that the folks who don’t really understand how human biology works will control all the things we women need to control our reproductive health. Which, of course, significantly impacts our economic health as well.
[Hey! Maybe this is the GOP jobs plan — keep women barefoot and pregnant and out of the workplace!]
Many of these Republicans don’t even quite understand how basic human biology works, but they are willing to legislate it nevertheless. They don’t actually know when in the, ummm, process, conception occurs and/or how contraception actually occurs. They don’t understand that oral contraceptives do not prevent the sperm from fertilizing the egg but rather prevents the fertilized egg from implanting in the womb.
So that fertilized egg? If the GOP has its way, that egg becomes more important than the mother. Yup. That’s what the “Personhood” Amendment does. The one VP Candidate Paul Ryan sponsored along with Senate Candidate Todd Akin. It gives property rights to fertilized eggs. Human ones, that is. They haven’t made any inroads in giving chicken eggs the keys to the henhouse. Yet.
A Romney presidency will guarantee Supreme Court appointments will overturn Roe v. Wade. Everybody knows that.
And Obama victory will prevent that. A Democratic Senate will prevent that, too.
But there is more.
In the last 2 years while the GOP has controlled the U.S. House of Representatives, they have passed 55 bills outlawing abortion. They have passed 0 jobs bills. Yeah, that’s a ZERO. A big goose egg (ahem). And of course, they campaigned on JOBS, JOBS, JOBs! in 2010. That’s the promise that gave them the House of Representatives. And then they blocked all bills that would have helped create jobs.
We really need to get rid of these crazies. We need to get rid of the nutcases, the fanatics that want to control our bodies, eliminate our liberties, stop on our freedoms and who then wrap it in the flag and sing The Star Spangled Banner.
Well, Damn it, that’s my flag too, and my national anthem. Keep your crazy ass hands off of them both.
Filed under Campaigning, Childhood Traumas, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Health and Medicine, History, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting
Throne Update
It seems like just the other day when I was telling you about David Siegel in my post Robbin’ a Better Hood.
You know, it was the story of David, the poor billionaire CEO of Westgate Resorts who likes to sit on a golden cherub-encrusted throne. In case you can’t remember, he threatened his employees with termination if Mitt Romney doesn’t become president, if Obama wins and raises his taxes. He also complained about not getting any happy hours.
Oh, it was just the other day!
Well, I’ve learned so much since. And I just gotta share.
You see, I learned that apparently CEO’s are pack animals. And a bunch of other CEOs are doing the same thing to their employees so that they can protect their billions.
At first I was confused. How could so many folks, living high on the hog, come up with the very same idea?
Then I learned just last night that there is a common thread here that, well, I for one would never have guessed.
Because guess who is telling those CEO’s to do that? Guess who is showing his leadership ability by actually getting billionaire CEOs to follow an order? Guess who has the morals and ethics of a crack whore?
[26:30] I hope you make it very clear to your employees what you believe is in the best interest of your enterprise and therefore their job and their future in the upcoming elections. And whether you agree with me or you agree with President Obama, or whatever your political view, I hope, you pass those along to your employees. Mitt Romney, June 6, 2012.
Yup, it’s Mitt. The guy whose team is in favor of voter suppression (heard the one about the Arizona Voter ID cards that were sent out with the wrong date for election date – funny thing, it’s only wrong on the Spanish ones).
Can you say “Watergate?” Can you say “Iran Contra?” Can you say “Tammany Hall?” Are you listening Mitt Romney?
I heard that Ann will be cancelling her next few campaign stops. She’s out shopping for furniture for the Oval Office.
Or maybe they should go on the Truman Balcony.
The view of the peasants is way better from there..
Filed under Awards, Campaigning, Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Elections, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Stupidity, Taxes, Voting
FiftyFourandAHalf 