Maybe I’ve mentioned once or twice that my brother, Fred, was a wonderful big brother. I really don’t exaggerate. If you could have made up the perfect big brother, it would have been Fred. But you probably would have given him a better name.
Fred is 3 years older than me. And he played with me all the time. He didn’t beat me up. He wasn’t mean. He let me tag along wherever he went.
He actually seemed to enjoy my company, too. Or at least, it never occurred to me that he might not be enjoying it. Perhaps I was late in picking up some social clues. Anyway, I can honestly not remember Fred ever hurting me, or setting me up to fail, or doing any mean big brother things to me.
He was my hero. When we tucked towels into our jammies and jumped off the back of the couch, I was not just pretending Fred was Superman. He was Superman. Of course I also thought that our dog, Tip, was SuperDog when we called him “Kripto,” tucked a dishtowel into his collar and pushed him off the back of the couch.
It was during the late 1950s and early 60s; we saw Westerns on TV and in the movies — The Lone Ranger, Branded, How the West Was Won, and more. There were a lot of shoot outs at our house, too, because that’s what we played most of the time. Fred invented great games for us. Cowboys and Indians, gun fights, sheriff and posse.
Fred was always the hero. Me?
I was the bad guy who got outgunned and had to keel over and die.
I was the outlaw brought to justice by the handsome sheriff.
I was the squaw who had to skin and cook the deer.
I always lost.
I felt good that at least I had a better part than Tip. Tip was the deer, and Fred and I would chase him around pretending to shoot him with arrows. Fred and his friends once caught Tip and tied him onto our broom and carried him Indian-style, to roast over our pretend fire. Tip escaped and didn’t want to play Indian for a week or so. We did not eat him.
Losing wasn’t a condition for Fred to play with me, but it was reality. Fred always won. He was always first, fastest, bravest. He was always the hero.
Fred’s pretend horse, Thunder, was faster than my horse, Lightning, even after Fred discovered that in real life lightning comes first. Fred showed me pictures of lightning in “the big dictionary” – a huge reference book we loved to look at. It had the coolest pictures and lots of words we couldn’t read. If something was in the big dictionary, it was fact. Period. “In real life,” Fred said, pointing to a picture of a scary bolt in a stormy sky, “Lightning is faster than thunder. But not with horses.”
I really didn’t mind. If Fred’s horse was slightly faster than mine, that was OK. We were a team.
But one day when Fred wanted to play Cowboys and Indians, I’d had enough of losing. Maybe I was growing up.
“I wanna be the cowboy,” I insisted. “You always get to be the cowboy. I always get shot.”
“OK,” Fred said. He didn’t argue or try to convince me to be the Indian. I should have been suspicious. But I’ve always trusted Fred completely. I knew he would never be mean to me.
“OK,” said Fred, again, thinking up a new game. “You can be a General! I’ll be an Indian, ummmm, I’ll be called Crazy Horse.”
“OK!” I said, excitedly. A General! I wasn’t just cowboy. I was gonna be a general!
I blew my bugle, called my troops to arms. My imaginary troops and I rode off on our stallions to fight the Injuns.
I blew my bugle again and my (pretend) troops surrounded me. We heard Indian war whoops from Fred and his Indian braves. Fred/Crazy Horse and his braves came at me, surrounding me and my men on all sides. But I wasn’t worried. I was a general. And even at that age, I knew that the cowboys always win.
And then Fred shot me.
I did not flinch. I did not fall. I did not succumb to my wounds. I screamed bloody murder:
“I’m the cowboy! You can’t shoot me!
I’M THE GENERAL!”
Fred calmed me down and took me by the hand over to the big dictionary. He turned the pages and showed me a picture of a general in a cowboy hat with blond curls. He looked just like me. Except for the mustache (mine grew in many years later).
George Armstrong Custer.
“That’s General Custer,” Fred said. “Crazy Horse killed him. Or Sitting Bull did. Some Indian killed him at the battle of Little Bighorn. The Sioux Indians surrounded General Custer and his men and killed them.”
If it was in a book, in the big dictionary, well then, I had to die. It was right there in black and white with a color picture. It was my fate.
We went back over to the battlefield (the front hall) and started the battle again. Again, I blew my bugle and rallied my troops into a circle around me. Again, the Indians pressed forward, surrounded us.
Again, General Custer got shot. And this time he/I was brave. I clutched my heart, tossed my curls and fell dead.
* * *
I owe my devotion to the underdog and my tendency to look everything up to my big brother, who is still wonderful. Today, I will be visiting my big brother/hero, coincidentally, so I decided to re-run this post.
Because today, June 25th is the 140th Anniversary of the Battle of Little Bighorn.
And speaking once more as General Custer, I deserved exactly what I got.
Hey, you should read this.
https://waltbox.wordpress.com/2016/07/12/i-want-to-take-away-your-guns/
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That’s exactly how I feel. I can’t wait to see the trolls!
I’m on vacation and have been trying to ignore the world crumbling around me.
Thanks for the link. Should I send the trolls to you? 😏
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That’s how I feel, too. I thought you’d appreciate it. It’s well-stated. No trolls, please. I’m from Ohio.
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Ok. I’ll be nice. This time!
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I’ve been thinking about this post because i used to play cowboys and Indians with my cousins. I even wrote a poem about it that is in my book. The cousin who side I was on became mentally ill when he was in college and he died two years ago from the mental illness (in a roundabout way). We were the Indians. We always lost. But then I read a biography of Crazy Horse, and I was in love with him. I even bought dye for my skin from a catalogy of “Indian supplies” so that I could be Crazy Horse. Not sure how this relates to your story about Fred, long-suffering Tip, and Crazy Horse, but it brought back a lot of memories for me.
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Actually, I think that is possibly the purpose of memoirs. To remind us of others. Who we were. What we did.
So sorry about your cousin.
Fred and I were in the car as wardrobe past a neighbor’s house. On their front porch was an Indian chief in full regalia. We rushed into our house to look for beads to give him so he wouldn’t scalp us. We gave an astonished Indian chief rosary beads
I hope my story brought back happy memories of your cousin.
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Hahaha. It did. He was my favorite cousin on that side. My favorite cousin on each side both, of course, passed away too early.
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Fred, who is visiting with me now, has a very different memory. He says the man was from India. Not American Indian. How funny. Because Ivan picture the chief!
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Hahahahahaha. I had an experience recently with a wrong memory, and it kind of freaked me out. So much so I can’t even remember it right now (must have packed it down in the denial file).
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Are they really wrong or is someone else wrong 😏
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This time I was clearly wrong, but it was the first time ever. I swear it.
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I’m sure too. Positive.
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So sad. Like my sisters. 😕. Sucks.
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He taught while he shot… awesome…
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And he’s poet ….
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there you go
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What a wonderful big brother! I always wanted one of those. All 3 of mine were younger so they were basically just pests.
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He was/is great. And I was the pest, although I didn’t know until I was in high school that that was my role!
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I absolutely love this! My little brother was not so fortunate as you. I should likely call him and apologize.
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As an unrelated aside Elyse I just had a guest post published over at Cordelia’s Mom’s. If you have the time to drop by for a read, I’d be honored. Thank you. https://cordeliasmomstill.com/2016/06/27/quinn-plays-god-guest-post-by-paul-curran/
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Sounds like you’ve got a great big brother…lucky you. Nowadays, one rarely sees kids playing cowboys and indians…is it not PC? By the way, I’ve been to the Battle of the Little Bighorn site and it is overwhelming to think of what went on there.
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A great story. It rings of many things besides just your big brother, but also of an incredible childhood filled with fun, games, and imagination.
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I did have a great childhood. And a few years after this happened we moved to a house near a beach. Life was good …
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A house near a beach??? I hesitate to ask where at risk of my head exploding from envy.
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Westport, Connecticut. It was magical. I fantasize about buying a house in my old neighborhood when I win the lottery!
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I’m a West Coast kid. While I’ve been back East a couple of times, I’ve never made it to the ocean there. I need to, don’t I?
There are places on the West Coast that I could spend the rest of my life in.
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I’m heading up to Maine. You need to see Acadia National Park. Spectacular.
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I definitely want to head to New England at some point in the next few years. I’ll keep Acadia in mind.
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Sounds like you’re just as good a sister as he is a brother. I love mine too. (Although he did pick on me lots as a kid. He’s apologized numerous times.)
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I imagine I was a pest as a kid, but what child doesn’t love his adoring followers? Trouble is, I can’t guilt him into anything! It might come in handy from time to time!
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Did Fred grow up to be a politician? Just wondering, because he was so adept at making you feel good about losing to him all the time. He was a good brother, though – my brothers either ignored me or teased me until I ran crying to Mom.
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Fred grew up to bean artist/art historian/professor. Then he grew tired of starving and became a computer programmer. He has some interest in politics, but less than me!
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It’s great to have a loving brother. I have one too although he was much older. We’ve always been close. I’m also glad that your mustache grew in. Hard to be a cowboy or Indian without one.
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This mustache takes a lot of work. And lots of wax!
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Lucky you, and lucky Fred. Give him a hug for me. I did not fare as well in the older sibs department. There are 4 of them, and, uh… Well. It’s amazing I turned out as well as I did. 🙂
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We were lucky. I’m the youngest of 5 but I lost my two sisters. Our eldest brother is a bit difficult (although we didn’t argue about politics when we were little).
Hope you have good relationships now!
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I do with 2 of them. I guess it’s enough.
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I’ve always been close with Fred. Never been close with our other brother who is much older I was close to both sisters at different times. Life changes relationships!
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Fred was a very clever guy. Sorry about your defeat. I understand what it was like to be the fallen. We played “war” a lot growing up. It was more like a WWII battle for us, in the woods behind our house. My older sister, mean as shit, always was the victor. sigh…
Enjoy your visit, and the fact that you have a great rapport with that older sibling. 💘
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I’m pretty sure “older sibling always wins” is there in the rule book they get when they agree to let us come home from the hospital.
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Ha ha..so many ways to respond.☺Knowing how things turned out for my sister and I, I suspect she’d have left me there if she could have.
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My sister Judy, who died in 2000, was a total bitch/ witch as a kid. She once washed my hair with peroxide when I was 7 or 8! But we grew very close when we grew up. You never know!
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Nice to have a big brother like that. Custer faired much better during the Civil War. Maybe next time you can play Civil War with him, and he has to dress in gray.
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And Custer didn’t die. So he has that going for him if we play in a different time!
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Awesome story Elyse.
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Thanks, Paul. But a 3 word comment? I’m shocked!
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I’m a only child, so I missed out on all that interaction. But my friends and I always played cowboys and Indians and later Germans vs good guys. but it is considered politically incorrect now to play war or even have toy guns. And any “indian”games are right out of the question.
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I think about what my own son missed as a only child but there are also many benefits!
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I am kind of a Custer groupie. Not that I admire him. But I am fascinated by him. When I was a teenager, I found that my hometown library had (in storage, because they were delicate) the books that Elizabeth Custer wrote after he died. The librarian let me read them. So romantic! I’ve read enough historical accounts to have come up with my own (or at least partially my own) theory of why Custer let himself be drawn into the trap of the Little Big Horn. He was 35 – just old enough to run for President. He was wildly popular. I think he thought he would rack up one more big victory and throw his fancy hat into the ring. It didn’t exactly work out like he thought.
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There probably aren’t too too many Custer groupies in the world!
How fascinating to read the books. You’re probably right about his ambitions. What else does a handsome brilliant (albeit ill-fated) guy do?
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Great story, Elyse.
I envy you having a good brother like Fred. My only sibling, Susan, was 13 years younger than me, but I did have playmates. I don’t recall playing cowboys and Indians with them, but I do recall, in the late 1940’s, our getting in my father’s car and pretending it was a spaceship. (Even then, I was reading science fiction like Rocket Ship Galileo, by Robert Heinlein.)
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I am lucky with my family — except losing my sisters. But Fred is great and always made me feel welcome. Still does!
When my son was little there were kids interested in trucks and others interested in dinosaurs. I guess it’s their version of Cowboys and space ships!
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Loved this, Elyse. And when you wrote that you were going to get to be the General, I went: “Uh-oh. I know what comes next.” Enjoy your time with your big brother!
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It is obvious, isn’t it. But still. He always made me look stuff up — an invaluable thing!
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Absolutely!
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