Ripley’s Believe it or NOT!

Sunday mornings in my house growing up were dedicated to the Sunday Funnies, the comics, in the Bridgeport Post. While my dad always tried to convince me that Lil’ Abner was funny (it wasn’t), I loved Ripley’s Believe it or Not!  I read it faithfully, for years.

It’s been years since I read it though. I chalk it up to reading the news online instead of on paper.  The Funnies are not as easy to find online.

But just today, the Funnies made it to the “Real News”!  Or it should have. You see, this story is A FRONT-PAGE-WORTHY story.  A Believe it or NOT! classic.

Bigfoot Porn Has Become A Major Controversy In A U.S. House Race. Seriously.

Sigh.

In my adopted home state of Virginia, in the 5th Congressional District which includes Charlottesville, the GOP recently put forth Denver Riggleman to run for Congress.  This change occurred when the incumbent, Republican Rep. Tom Garrett, retired following allegations that he and his wife made his staff do menial tasks including walking the couple’s dog.

But with Riggleman, the fur really starts to fly.  You see, he, ummm, put his Big Foot in his mouth with his Instagram account:

That question has been inspired by Leslie Cockburn, a Democrat who’s running for Congress in Virginia’s 5th District. On Twitter this Sunday, Cockburn accused her Republican opponent, Denver Riggleman, of being a “devotee of Bigfoot erotica.” Her tweet included a crudely drawn image of Bigfoot — with the monster’s genitalia obscured — taken from Riggleman’s Instagram account. She added, “This is not what we need on Capitol Hill.”

After showing that image, I promise to not comment on the Democratic candidate’s name.  I promise.  Anybody got any duct tape??????

I agree that we don’t really need someone in the United States Congress who believes in Big Foot but not climate change. Who doesn’t realize that this is not an issue that Virginians care about.  Who believes that there are women who want Big Foot — although if it weren’t for the small hands, that might explain Trump’s allure.

So, My Fellow Americans, in 2018 we find ourselves as a nation drawn into the Sunday Funnies.  Into Ripley’s Believe it or NOT!

I can’t wait to hear how the Evangelicals will spin this one!

***

27 Comments

Filed under 'Merica, 2018, All The News You Need, Assholes, Bat-shit crazy, Cancer on Society, Class Act, Climate Change, Clusterfuck, Crazy Folks Running, Disgustology, Do GOP Voters Actually THINK?, Elections, Elections Matter, GOP, Holy Shit, How stupid can you be, GOP?, Huh?, Humor, Kakistocracy, Make Resistance Fun, Register to Vote Today!, Seriously weird, Sex Scandals, Size Matters, Stupidity, Things that make me nuts, Voting, What must folks in other countries be thinking?, Where does the GOP get these guys?, Wild Beasts, WTF?

27 responses to “Ripley’s Believe it or NOT!

  1. I’m (almost) speechless. Just when you think politics can’t get any crazier! Not that I don’t love a good Bigfoot porn story, but really…. you would think Washington has a little more than a Yeti’s package to think about these days.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. If there’s Bigfoot porn, there must be Bigfoot pornstars, and I have to wonder how many of them our president is paying off to keep quiet.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. A devotee of Bigfoot erotica? Maybe the old days were better, when we didn’t text or tweet EVERY thought that crossed our minds. This guy needs the duct tape, to bind his fingers together. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Once again we have to ask ourselves: what the HELL does the Onion write about these days???

    Liked by 2 people

  5. It isn’t what we need from the hill… but it is what I expect we are going to get… sigh…

    Liked by 2 people

  6. The most ironic thing about it is that The National Enquirer (owned by Twitler pal David Pecker) will be the only outlet not reporting this story.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Denver Riggleman even sounds pervy. I read about this on Twitter yesterday, and I was moved to wax poetically….

    I know that it seems rather petty,
    To point out what makes one hot and sweaty,
    But you have to admit,
    That it’s some strange shit,
    If what gets your rocks off is a yeti.

    Liked by 2 people

  8. Who names their kid ‘Denver’? What pretentious clap.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Well , the issue is Big Foots privates… that is brought forth by D candidate COCK burn.. * sigh * * hangs head *

    Liked by 2 people

  10. I think candidate Cockburn should get Fearless Fosdick to investigate this particular Big Foot sighting.

    Liked by 3 people

  11. Geesuuss. What next? Too funny for words and so outrageous.

    Liked by 3 people

  12. That’s easy … the Evangelicals will justify it by citing Bill Clinton with Monica and the others.

    Liked by 3 people

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