Category Archives: Elections

March 13, 2012 · 0:00

Take Me Back

I’m a white woman of Irish descent, and so I am pretty sure that I can explain exactly why President Obama, and really, all African-American men and women, would do just about anything to return to the way life was before the Civil War.  Life was so much better way back then, don’t cha think?  Especially for people of color.

Shopping!

You gotta love Sarah Palin.  You gotta pay attention to the former candidate for Vice President of the United States.  Well, you gotta do something with her.  Slapping would work for me.

You see, she couldn’t keep quiet knowing that the new movie GAME CHANGE might just imply that she was, well, not the brightest star in the GOP firmament.  She couldn’t rest thinking that some people who once thought that she really did have a brain might see this movie and change their minds.  Instead, she made sure that nobody will mistake her for someone who should be allowed out without a muzzle.

I’ve got to say, though, she is so dog-gone creative in her criticism of the President.  You betcha!

[Sorry – this is an Obama fundraising ad – I’m not pushing you to give.  But the full video, surprise, surprise, seems to have been taken off of Fox News.]

Now, Poor Sarah has contended that this video was edited to quote her out of context.  So, here, you be the judge.  The stuff between the italics is what was edited out.

He is bringing us back to days, you can hearken back to days before the Civil War, [when unfortunately too many Americans mistakenly believed that not all men were created equal. And it was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth that here in America, yes we are equal, and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin, you have equal opportunity to work hard and to succeed and to embrace God-given opportunities to develop resources and work extremely hard and as I say, to succeed. Now, it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand the gravity of that mistake that took place before the Civil War and why the Civil War had to really start changing America.] What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin. Why are we allowing our country to move backwards? [instead of moving forward with that understanding that as our charters of liberty spell out for us, we are all created equally?]

Huh?

For my international readers, pre-Civil War America was not a nice place for blacks.  Trust me on that one.

But you know, only Sarah Palin would say out loud, and in front of a television camera, that a black man would want to go back to the days of slavery, of being sold away from your family, of being whipped to death for the smallest reason, or for no reason at all.  Only Freedom lovin’ Sarah Palin could even think that.  Yup, those were the days.  Who wouldn’t want to go back?   Those dresses were amazing. And the lifestyle?  Well, it was to die for”  You betcha, especially if you were a slave.

Apparently, it was very hot that day.

In fact, I bet Barack is irritated as hell that there is no “Way Back Machine.”  Because, although Sarah didn’t say it, I bet President Obama might also like to go back in time to the fifties, where being the biracial son of a white woman and a black man was the height of cool.  I bet he’d love those fire hoses — so refreshing on a hot summer’s eve.

And the dogs that sometimes greeted blacks like this one in Birmingham.

Hey, aren't you Rin Tin Tin?

Hey, the President is a dog lover — maybe he could bring Bo with him!

Look! They already know how to play!

Perhaps we can even throw in a visit to South Africa, say, sometime between 1948 and 1994, you know, during Apartheid!  He could hang with Nelson Mandela on Robben Island!  Who hooo – wouldn’t that be a time.

Nelson Mandela in prison on Robben Island in 1966

Me, I’d like to use the Way Back Machine to find a time when I’d never heard of Sarah Palin.

*     *    *

There is really nothing funny about Sarah Palin.  She is evil and dangerous.  Oh, and stupid.

All photos via Google Images

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March 10, 2012 · 0:00

Just Another Word

I just don’t get it.  And I’m hoping someone can help me out here.  You see, my parents left the Catholic Church when I was only 10.  So there is a whole lot about religion that I just don’t get. (Yeah, it’s their fault.)

I got the basics.  I don’t kill people or steal or do other bad things.  I love my neighbor, but not too much.  I’m involved with and engaged in my community, but just not in an organized religion sort of way.  Lack of church membership doesn’t make me a bad person, although I realize that some people would argue with that.  I can handle being on my own should “The Rapture” come to pass.

The thing is, a vocal minority of those folks are really getting all up in my face these days.  They are bouncing up and down and crying “religious freedom” all day and night.  And I don’t know about you, but I think the word “freedom” has been hijacked.   Whenever someone tries to tell me that they are “protecting freedom,” well, it’s more likely that he or she is trying to take away some of my freedoms.  And yours.

Yup.  I’m getting the feeling that “Freedom” is becoming less and less free, right here at home.  That noise is Thomas Jefferson and the other founding fathers rolling in their graves.  You remember, those cool old guys who set up a government with a clear separation of Church and State?  I’m pretty sure they’re ticked.

So here is my issue.  My problem.  My query.  When God created man (and women), however that happened, He did it in His image right?  Isn’t that what the bible says?  I’m pretty sure that I got that part right.

These guys do look alike, don't they? But is beauty only skin deep? (Google Image)

Then here’s my question:  Was that image complete?  Whole hog?  I mean, did that “image” include the brain?  And if so, doesn’t that make using one’s brain “Godly” or “Godlike” or, at a minimum, “Good”? Doesn’t that mean that to NOT use one’s brain is ungodly?  And shouldn’t we use our God-given brains to make things better for God’s creatures, including our fellow man?

You see why I’m confused.  Maybe you are too.

I just can’t figure out why some folks apparently think that we were created in God’s image, but only on the outside.  On the inside, well, I guess we’re just created in someone else’s image.  I guess the only interior options would be the fish in the seas or the animals on the land.  That just doesn’t seem Kosher, now, does it?

Spencer Tracy's Father Flanagan doesn't look at all like Rick Santorum -- Google Image

If we were created in God’s image, inside and out, shouldn’t that mean that the wonders created by mankind are God’s work, too?  Isn’t that, well, logical?

So I just don’t understand the folks who hate science, who disdain learning, and who seem to want to go back to times when the folks organizing religion weren’t exactly like Father Flanagan.

Because it seems to me that Rick Santorum, the Virginia Legislature and the GOP in general look and act a lot like these guys:

Fun Times with the Spanish Inquisition -- Google Image

Hey, hey, don’t leave women out!  Those sluts.

Don't want to leave the little woman out of the Inquisition! (Google Image)

Because if these “religious freedom” folks have their way, “Freedom” will, in fact, be just another word for “nothin’ left to lose.”

Perhaps I should have taken more philosophy courses and fewer writing ones.  Because I just don’t get it.

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March 6, 2012 · 0:00

Lock-step Ain’t the Two-Step

Poor Lisa.  Lisa Murkowski.  Senator Lisa Murkowski (R-AK).  She’s upset.  She’s angry.  She’s really sorry.  Poor, Poor Lisa.  It’s not her fault.  Someone else made her do it.  If it happened to you, wouldn’t it make YOU mad?

Poor, Poor Lisa Murkowski (R-AK)

You see, Poor Lisa voted for the Blunt Amendment last Thursday, and now she’s upset.  You remember the Blunt Amendment, don’t you?  It’s the one that would allow any employer to refuse to include healthcare coverage for any condition he or she objects to on moral or religious grounds.

Poor Lisa needs some sympathy.  Here, Lisa, will this help?

Poor Lisa wasn’t upset when she voted for the Blunt Amendment, though.  It wasn’t until afterwards, when she met up with some of the voters (who had written her name in and elected her after her staff misspelled her name on the ballot).  The voters weren’t very happy with her.  In fact, they were a wee bit miffed.  Poor Lisa, now she is very sorry indeed.

Here’s what Poor Lisa told the Anchorage Daily News:

“I have never had a vote I’ve taken where I have felt that I let down more people that believed in me,” she said.

Got a hanky?

Poor Lisa.  She kept making excuses and told the nice newspaper folks all these important things.  Things voters need to remember next time she is up for election:

She’s a moderate. [I can tell!]  She supports abortion rights and contraception coverage [Of course she does – didn’t she prove that with her vote FOR the Blunt Amendment?].  She also doesn’t line up completely with the Catholic Church when it comes to birth control.

I’m so very glad that what she said when it was no longer important cleared up that confusing vote of hers!  Aren’t you?

Because, you see, she’d meant to make a statement about religious freedom.  But those silly voters read it as a vote against contraception coverage for women!  Against women’s health!  Against family planning!  Oops!

Imagine that!  Imagine a world where someone with a vagina and a vote might just think that this vote against women’s health was a really a vote against women’s rights??????  I tell ya, some voters just want everything.

You see, Poor Lisa just did exactly what the Republican Leadership told her to do, just as she has in every vote she’s cast since she got to the Senate.  Republicans are really good at lock-step, every time there’s a vote.  Republicans vote in lock-step even when it goes against their own beliefs — and that’s just what Poor Lisa did.  

And that’s a huge part of the reason why nothing works in Congress.  Republican intransigence.

It’s time.  Time for this issue to become a rallying cry for thinking people – a make or break issue.  And it’s not just a women’s issue, either.

And you know, the President isn’t going to be the only one on the ballot.  And he isn’t the only one who might impact your life.

*****

Photo from TalkingPointsMemo.com (photo credit given on the photo but my eyes can’t read it)

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Filed under Elections, Humor, Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Uncategorized, Voting

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February 15, 2012 · 0:00

Because Mine Don’t

Tomorrow at my office, I and other members of the “Senior Staff” must present some cost cutting measures for consideration by the President and CEO.  I’ve been worrying about this for more than a month.  Me, I’m more into spending than cost cutting, and I just didn’t have any really good ideas for how a small business like ours could, well, save money.

But then, to quote John Lennon, “I read the news today, oh boy.”  And I know just exactly how we will be saving loads of money.  Can you guess how?

We can save sh*tloads of cash on health insurance in the not too distant future.  How?

Yup, you guessed it!  I’m counting on the Republicans in Congress continuing to be so completely, bafflingly, inexplicably bizarre.   I’m betting that the Amendment proposed by Senator Roy Blunt (R-MO) to the Affordable Healthcare Act will become law.  You read about it, didn’t you?  It would allow any employer to “opt out” of offering insurance coverage to their employees if they object to coverage for religious or moral grounds.

When it becomes law, PRESTO!  My company will save a fortune.  I am a magician!  I will save the company.  I will be promoted!  I will make big buckaroooooooooooossssss!  I will be rewarded!  At least I’ll keep my job.

Cue the evil laugh.  Mooaahhhhhhhaaaahaaaaaaa.

Now there aren’t many of us at my little company.  In fact I think we may all actually be “Senior Staff,” so I will need to present this carefully.  Or mumble.

And, well, there aren’t too many health issues to speak of among our 22 employees.  The usual flu, cold, allergies.  Nothing particularly juicy.  Nothing even remotely immoral.  Nothing even borderline.  Besides, what could we possibly object to on both moral and religious grounds that hasn’t already been taken care of by those busy beavers at the Virginia State Legislature?

Clearly, I had to dig deeper.  I had to look to find what everyone has in common.  And I figured it out!

We will deny health insurance coverage to anyone who poops.

We will do it on moral AND religious grounds. 

Yup, poop.  Nobody likes poop – that’s why we flush it away, why we bury it, why we hide behind doors to do it.  I’ll save us a fortune in premiums.

As the self-proclaimed new insurance representative of my company, I hereby proclaim:

We oppose poop on moral grounds.

We oppose poop on religious grounds.

(Opposing poop on religious grounds would be easier if only I could remember which religion has the caste system – you know, where only the lowest caste deals with poop.  Whatever religion that may be.  I’m sure it’s mentioned in the Constitution.  (It’s probably somewhere in the 2nd Amendment.)

Soon, my company won’t have to cover anybody; we’ll save a bloomin’ fortune.

But somehow, I will have to figure out how I can get insurance that covers me, because, you see, I have some healthcare issues, and I want to keep MY coverage.

I know!!  My coverage can be special; because my poop don’t stink.  Just like that of the folks proposing this Amendment.  Right?

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Filed under Elections, Family, Humor, Hypocrisy, Stupidity, Susan G. Komen, Technology, Uncategorized

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January 17, 2012 · 0:00

People My Age

Well, it’s my birthday.  And I have a problem.

You might have noticed it yourself.  You may even have asked me about it.  Or wondered in stoic silence.   “Whatever will she do?” you asked yourself.  I am sure it has been weighing on you — heavily.  As well it should.

“FiftyFourAndAHalf,” that’s the problem.  It’s right up there at the top of the page.  Yup, the blog’s name.   I called it that in a fit of pique at the GOP who were going to take Medicare away from everyone under 55.  Starting with me.  It seemed grossly unfair when I was younger.  Like, you know, six months ago.

But, ummmm.  I’m not FiftyFourAndAHalf anymore.  I’m not even FiftyFourAndThreeQuarters, either — the name my son, Jacob, has been calling me.   Because my 55th birthday is here.  I tried to stop it, but, well, I failed.  My bad.

I didn’t know what to do.  I thought of taking a poll:

 

 

I must admit I was afraid of your answers.  More importantly, I was afraid that I had more poll questions than readers.

But then I saw this:

John Gorka, singing “People My Age”

It helped me make my decision.  It stiffened my resolve.  I wish I had thought of it sooner.  Like 20 years ago.  But back then, I didn’t know that people my age had started looking gross.

So I’m not going on to FiftyFive.  I don’t want to be my age, because people my age have started looking gross. 

I’m sticking with FiftyFourAndAHalf.

Man! I look better already.

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