Uncle Sugar

You may find this surprising, but today I agree with former Arkansas Governor Mike Huckabee (R-12th Century).

(Photo Credit Salon.com)

Lead me not into temptation
(Photo Credit Salon.com)

According to today’s Washington Post, Huck knows him some women.  And so he can point the way for his entire party, nay, the entire country, to make women ummmmmmm, Man Up.

We women, especially those who live close to the economic edge that GOP policies and politics have placed us at, don’t have any control over our libidos.  And so we need “Uncle Sugar” to massage our needs with free birth control. Covered under Obamacare.  The nerve of women to want to avoid pregnancy, avoid abortion, avoid abject poverty for the remainder of their lives.

Wanting to avoid co-pays.  The scum.


[Text provided cause I know you aren’t gonna click on that link and for some reason the video won’t embed]:

The Washington Post Reported:

Former Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee (R) said Thursday that Republicans need to take a more combative attitude toward winning the votes of women, by emphasizing that women aren’t weaklings in need of help from the government.

“I think it’s time Republicans no longer accept listening to the Democrats talk about a ‘war on women,'” Huckabee said during a speech at the Republican National Committee’s winter meeting in Washington. “The fact is the Republicans don’t have a war on women, they have a war for women, to empower them to be something other than victims of their gender.” […]

Huckabee said Democrats tell women “they are helpless without Uncle Sugar coming in and providing them for them a prescription each month for birth control because they cannot control their libido or their reproductive system without the help of government.

Yes, Mike Huckabee is right.

Because when I see him, hear him, I cannot control myself.  I want.  I want.  I want.

I want to shout:


I am so tired of Huckabee and the rest of the male-dominated GOP that is hell bent on keeping as many women in poverty as possible.  Barefoot and pregnant, that’s how they like us.  And so I repeat:



and the Horse You Rode In On

Of course, now I will be accused of bestiality AND being unable to control my libido.

And I gotta figure out just exactly how this jives with yesterday’s enlightening story about Rep. Steve Pearce (R-NM) who believes that a wife is supposed to “voluntarily submit” to her husband.  Life must be damn confusing for Republican women.  The two who are still Republicans, that is.


Filed under Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Elections, Family, GOP, Health and Medicine, Huh?, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Mental Health, Politics, Stupidity, Taking Care of Each Other, Wild Beasts

95 responses to “Uncle Sugar

  1. Huckabee’s a piece of work, and he’s not even the worst! Republicans don’t want women to think differently than they’re told to. It’s sickening. I have an older aunt who is pro-gay marriage, was disgusted by the shutdown, and even thinks Obamacare might be worth a shot. But she is still voting Republican because her dead husband was Republican. I feel like this situation is probably common…


  2. I had to come thank you for sending people to help me break the commenting record, but I didn’t know if it would work on the reblog of my own post… so I did it here… thanks, and I will try to come back…. as soon as my fingers stop bleading…


  3. Isn’t it just a little too perfect that Huck rhymes with “fuck”? I mean, it all makes sense. The universe is sending us all a message.


  4. Those silly women who can’t control their libido… They’re almost as bad as Republican politicians who can’t control their mouth.


  5. Wow… Elyse dropping F-Bombs in Technicolor! That was worth the price of admission alone. Please don’t be offended Elyse, but you’re starting to sound more like me here. Except you’re about 2,000 words shorter, while being much more direct and to the point. Although my last post was “restrained” compared to my more typical nuclearly superfluous word proliferation.

    But take heart, Elyse. Earlier this morning I was saying to my wife that the last presidential election was as if the Republicans unintentionally ran a clinic called “How to Deeply Offend and Infuriate the Majority of American Women” with each male GOP quote worse than the next, and their words backed up with a variety of state legislation that was an abomination for most American women.

    And the really cool thing is… the GOP guys didn’t even realize that they were sinking their own national political party’s ambitions faster than a shattered glass bottom boat!

    Oh, they may talk a lot about how to do better with women, but then they follow it up by saying and doing things to make most female voters loathe the GOP even more. And the beauty of it all is… they don’t even know that they’re doing it! 😀


  6. I do love your political rants … they always make me laugh!

    When I first saw the story, and read his words, I was really speechless. At first I thought it was a story from The Onion or something, then I realized it was actually true.

    Although, I guess what’s more stunning is the fact that this wasn’t really picked up by much of the mainstream media, proving that, contrary to what they want you to think, the bias in the media is not of the liberal sort.


    • Thanks, John.

      I read yesterday that Huck is fundraising off of this — against all those card-carrying liberals…

      Oh, and that he said the same thing on Faux News last weekend and nobody got upset. I, of course, am shocked, shocked.


  7. Are you guys in the states still living in the pilgrim days? It sure sounds like it!


  8. I can’t believe you missed the bigger picture here.
    The GOP is about smaller govt. By getting out of our air, water and food production, our govt can put resources where they really NEED to be – helping women understand their misunderstood gender. Because govt should stay our of our lives!
    Except here (apparently)!

    And happily, there will be a private sector profit to be made too!
    Sheesh Elyse, sometimes you’re just such a communist.

    Hope Huck runs again, just so he can split more votes.


    • Yeah, you’re right, Guap. Government should be shrunk down to the size of, not a bathtub, but a vagina, so that it can fit in there and take all the guesswork out of what should be done with those lady parts..

      I actually worry about Huck — because he is as crazy as Herman Caine and Rick Santorum but in a much more likeable (usually) package.


  9. Just curious…does the government pay for co-pays on Cialis, Viagra and the like?

    We’ve been inundated with Christie’s Bridgegate coverage and his alleged withholding of Hurricane Sandy funds to the city of Hoboken because the mayor wouldn’t green light a development project. I had the TV on the other morning and they were interviewing a Republican governor or senator or some such. They asked him about all of this and he actually referred to the mayor of Hoboken as “that lady mayor.” I thought my eyes were going to pop out of my head. She is a woman and she is a mayor, but I didn’t realize they got such special recognition.


    • As I was throwing this post together, Paprika, I tried to find out just that — whether the big boy pills are covered. I couldn’t find anything about it, but I vaguely remember reading that yes, they are. I’m not sure though, and I couldn’t prove it.

      I also tried to find out what Huck’s position is on deadbeat dads. I learned that he favors an earned income deduction for dads who stay married… Oy.


  10. You seem upset, Elyse. You alright?


  11. I hadn’t been following this story and I know it’s wrong but I have a hard time actively trying to stay in tune with what these Rep. politicians spout daily. I know I should keep up on it, but it infuriates me. I am glad I’m seeing in through you–but still can’t believe there are people out there that believe this way about women, and that there are more than 2 Rep. women out there that believe it too!


    • While I am a news junkie, I do often understand that (1) not everybody is and (2) I often wish I wasn’t. But the thing is that the GOP has been taken over by the lunatic fringe and they are hell-bent on sending our country back to the dark ages.

      The truth is, Robin, that not only are there people that believe this, but they turn out in droves to vote for and put into office people who believe dinosaurs still roam the earth, that there is no such thing as climate change, that evolution didn’t happen, that the world was created in 7 days. That your body and mine are the only areas where regulation is appropriate.

      It is so deeply scary.


  12. Seeing American politicians through your eyes gives me great pleasure (nothing to do with my libido). I would like to see you tackle some of our gems some day.


  13. I have one more thing to say about this (then I promise I’ll shut up)–using that “Uncle Sugar” term absolutely suggests that the government/Obama/Obamacare acts as a pimp and women who use birth control are whores.

    There. I’m done. Back to my own nonsense 🙂


    • No need to shut up until and unless you want to! Your comments are very welcome and quite perceptive. I got the fact that you were joking, but there is a lot of truth in that joke (and in most others — that’s the secret to humor). They do seem to believe that women aren’t suppose to enjoy sex because apparently they are so disinterested that I’d bet that there is no effort to make it enjoyable for both (although I am quite sure I will die not knowing because the idea of sex with someone with such twisted values is nauseating).

      And I agree completely. That’s the point of “Uncle Sugar” — to make the point that the government will be pimping for these women who can’t control themselves. Yuck.


  14. Snoring Dog Studio

    Oh, NOW I know why I’m a Democrat! Thank you, Huckabee, for setting me straight. Of course, given that I’m past using birth control and I’m celibate, what on earth could explain why I persist in being a Democrat? Oh, help me Republicans, I just don’t know! I honestly fear the women who feel at home in the Republican Party these days.


    • SDS, yes, I too am past the need for any of these services. So, for the most part are they and their spouses. But I hate the fact that they are turning or trying to turn the clock back.

      There are so many reasons to question why there are women who persist in being in the GOP. Just none that would make a rational person go along with it.


  15. I think this is genius. Horribly misguided genius, but genius. If you’re going to take such a stance on women and women’s health, you might as well go to the extreme.


    • They’ve been there for such a long time and the crazy just get crazier. I really am expecting to hear budget requests for chastity belts any day now.


  16. I almost couldn’t comment because my libido was going all wild and I was spraying all over the lawn, but your Fuck Huck is right on.


  17. bigsheepcommunications

    Who would like to join me in leaving the country (the planet?) before the 2016 campaign frenzy begins?


  18. Hmm, well let’s see. There is an easy solution to this whole thing. If men took PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for their own libidos, then we wouldn’t have to worry about women needing help from Uncle Sugar.


    • No no no. It’s always the woman’s fault. Men cannot be held accountable. Women must keep their legs clamped together until they want to have children and then shut them tight after they fill their quivers. If only women would understand, all this birth control and abortion stuff will be solved!

      I made a flip comment up above, but I do think it’s probably true that these men have never experienced sex with a woman who wanted to have sex with them and they just can’t fathom a woman wanting to express her desire. It’s not something they’ve encountered in their lives. “Good” women only have sex to procreate. “Bad” women who have sex for other reasons deserve to suffer the consequences.

      Plus, they think it’s dirty.


    • These are the same bozos who complain about the deficit that their president (Dubya) created out of the surplus left by Bill Clinton. Personal responsibility? Not in their life-times.


  19. Republican men are freaked out by women, period. Because – periods. And all that reproductive stuff being inside instead of out where you can play with it more. So they really don’t get it, and they don’t want to, so please shut up with this crazy talk of birth control and sanitary pads and not wanting your uterus up for sale.

    As far as Republican women . . . I have no idea. Maybe they are freaked out about being women too?


    • Yes — you would think that a little non-violent blood wouldn’t bother the hee-men, but apparently it bothers some of them very much. So naturally, they are doing everything they can to make sure they control it. I’m sure they are budgeting for chastity belts as we speak (er…. write).

      And GOP women? Their souls have been stolen, that’s the only explanation I’ve ever been able to come up with.


  20. Victims of their gender??? What an ignoramus.


  21. Fuck Huck?

    Can’t do it, no thanks. I am controlling my libido by not fucking hucking. Ever, in any life time.

    What I want to know, why do they need Viagra if no one ever, will fuck them?

    You have Vitters in diapers at whore houses.
    You have Newt dipping his wick wherever he can.
    Just two wonderful examples of upstanding “R” who constantly yammer about marriage and Republican values. Now you have Sugar Daddy from Huck the Fuck. Do these idiots really think this will get them back into power?


    • It would be interesting, wouldn’t it, to keep an excel file on GOP “family values” falls from grace? There are the gay bashers who are gay hitting on other men in Minneapolis, the pedophiles hitting on Congressional pages, and the plain, ole extra-marital sex. Newt may be the one that pisses me off the most — as he was having an affair with the woman who became wife No. 3 (or was it 2, I can’t keep GOP wives straight) while impeaching Clinton for extra-marital sex.

      I’m not really going to fuck huck. I’d like to make sure his 2016 campaign gets fucked up, though. But I’m pretty sure that’s different.


      • I can’t remember which show it was last night, I only caught a minute of it but Michael Steele was on defending Huck. He was actually trying to spin this idiotic statement, saying this wasn’t really what it sounded like. Then saying well if you listened to the entire statement you would understand, so they played the entire statement. No one understood.


        • Steele is such a tool. Of course no one understood because Huck said what he said and meant it. Today he is doubling-down on it. Huck is now fundraising off this comment. He is a dangerous man because he seems so very likeable.


  22. Clinton

    This is funny in a sad sort of way. Perhaps it’s sad in a funny sort of way. You are right however, abysmal stupidity can only go so far (what part of ‘choice’ don’t they understand?) It becomes safe to assume that they (republicans) have an unspoken agenda.

    These comments are hilarious as well.

    Thank you!


    • I can’t decide which is more prominent — the sad or the funny. Of course, the “stupid, don’t you get it” is there in spades too …

      My commenters are wonderful. 😉


  23. When I first heard the comment, I shook my head and wondered if they will ever learn. Then I thought … oh no … Elyse will get a grip on this one! …. and she did!!!!


  24. I dunno. I don’t blame him. He’s probably only ever encountered women who had no trouble at all controlling their libido around him, so that’s all he knows.

    I don’t usually write political stuff, but I could not pass up that Steve Pearce story!


  25. Honestly, Elyse, it’s not complicated. After you have sex with your husband, ask him whether he’d like you to be pregnant. If he says no, just use willpower to control your reproductive system and shut that whole thing down, the same way you would if you’d been raped.


  26. “F**K HUCK”—Oh jeez, that made me laugh out loud. But the good girl that I am, I censored my comment. You’ll only find F-bombs in my fiction. In fact, you might find Huckabee there, too. He would make a fine idiot antagonist. Then again, so would many other ignorant politicians. Oh, decisions, decisions…

    Thanks for making my night. Your venomous humor is like dessert to me. 🙂


  27. Deborah the Closet Monster

    I am glad I encountered this through you, because my rage is slightly tempered by sense of camaraderie. With you, of course. Not Huck. Not ever.

    These attempts at spin are . . . well, D could do better.


    • Thanks, Deb. It is better to fume together (it helps with libido control). The thing is that so many folks nod their heads and say, yeah, those sluts, etc. makes my blood boil and not in a submissive wife sort of way!


  28. Well, bless your heart! I used to actually think this guy had half a brain, but now he shows he does not. I am not religious. I believe a woman should have the say so over her own reproduction. These guys want it both ways. You need to get preggers (or keep your libido in check) and have the baby even if you are raped or dead for that matter. Then you need to starve the kid because they want to withhold food stamps and free lunch programs and health care if possible. Maybe the own funeral parlors on the QT. I’m jusrt sayin…


    • How did I NOT see my typos! Maybe “they” own funeral parlors. I’m “just” sayin… Oy vey!


    • Actually there is one GOP member who was/is in the funeral industry ( quite the misnomer), but I can’t remember who it is.

      When he first came on the scene, about a decade ago, I thought Huckabee was a good guy. Then I started paying attention. He is a nasty SOB with a sugar glaze.


  29. And those two are only republicans because their husbands told them to be.


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