Category Archives: Science

Hey Doc? What Would You Do?

My mother-in-law, Helen, just celebrated her 86th birthday!  She is the last of our parents, John’s and mine, and we feel lucky to have her around.  For her age she’s doing quite well.  She still lives independently and does pretty well with some help from us and even more from John’s sister who lives much closer.

As she ages, naturally she has more health issues.  But she is very independent and doesn’t want any of us along when she goes to the doctor.  It won’t be long before we start insisting though, because whenever she goes for a checkup or for a problem, we end up completely confused and can’t help because, well, she likes to keep things private.

In the last year, though, she’s had a few procedures that, while not too terribly invasive, still seemed over the top.  Unnecessary.   Expensive, but covered by Medicare and Medi-gap insurance.

Now remember, I am a bit of a cheerleader for doctors.  I have wonderful ones and they have improved my life immensely.  I work with doctors, I have friends who are doctors.  I am really familiar with the system and how things work.

So I have to say that I was taken aback when I read a recent article in the Wall Street Journal:

Why Doctors Die Differently

Huh?

The article was written by Ken Murray.  DoctorKen Murray.  Naturally as an all-too frequent patient/medical geek, I was intrigued.  The gist of the article is summed up by this quote:

What’s unusual about doctors is not how much treatment they get compared with most Americans, but how little.  They know exactly what is going to happen, they know the choices, and they generally have access to any sort of medical care that they could want. But they tend to go serenely and gently.

Oh.

No tubes.  No chemotherapy.  No machines.  Gently and serenely.  Well, whodda thunk it?

I know for a fact that doesn’t happen in the hospital.  They know for a fact that doesn’t happen in a hospital.  If it did, medical costs would not be so, well, costly.  You’ve read the stats, so I won’t go there.  You’re welcome.

My sister Beth, who was a nurse, had suffered a stroke that, among other things, led to acute kidney failure requiring years of dialysis.  Beth had been having problems for a couple of months when she suddenly took a severe turn for the worse, and she was in terrible pain.  Her sons were unable to help her and took her, against her will, to the hospital, where she lapsed into a coma.  But not before she was placed on all kinds of machines, respirators, monitors, dialysis machines, the works.  But she had really already gone.  None of that expensive equipment was really necessary.  None of it changed the outcome. Only the drugs made her more comfortable.

Selfishly, part of me is glad they put her on those machines, because it gave me enough time to get to her bedside and be there at the end.  She would have been glad to know I was there, but not glad of the expensive and hopeless treatment she received.  That is not at all what she would have wanted.  Would you?

So when I read this article I realized it was time to add an important question to the list I ask all doctors whenever I go, or whenever I go with someone I am trying to help:

“Hey, Doc?  What would you do if you were the patient?”

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Filed under Family, Hey Doc?, Science, Stupidity, Technology

My biggest fear

It’s happened in the wake of the tragic death of singer Whitney Houston.  Or maybe it happened in the wake of CNN’s 4-day, 24-hour per day marathon coverage of her funeral which included an estimated 5,392,911 renditions of Whitney singing “I Will Always Love You.”  Whichever it was, I was delighted to see that our society has truly stepped up to the plate.  We are, thanks to Whitney, tackling the demons in our midst.

Starting with the one that has been keeping me up nights for years:

Can you really be addicted to lip balm?

Lip balm, no matter what they say about you, I will always love you.

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Filed under Family, Humor, Hypocrisy, Music, Science, Stupidity

Adjust Your Dial!

It’s spooky.  I keep expecting to have to adjust the vertical hold on my TV.  Or to hear the test pattern when I turn it on really early in the morning (you know, before the farm report).  And I’m surprised that the picture is in living color.

But then I look at the TV and realize that no, it is NOT a 1960s-era console TV.  Nope.  Not even close.  It is a high-end 3D LCD/LED HDTV, purchased not all that long ago.

So why is all the news from the 1960s?

Now I know that this is an election year.  Really, I do.  I pay attention.  But what I didn’t realize was that this was the 1960 election

Spoiler Alert: Kennedy Won

Contraception?  The Catholic Church?  The Church’s involvement in U.S. politics?  Ummm.  They are talking about issues that were resolved 50 years ago.

Enovid -- THE PILL

It’s true.  You see, on May 11, 1960 the first birth control pill, Enovid, received approval from the U.S. Food and Drug Administration.  That, if you’re math challenged, is approximately 52 years ago.  Trust me on that one.  Within 4 years, one-quarter of all couples were using “The Pill.”

In 1964, President Lyndon Johnson, signed federal legislation making birth control available to the poor.  That was 48 years ago.  The Supreme Court Ruled against a Connecticut state prohibition of contraception in 1965, 47 years ago.   A few years later, in 1972, the Supreme Court also ruled that single women could get the pill, too.

It’s done.

So what the hell is wrong with my TV?  Why is it delivering 50-year-old news?

Maybe I just need to push some more buttons.  And definitely even more in November.

* * *

I LOVE YOU, Google.  Thanks, for the pictures!

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Filed under Family, Hypocrisy, Science, Stupidity, Technology

Hey Doc?

Medical care in today’s America is really no more than a Ponzi scheme.  Just ask Rick Perry.

In my case, it seems that whenever I go to the doctor, I end up going to doctorS.  Plural.  Somehow, radiologists are always involved.  What did folks do before they split the atom?  I think all these tests is a Russian (Iranian?) plot to get Americans to wipe themselves out with radioactive dyes so that they — The Russian/Iranians — can take over our country and get up there on the CT Scan machine themselves.  They are seriously cool machines.  I want one for my living room.

Oops.  I digressed again.  So back to our hero in the U.S. medical system.

Me, I have a chronic condition that has a nasty habit of wandering around the temple that is my body.  (I am quite sure it is a temple, because it keeps expanding.)  So I do know the medical system, ummm, intimately.

No, no, no, the illness is not such a big deal.  More than anything it is annoying.  And gross. And time-consuming.  Because when I go to one doctor, she sends me to another, who invariably says, “well you know, you really should see … and along the way there will be tests.”  Needles will be stuck into veins, dyes will be injected, and incredibly disgusting potions will be consumed.  The doctors don’t feel a thing, though.  It hardly seems fair.

But I have something over most patients:  Doctors are terrified of me: 

I work in drug products litigation 

And

I am married to a lawyer

Besides,

  • I do my homework;
  • I ask questions that I have thought about in advance;
  • I write down their answers;
  • I do not let them leave the room until I am satisfied;
  • I call them with all those questions I forgot to ask the first time around;
  • When they don’t call me back, I threaten to haunt them after I am dead.

That last one is REALLY effective.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new specialist.   So, I am taking bets here:

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Filed under Family, Freshly Pressed, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Humor, Music, Science, Stupidity, Technology

People My Age

Well, it’s my birthday.  And I have a problem.

You might have noticed it yourself.  You may even have asked me about it.  Or wondered in stoic silence.   “Whatever will she do?” you asked yourself.  I am sure it has been weighing on you — heavily.  As well it should.

“FiftyFourAndAHalf,” that’s the problem.  It’s right up there at the top of the page.  Yup, the blog’s name.   I called it that in a fit of pique at the GOP who were going to take Medicare away from everyone under 55.  Starting with me.  It seemed grossly unfair when I was younger.  Like, you know, six months ago.

But, ummmm.  I’m not FiftyFourAndAHalf anymore.  I’m not even FiftyFourAndThreeQuarters, either — the name my son, Jacob, has been calling me.   Because my 55th birthday is here.  I tried to stop it, but, well, I failed.  My bad.

I didn’t know what to do.  I thought of taking a poll:

 

 

I must admit I was afraid of your answers.  More importantly, I was afraid that I had more poll questions than readers.

But then I saw this:

John Gorka, singing “People My Age”

It helped me make my decision.  It stiffened my resolve.  I wish I had thought of it sooner.  Like 20 years ago.  But back then, I didn’t know that people my age had started looking gross.

So I’m not going on to FiftyFive.  I don’t want to be my age, because people my age have started looking gross. 

I’m sticking with FiftyFourAndAHalf.

Man! I look better already.

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Filed under Childhood Traumas, Climate Change, Elections, Family, Humor, Music, Science, Stupidity