Hey Doc?

Medical care in today’s America is really no more than a Ponzi scheme.  Just ask Rick Perry.

In my case, it seems that whenever I go to the doctor, I end up going to doctorS.  Plural.  Somehow, radiologists are always involved.  What did folks do before they split the atom?  I think all these tests is a Russian (Iranian?) plot to get Americans to wipe themselves out with radioactive dyes so that they — The Russian/Iranians — can take over our country and get up there on the CT Scan machine themselves.  They are seriously cool machines.  I want one for my living room.

Oops.  I digressed again.  So back to our hero in the U.S. medical system.

Me, I have a chronic condition that has a nasty habit of wandering around the temple that is my body.  (I am quite sure it is a temple, because it keeps expanding.)  So I do know the medical system, ummm, intimately.

No, no, no, the illness is not such a big deal.  More than anything it is annoying.  And gross. And time-consuming.  Because when I go to one doctor, she sends me to another, who invariably says, “well you know, you really should see … and along the way there will be tests.”  Needles will be stuck into veins, dyes will be injected, and incredibly disgusting potions will be consumed.  The doctors don’t feel a thing, though.  It hardly seems fair.

But I have something over most patients:  Doctors are terrified of me: 

I work in drug products litigation 

And

I am married to a lawyer

Besides,

  • I do my homework;
  • I ask questions that I have thought about in advance;
  • I write down their answers;
  • I do not let them leave the room until I am satisfied;
  • I call them with all those questions I forgot to ask the first time around;
  • When they don’t call me back, I threaten to haunt them after I am dead.

That last one is REALLY effective.

Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new specialist.   So, I am taking bets here:

182 Comments

Filed under Family, Freshly Pressed, Health and Medicine, Hey Doc?, Humor, Music, Science, Stupidity, Technology

182 responses to “Hey Doc?

  1. Pingback: Firsts and Lasts…with Elyse from FiftyFourandAHalf « She's a Maineiac

  2. Pingback: Get Fresh Pressed Now! | FiftyFourandAHalf

  3. As a recently retired nurse, I must say I totally agree with your assessment. Unfortunately it isn’t any more pleasant for those of us inside the system, either. Within our flawed and fractured healthcare system resides the equivalent of the 99%/1%. Sigh…..

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  4. WOW! Freshly Pressed and on such a wonderful post! Congrats.

    Elyse, as I’m sure you are aware, I’ve been dealing with the medical establishment (not for myself, but those close to me) on a pretty intense level for the past couple of years. What you don’t know is that prior to quitting my job to take care of these people, I worked for 10 years at a major medical facility here in Seattle. You nailed it when you compared it to a Ponzi scheme. Tests and referrals are how they make money.

    I want to applaud you for such a refreshing and honest post on the state of medicine in the US. You also made some wonderfully valid points on advocating for one’s self when dealing with the healthcare system.

    Like

    • Thanks so much, MDR — I have missed you. I hope you are doing OK, and that you are breathing deeply and moving forward. It still sucks, though, as I know all too well. Much love, Elyse

      And thanks for your nice comments about the post!

      Like

  5. My mom is 88 years old, and I am her caretaker, so I am quite familiar with the Health Care System (there are both good and bad things about said System). I spend a good deal of time taking mom from doctor to doctor (thankfully, they’re all located in one area that’s close, so I’m not going all over town!). One thing you learn is that for all their education, doctors aren’t always better informed than you. I like that you mentioned that it’s important to do research and ask as many questions as you need.

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    • Hi John, thanks for reading.

      Good luck with navigating the system, with and for your Mom (and no doubt yourself). It is a challenge! But you can do it. And you know your body better than anyone.

      Like

  6. jkenjin

    thankx for sharing! Keep up the good posts ^_^ Have a great aloha week!

    Like

  7. Ah okay! A fellow Crohnie! Hello 🙂 oh I know, I’m going to invent a good tasting potion! Even the thought of it makes me want to boke, haha!
    Thank you, it’s a very up front account of my recent time in hospital and everything that has happened, I’ll look forward to your future posts! – Roisin.

    Like

  8. I’m from Britain where (thank goooooodness) we have the beloved NHS. I still found myself laughing away at your reference to potions! After one to many barium meals, CT scans, MRI scans and what not, I can relate exactly to what you are saying! I suffer with crohns disease (refer to my blog if you’d like to know more) and I know I will be visiting the hospital multiple times in the future. My bowel recently ruptured and I was given an ileostomy bag, and having something wrong with your intestines means you meet many, many, many different doctors! I know all the radiologists by their first name! I think it’s amazing what doctors can do these days, and I’m thankful I’ve mainly come across amazing doctors who are fantastic at what they do. Loved reading your post, thank you! – Roisin.

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    • Oh dear Roisin,
      I know about Crohn’s disease all too well. That’s what I have too. And it stinks, literally and figuratively. I would like to get my hands on whoever came up with the vile things we must drink!
      Good luck with your trials. I will check out your blog, too. Perhaps we can exchange some, ah, recipes.
      Elyse

      Like

  9. Rai

    My personal summary of the medical industry:
    moneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoneymoney

    k thx bye

    Like

    • I disagree. I really do know and have some wonderful, caring doctors. And frankly if a really smart person could be a doctor (who helps folks) rather than, say a banker, then I don’t begrudge.

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  10. good post. congrats for FP.

    TechSmartLife

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  11. Really Good !! But I still think that even if Doc thinks You are sick, he have to prove it with evidence.

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  12. Really Good and Congrats on Freshly Pressed… lately every doctor I see mentions how my complaints are just a ‘normal’ part of the aging process.

    Like

  13. I have a daughter with a rare medical condition and also live in doctor’s offices and hospitals. Added to the mix is the fact that I do p.r. for the pharma companies, am a friend of Google and asks endless, annoying questions like: “Do you know that for certain or did you read it in a medical book?” Yea, they love me. Just love me.

    Like

    • It is much more important that YOU like THEM. But putting my medical researcher hat back on, not much is “certain” in medicine. You must go with “evidence based,” which is an intellectual concept until one is faced with a REAL illness.
      My heart goes out to you. I’ve nearly always been the patient in the equation, which sucks. I’ve always thought being the patient was better than being the loved one. But watching your daughter suffer must be the worst. My thoughts are with you — I hope all goes well for her.

      Like

  14. Best wishes for a speedy and accurate diagnosis . . . but don’t hold your breath!
    Sincerely, Alsofifty-fourandahalf 🙂

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  15. That’s what I get for failing to check the Freshly Pressed page more often. BelatedCongratulations! Remember, I knew you when.

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  16. I try to steer clear of the doctors, but I must say I do have a good one now that will listen and make things right.
    Dan

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  17. It’s great to meet another patient that is proactive about there medical care…. Some patients take meds without even knowing what the drug is used for!

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    • There are getting to be more and more like us. In the old days, I went along and followed all advice. I will admit that I was happier just following orders. But I can no longer do that. I know too much (much of which I would rather not know!)

      Thanks for commenting — why is your blog called “Frances Cannot Write”? I guess I will have to check it out later and see!

      Like

  18. Fresh pressed! Snazzamatazz Elyse 🙂 It looks good on you!! MJ

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  19. Elyse, Yay!!!! congrats on being freshly pressed. Great post!

    Like

  20. I have one word for you – Acupuncture! It’s the best kept secret of the medical community. It may take a few visits to start seeing results, but it really works on just about every ailment! And no, it doesn’t hurt. Congrats on getting Freshly Pressed!

    Like

  21. typo- should be “would” Dr. B

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  22. I think you woule enjoy my book, “The Mandolin Case,” subtitled “Country Doctors, Honest Lawyers, and True Music.” It is a medical legal mystery solved by musicians and a golf hustler. Right now it is a free down-load for Amazon Prime members.

    Dr. Tom Bibey

    Like

  23. Elyse!!! How the hell did I miss that you got Freshly Pressed?! I’m so out of the loop. Please accept my apologies for not being one of the first to say CONGRATULATIONS! I knew it was coming soon for you, my friend.

    Like

    • Thanks Angie! I was actually hoping I could slip it by you. Because I just can’t figure out whether to get a ships anchor or a big heart with MOM tattoo’d on my forearm. You know, before we go for our hepatitis shots.

      Like

  24. Congrats on Freshly Pressed… lately every doctor I see mentions how my complaints are just a ‘normal’ part of the aging process.

    Like

  25. This was a good read. Very insightful, I must say!

    Congrats on being FPed 🙂

    Like

  26. aktifistri

    I’m getting aware about ‘freshly pressed’ just recently, and I have to congrats you for being chosen! No wonder why, since you just threw amazing style of writing! I just love reading it.. very communicative 🙂 Following you, I am. 😀

    Like

  27. That was a nice article and in our country, You will see criminal doctors, I swear.

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    • Looking at your link, I’m wondering if you are in India (from the “in”). But I’ve known some wonderful Indian doctors (I lived and worked abroad for 5 years). There are good and bad in every land. We just have to be careful to choose wisely.

      Thank ou for visiting.

      Like

  28. Congrats on being freshly pressed. 🙂 Two of my most favorite people in the blogosphere, got in to that list with in a week. I could not ask for more. A big congrats to you. Enjoy your day…. 🙂 🙂

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  29. Good luck tomorrow.Doctors are also humans I trust them but with a skeptical approach! Congrtulations!

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  30. rose

    Congratulations on being FP! Well deserved.

    Like

  31. I just subscribed to hear more from you! Congrats on being freshly pressed!
    Cheers!

    Like

  32. I have three doctors in my family. They are the funniest people I know, but they aren’t joking when they tell me how much this or that is going to cost. Because they are joking instead at the fact that all of that money is going to them. Those evil evil men…

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    • I blame the insurance companies. I think they are in it for the money and for no other reason. Most doctors actually care, I think. And hopefully, they are just being funny. Gotta hope, anyway! Thanks for stopping by!

      Like

  33. One shouldn’t be allowed to practice medicine unless he has developed X-ray vision first.

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  34. Haha,my friend! You know, so much for anonymity!! I told you it would happen to you. So glad to see the old “Fifty Four and a Half” hitting the lights of broadway.

    And … the OSCAR goes to … *very long pause* Fifty Four and a Half!!

    It’s gonna be about 72 hrs of serious fame, oh, and answering a LOT of comments. hehehehehe

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    • Thanks, MJ. Yes, it is fun. But I don’t think it will stick. Especially since they added below a link to “More Technology” and, ummm, well I fear folks will be disappointed!

      Like

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