Daily Archives: February 28, 2012

Making a Difference

All my life, I’ve wanted to make a difference in the world.  I have sought ways to do it.  At last, in today’s mail, I found just how to do it my way.

I guess it’s not really a new idea.  Folks have been improving the world by spreading the wealth for centuries.  That, I’m sure, was behind George Bush’s terrorism-busting shopping suggestion.  The idea is, of course, to spread the wealth and spend money.  So I’m gonna.  I’m gonna spend lots.

Curious?

Well today I got the most fabulous catalog in the mail.  And it changed my life.

Now, I get loads of catalogs.  Truth be told, I buy a lot of stuff out of them.  Clothes, gifts, stuff no one likes or wants.  You know, just like everyone.

But this catalog was different, and not just because it was laminated.  This one told me that I could make a difference and have a blast at the same time.  All the time, not having to mix with the little people.

What was this catalog, you ask.  Was it the Harriet Carter catalog, filled with stuff you can normally only buy on late-night cable TV (like this Skin Tag Remover) along with a generous assortment of vibrators?

Harriet Carter.com

Nope.  Better.

Was it the Heiffer, International catalog?  Could I order some goats and chickens and ducks (alas no coots) for folks so that they can raise livestock and have a better life?

Heiffer International, a wonderful organization, for real

Nope. Way Better.

Was it a Williams Sonoma catalog full of pricey pots and pans in which I can make gourmet treats for the homeless?

Catalog Cover

Nope.  It was beyond my wildest dreams.

It was the TCS and Starquest Expeditions Catalog, The World Leader in Private Jet Travel.  And they invited me along on a Cultures and Cuisines tour!  Can you believe it?  Me!  Here’s the trip:

 

Cuisines and Cultures Itinerary

 

Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it.  But when I went to the website I found that there are other possibilities.  Endless possibilities.  I can, according to the website, Enjoy the Ultimate In Service, Learn While You Explore, AND Follow Your Passion.

Wow.  What’s not to like?

Now, the cuisine and culture tour looks really good.  But the Around the World tour looks, even better.  I can go here:

Angkor Wat, Cambodia

And Here

Moais, Easter Island, Chile

And here

Luxor Egypt

In fact, I can go to all these places!

Around the World Itinerary

Best of all, there will be no shoe removal at the airport because I’ll get to do it on this:

My Wings

 

But best of all, I will be able to save the world while I do it.  I’m pretty sure that George W and Laura Bush will be along for this one because lookee here at just how the website tells me we’re going to save the world:

Make a Difference in the World
By joining this expedition, you support efforts to enhance the conditions of peoples and places we visit. At each destination on the itinerary, TCS & Starquest Expeditions purchases traditional handicrafts made by local artisans, provides supplies for medical centers or schools, or donates funds for essential programs.  (Impressive, no?)

Or

Make a Difference in the World
By joining an Around the World expedition, you will automatically support efforts to enhance the conditions of the places and peoples we visit—there is no further commitment necessary on your part. Our expedition will provide supplies to medical clinics and schools, as well as contribute funds for essential projects that many people depend on. (Nope, I don’t want to have to do extra to save the world.  Trust me, paying for this trip will suffice.)

Which way I save the world is dependent entirely on which tour I choose.  Decisions, decisions.

Damn, it’s wonderful being in the top 1% of the top 1%.  With TCS and Starquest Expeditions you can see the world guilt free.  All this for about $60,000.  Each.  And there is no need to mingle.

******

Travel photos all courtesy of TCS and Starquest Expeditions Catalog.  Saving the world lingo is theirs too.

 

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Filed under Conspicuous consumption, Humor, Hypocrisy