Modern marketing really scares me. And I’m afraid it’s only going to get worse.
A few years ago John and I needed to replace broken toilet that had a built-in shelf above the tank top. (Not the kind of tank top you wear, but the kind with all the parts of a toilet that break.)
We needed a special size and type.
Naturally, I looked online to find the best price. Then off-to Home Depot John and I went expecting to flush away a wad of money.
As we were trying to choose between two models, the salesman tried to help us make the decision:
“You can flush an entire bucket of golf balls down this American Standard toilet and it won’t clog,” he said.
John tilted his head, dog like, and looked at the salesman trying to figure out if he was joking. He wasn’t.
I looked at John and then at the salesman. Somehow I maintained an interested customer demeanor. “Why would we want to do that?” I asked. “We don’t golf.”
“I’m just sayin’ that you could,” said the salesman. “I mean, if you did golf.”
“We probably wouldn’t be golfing in the bathroom,” John said, thoughtfully. “I mean, if we did golf, we wouldn’t golf there. We’d probably do it outside.
“And if we take up golf, I think I’d rather keep the golf balls in the garage,” I added.
“Plus we have a septic system. I don’t know if it is designed for golf balls.”
“It might be hard to explain to the guys when they pump it out.”
We had to leave or we would have wet our pants in the toilet aisle of Home Depot. In spite of the fact that it would be expensive, we opted to replace the innards of our own non-golfing toilet instead of spending – I kid you not – more than $1,000 on a toilet that would fit the spot and accept golf balls.
Since then, though, I have been getting ads for toilets. But not just any old toilet. Strangely shaped toilets. Apparently, to the marketers of America, I not only like to flush strange hard things down my toilets, but I like my toilets to look like anything but. Or butt.
So imagine my dismay when I read this article that explains where modern advertising is heading.
They’re going to mine our DNA
to figure out how to market stuff to us.
The article gives the example of someone who is lactose intolerant getting special coupons for lactose-free stuff.
I wonder if my DNA will tell folks that I’m not interested in what they’re selling.
All the pictures are from Google Images. I can’t wait to see what they try to sell me next!