Tag Archives: Writing

Connections

My sisters and I never saw eye to eye; rather we heard heart to heart through our telephone receivers.  We lived a good distance away for most of our lives.  And so our connections, close as they were, were nearly always via long distance calls.

The ear pieces on the phone grew increasingly warm and comforting with each laugh, each tease and each word we spoke.  We spent hours on the phone, twisting the curly, stretched cord around our body parts, spilling out our hearts and our triumphs and our woes.  But there is no record, no evidence, and sadly fewer clear recollections.

So I made up some memories.

*     *     *

I began to question the wisdom of this trip as soon as the line went dead.

The call Thursday night was unexpected.  Sam and Dave – customers from the burger joint I’d worked in back home — had tracked me down in Boston.  I’d left home six months earlier, and was surprised that the guys had found me.  They had said they were in Boston often and promised to look me up – but so had a lot of people.

Six months away from home hadn’t been nearly as fun as I expected my “coming of age” to be.   I hesitated to admit that I was lonely and would love some company.  But I hadn’t even thought about Sam and Dave – forgotten them, in fact.  Well, I barely knew them to begin with.  Sam was tall, blond, nice smile.  A well done hamburger with fries; Dave was shorter with shaggy brown hair that he often pulled back.  He liked his cheeseburger rare with onion rings.  Both drank Coke.  One of them drove my favorite car, a 1974 Datsun 240Z.  Blue.

“Great, we’ll pick you up Saturday at 10,” one of them said.  Was it Dave?  He and Sam were on separate extensions and kept finishing each other’s sentences like an old married couple.

“Yeah, Steve gave us the address along with your number.   See you Saturday!” said the other – Sam, I guessed.  And then they hung up.

They didn’t leave a number so I couldn’t call them back.  For that matter, they didn’t leave their last names.  First names, a car (cool as it was) and burger preferences.  That was all I knew.  Yet I had just agreed to spend the weekend with them at the Cape.

At only 19, I hadn’t done too many stupid things with guys yet.  So I called my older sister, Judy, 24, who had.

“This is ridiculous,” I told Judy, pacing back and forth across my tiny apartment like a bobcat in the zoo. “I can’t possibly go.  I don’t know who they are.  And I can’t possibly call them back – they didn’t leave their number.  They didn’t leave their last names.  They didn’t even tell me where I just agreed to go.   God, this has all the makings of a Hitchcock picture.”

“Are you Tippi Hedren or Janet Leigh?”  Jude roared at her own joke.  “You’ve known these two cute guys for three years and never went out with them?  Either of them?  Or both of them – together?” she teased.  “God you’re boring.  You’d be Doris Day in a Hitchcock movie.”

“I’m just going to have to talk to them when they get here on Saturday.”

“Ok,” said Jude, swallowing her laugh. “You’ll talk to them on Saturday.  Good plan,” she burst out again, “especially because you can’t talk with them before that because you didn’t get their number,” she said, gasping for breath.

I began to relax.  Somehow, when I told my troubles to Judy, they stopped being problems and became situation comedy.

“You’re a huge help.  I’ll call you back next time I need abuse.”

“Anytime,” Judy said, hanging up.

I spent Friday at work bouncing between laughing and worrying.  I didn’t pack.  Of course I wouldn’t go with them – I didn’t even know their last names!

At 10 am Saturday the doorbell rang.  “Shit.”

“We’re here,” Dave or Sam said through the intercom system.  Another reason not to go – I couldn’t keep them straight.  I buzzed them in, and took a deep breath.  I still didn’t know what to do.

Did it take an hour for them to climb the two flights or were they upstairs in a flash?  Suddenly I felt queasy.  “Oh God,” I thought as I shut the bathroom door, “what would Judy do?”  I sat on the toilet for the longest time, trying not to panic.  At last, I smiled, shrugged and said “oh, what the hell.”  I walked back into the main room and said “I’m not quite done packing, but I’ll be just a minute.”

I threw a bathing suit, a change of clothes, and a couple of other things in a backpack.  “There’s just one thing,” I said, smiling at my dates,  “I’d love to drive the Z.”

*     *     *

Me, Judy, and Beth, a while ago

 

*****

This is a reposting.  Today would have been my sister Judy’s Earth Day Birthday.  I wish I could call her up and give her grief.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bFy7-XuCN2w

86 Comments

Filed under Adult Traumas, Birthday, Family, Health and Medicine, History, Taking Care of Each Other

Advice from a Master

It was a Friday and I was bored.   What was I thinking?

 

It was a Friday at lunchtime, when I thought, what the heck.  I’d always wanted to do it.  But it’s in November.  When I work on elections.  November.  Thanksgiving when I have lots of guests every year and cook for days.  November when I already had a vacation planned.  Oh, and November, when I planned to continue along with, you know, my life.

November, when I start getting into my pre-Holiday “just get me through to February-s.”

November, when I’d already been in a writing funk since my dog Cooper died in August.  Nothing I’d written worked since then except when I was ranting (and how difficult is that?)

So naturally, with no preparation, no ideas, and precious little time, I signed on to NaNoWriMo.

What was worse was that I announced it to everybody in my office (they’re all supportive of my writing).  They were duly impressed and asked for advanced, autographed copies.

I blogged about it here:  https://fiftyfourandahalf.com/2013/11/01/am-i-a-total-idiot/.

The answer to the question posed was/is:  Yes.  A big fat Y-E-S.  I am a total idiot.

But I did learn from my experience.  I think the thing that I learned most was:

Look before you leap You Nincompoop. (Google Image)

Look before you leap
You Nincompoop.
(Google Image)

 

On the bright side, I have been able to write a bit again.  And that was my true goal in signing up.  I wanted to force myself to write again.   And I have been able to.  So I did meet that goal.

And as a wanna-be funny person, I learned a valuable lesson from a true funny person:

Charlie Chaplin

Charlie Chaplin
Image Doctormacro.com

 

Failure is unimportant. 

It takes courage

to make a fool of yourself.

 

Thanks, Charlie.  I think I have that down.

62 Comments

Filed under Books, Holidays, Huh?, Humor, Stupidity

Am I a Total Idiot?

For years I’ve thought about doing this.  There has always been a reason to not do it.  It happens in November.  I always do Thanksgiving.

I have always started a writing project so it doesn’t count towards the goal.

I will be traveling…sleeping…having a life.

I have a job.  A husband.  A son.

But I always wanted to try.  So I just signed up for NaNoWriMo.  So the answer to the title posed in the Title is:  Apparently so.

I may live to regret this.

I may live to regret this.

Wish me luck.  I can’t wait to tell my husband.

 

126 Comments

Filed under Books, Childhood Traumas, Huh?, Humor, Stupidity, Writing

Make Money Blogging!

Ha!!  He laughs at the amount of time I spend blogging.

“What do you get out of it?”  says my husband, John.  “You should be penning a best seller, not giving your stories away for free.  You don’t even have banner ads on your blog!”

John will eat his words when he reads how I can earn the big bucks. Because I just got this business proposition:

Hi. Good afternoon.

I am a blog administrator and I manage a team of solid writers who are passionate about a wide range of topics.

I was wondering if you’d be open to a guest blogging opportunity.
We would pay you $30 for a post on your site (you may choose the topic if you wish) and a small link to our blog at the end of the post in an author bi-line.

If you are interested in working with us, please write me back.

Cheers

I’m going to make a fortune.  At last, the big bloggy payoff.  Nice!

102 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Humor, Stupidity, Writing

Biting Me

Do you ever feel you are being bitten in the butt by your own advice?  Well, that’s how I’m feeling right now.  And it is, well, it’s a bit odd.  Because as I’m sure you’ve noticed, my advice is usually something you can depend on.  Live by.  Hang your hat on.

You see, a while back, my blogging buddy TwinDaddy of StuphBlog wrote a post about how uncomfortable he is getting compliments.

Naturally, being the good friend/know-it-all that I am, I gave him a piece of advice:

“[G]et used to it, TwinDaddy,” I said in the comments.  “We folks who hang out here think you’re swell.  Now say thanks and smile.”

And isn’t that the proper way to respond to a compliment?  No hemming and hawing, no self-deprecating remarks, no false modesty.  Just a simple thank you and a smile.

But tonight I find myself in a bit of a dilemma.  A quandary.  A pickle.  And well, I’m not sure if my own advice isn’t coming back to bite me.  Because I’ve gotten a compliment and I don’t really know how to respond.

I feel like hemming and hawing.

I feel like making a self-depreciating remark.

I feel like being unusually/unnaturally modest.

You see, the last week was a fantastic one here at FiftyFourAndAHalf.  Out of the STAT-is-sphere, if you know what I mean.  And it follows closely on my tour of the ‘sphere, with Peg and Darla and Michelle.   March has been a blast.

And it is ending just as well as it began!  But it is a bit confusing.  Because this past week, I’ve gotten more followers than I got in the entire rest of my nearly two years of blogging.

Cool, you say.  Congratulations!  I want to puncture her ego (oh, wait, you wouldn’t say that to me, would you — you’re my friend!) But the thing is, I don’t know how to accept this ummm, compliment.  Why not?  Why not just smile and say thank you?

Because in the last week, I haven’t written a word.  Nope.  Not one.

So I’m trying to figure out if the secret to getting more followers is to, ummm, not write anything.

To my new bloggin’ buddies – welcome.  I’m in the process of checking out your blogs.  Thanks for stopping by here and letting me razz you a bit.  Thank you for following me.  I’m smiling.

Google Image

Google Image

131 Comments

Filed under Bloggin' Buddies, Humor, Writing