The best line I’ve read about Mitt Romney firing Big Bird:
Let’s channel one of Big Bird’s colleagues, Count von Count, and do some math: The federal government gave $445 million this year to the Corporation for Public Broadcasting, which distributes that money to PBS and, to a lesser degree, NPR member stations across the country.
That $445 million works out to about 1/100 of 1 percent of the federal budget.
That’s like me saying I’m going to lose weight by trimming my nails.
Ladies, ladies, ladies. Please. Don’t get yourself extra-cited about this news item from yesterday.
Just because this man who clearly has never gotten a proper “birds and bees” lecture is possibly going to be the next Senator from Missouri is no reason to get upset. Besides, there are a whole bunch of Senate and House candidates who feel the same way as Todd. But don’t worry your pretty little head about it.
And another thing. Just because the nominee for Vice President, Paul Ryan (R-Neanderthal) agrees with Todd, well, that is no reason to worry either. Here is a link to some of that cute Pauly’s positions, but I’m sure you have dishes to do.
Trust me. Not a thing will happen if these guys are elected. Nothing will change. Not with abortion. Not with birth control. Not with Medicare.
“Now how can you be so sure about all of that, Elyse?” you wonder.
Well, just now I got an email from CNN that reassured me that we ladies just made huge progress in equal rights. So much so that we no longer have to concern ourselves with issues of birth control, of abortion, of violence against women. About equal pay for equal work. Because this is HUGE:
Augusta National Golf Club has admitted its first female members, the private club announced Monday.
The decision to admit former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and business executive Darla Moore of Lake City, South Carolina, ends a longstanding policy excluding women as members of the exclusive Georgia club, which hosts the Masters.
So ladies, don’t get your knickers in a twist about Todd Akin. Or about Paul Ryan. Or about any of the other crazy right wing candidates who may directly impact your life come November.
Wait a minute. On second thought, maybe getting your knickers in a twist would be a good thing! After all, doctors have told me privately that “twisted knickers” is a great method of birth control.
FiftyFourandAHalf 