Twisted Knickers

Ladies, ladies, ladies.  Please.  Don’t get yourself extra-cited about this news item from yesterday.

Just because this man who clearly has never gotten a proper “birds and bees” lecture is possibly going to be the next Senator from Missouri is no reason to get upset.  Besides, there are a whole bunch of Senate and House candidates who feel the same way as Todd.  But don’t worry your pretty little head about it.

And another thing.  Just because the nominee for Vice President, Paul Ryan (R-Neanderthal) agrees with Todd, well, that is no reason to worry either.  Here is a link to some of that cute Pauly’s positions, but I’m sure you have dishes to do.

Trust me.  Not a thing will happen if these guys are elected.  Nothing will change.  Not with abortion.  Not with birth control.  Not with Medicare.

“Now how can you be so sure about all of that, Elyse?” you wonder.

Well, just now I got an email from CNN that reassured me that we ladies just made huge progress in equal rights.  So much so that we no longer have to concern ourselves with issues of birth control, of abortion, of violence against women.  About equal pay for equal work.  Because this is HUGE:

Augusta National Golf Club admits first female members

Augusta National Golf Club has admitted its first female members, the private club announced Monday.

The decision to admit former U.S. Secretary of State Condoleezza Rice and business executive Darla Moore of Lake City, South Carolina, ends a longstanding policy excluding women as members of the exclusive Georgia club, which hosts the Masters.

So ladies, don’t get your knickers in a twist about Todd Akin.  Or about Paul Ryan.  Or about any of the other crazy right wing candidates who may directly impact your life come November.

Wait a minute.  On second thought, maybe getting your knickers in a twist would be a good thing!  After all, doctors have told me privately that “twisted knickers” is a great method of birth control.

62 Comments

Filed under Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Health and Medicine, History, Humor, Hypocrisy, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity

62 responses to “Twisted Knickers

  1. Thanks Renee. It is crazy that folks do vote for these people. They also put people in charge of education who deny evolution, people in charge of science committees who deny climate change and do not understand science.

    It is a scary world these days.

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  2. The minute I heard this nonsense spewing Akin, I wondered if the party would stand behind him or try to maintain some form of logical thought processes. If they don’t stop the attack on women, how can they expect any victories. I can’t imagine a single woman voting for this air bag. But then again, I’ve been surprised by politics before.

    Great to read your comments on this.

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  3. Todd spoke what I fear many others not only think but act upon.

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    • You’re right, YS. He is speaking for a whole swath of the GOP. The ignorant portion has certainly taken over. We really need to keep them out.

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  4. One small step (or swing) for woman kind (Augusta), one giant leap back for for our culture as a whole (Todd and :legitimate rape)…

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    • Personally I am just as happy to not be in a golf club, but of course the whole idea of not being allowed because of gender is quite irksome.

      But Todd Akin’s statement is just saying what so many of these crazy right wingers believe. That rape victims are asking for it, and if they aren’t well, no pregnancy can occur. Why do we women scare men like this so much? I mean aside from the fact that we are so much smarter than they are, that is.

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  5. John Erickson

    Hey, Nonnie! I shoulda known you’d be commenting on something linked with wittle Eddie Munster … er … Paulie Ryan. 😉
    Actually, Elyse, this turkey is unconsciously proving Darwin’s theory of evolution – except, he got everything backward. (Like a lot of the GOP these days.) We’ve hit he missing link, and if we get Romney in the White House, how much further off can the Neanderthals be?

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    • Not far, John. In fact, since that will be the opinion of the day for 4 years, that’ll be Mitty’s opinion too. I hadn’t thought of Ryan as Eddie Munster — perfect. Just perfect, John!

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      • John Erickson

        Can’t take credit for that, that’s all Nonnie. If you haven’t stopped by her blog, you really need to – she doesn’t let ANY of these idiots get away with anything! (And maybe she’ll give YOU a picture of herself. I keep trying, but failing, so I’ve just chosen to picture her as Farrah Fawcett with the attitude of a ‘roid-rage pit bull! 😀 )

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  6. While I was aware of both these things, I wonder if the announcement of one right after the other really is related.

    Meanwhile, the rest of the Right political machine is running like hell from this guy.
    NRSC and American Crossroads announced they will pull their funding for him. Sadly, I think that’s a pragmatic rather than idealistic reaction.
    He could probably make money at the Augusta Driving range, driving the ball collector. And being a target.

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    • The GOP is nothing if not opportunistic. Which makes me think that the folks at Augusta were trying to “change the conversation.”

      And you’re right that some of the right wing groups have pulled their support. But they agree with the statement and sentiment of Toddy and Pauly and Mitty (at the moment). They will pull back now, but will give him money later if he stays in once the furor dies down.

      And these are beliefs of a huge swath of the GOP. God help us if they win the Senate.

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  7. Running from Hell with El

    Stopping in with a tired smile. You know I’m on the other side of the aisle, but I agree 100% with you on pretty much (as far as I can tell) your political views on women’s rights. I think it’s going to take women from both parties to fight this bullshit. Keep up the good fight, my friend.

    And thanks for the giggles above (shaking head–I’ve been arguing with people about Augusta since 1994).

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    • The problem is, El, is that the House is passing inane anti-women bills. They are focused on contraception, on abortion. If the GOP wins the senate we will be stuck in the way-back machine. Because reasonable Republicans are an endangered species in office. The few that were left were Tea-Partied. They’re out of here.

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  8. Spot on, as usual 🙂

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  9. i’m confoozled. if your knickers are twisted, how do you keep the aspirin between your knees?

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    • This is a backup method of birth control. It is particularly effective during rape — sometimes it’s impossible to get to the aspirin bottle.

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  10. Obviously, I’m not a lady… but, I find that my knickers are in a twist. The Akin comments are reprehensible. I get that there are women in this country who subscribe to his far-right, religious beliefs. But, I would like to hope that a majority of women don’t. And, I hope that every woman in that hoped for majority of women will take a look around and realize that our elections, not just the elections in your town, but in every town, are important. Women, and us men, too, need to wake up, look around, and say “Enough!” to this bats hit crazy ideology!

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    • You are right, John on many levels — it is not just a woman’s issue. Birth control, protection for rape victims, comprehension of science — these are all important issues. We simply need to send these cavemen back to the caves.

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  11. Now, we both know I can’t even touch this subject without dropping some major F-Bombs! Not to mention I found out today that my insurance company won’t cover birth control pills, which cost 127.00! The poor thing on the phone got quite an earful when she tried to justify this by saying..”because they’re oral contraceptives ma’am.” Yea, I don’t remember getting in the time machine, but apparently I did!

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    • Oh, Tops, you slut. What would Rush think?

      Did you ask if your insurance covers Viagra?

      We really need to get rid of these Neanderthals.

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      • My daughter is the slut, I’m just a straight up ho. It has to be medically necessary. Yes, I am a maniac and no this is not over.

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        • Oh Tops, you must be so ashamed. Pimping your own daughter for a health condition…

          No, this is not over. I do hope Toddy stays in the race. It’ll improve Claire McCaskill’s chances in Missouri AND we can point to him as the poster child for what will happen if we get a Republican Senate.

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  12. I hear today that idjit from Misery is taking concrete steps to withdraw from the race.

    Now all we have to do is continue to tie that Frat Boy with a Date Rape drug (bet he would try to convince you that isn’t legitimate rape) to do the right thing and get help, withdraw from the R&r campaign.

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    • I just heard on the news that Toddy just sent out an email fundraising letter, saying he will stay in. It is a question as to what he will say/do by morning, however. (It’s 9 p.m. now).

      I am hoping that we can keep publicizing this. It is an issue that is vital not just to women, but to all men who are not, as you would say, azzhats.

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  13. So is Augusta going to permit them to wear shoes and visit other parts of the clubhouse besides the kitchen???

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  14. Pingback: The Meandering Matriarch

  15. I have never tatoo’d in my life, so just hand me the needles and ink because I think not having a clue how to do it gently and sanitarily makes me ultimately qualified for tattoing the guidelines on those jerks’ junk.

    Just think, maybe if it were a requirement to run for any office as a replican then perhaps we could create a utopia free of them…

    A girl can dream, can’t she?

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  16. So I’m to assume if a woman gets pregnant from rape then it was an illegitimate rape? Good to know.

    We are doomed.

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    • Hopefully, we will see to it that THEY are doomed, at least as far as electoral office is concerned. And send them back to their caves where they belong.

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  17. I am still trying to digest all of this. I’m beyond disgusted and stunned.

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    • Yes, it is pretty vile. But these are just the guys that make the big news — there are a whole peck of them who believe this stuff and stay under the radar.

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  18. Remind me, Elyse, what year is this?

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  19. bigsheepcommunications

    Great – so maybe now our schools can teach abstinence and twisted knickers – it’s all part of the new (or old) curriculum of Stunning Ignorance.

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  20. I believe “legitimately” twisted knickers do provide some protection…

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