At last. Finally. Well, I must say it’s been years since it’s happened in front of anybody but my husband. So I’ve decided to drive around until I get pulled over. And then, I can be strip searched! I am so excited. I just can’t wait.
Really! The Supreme Court just decided I could be. And I don’t have to do anything at all. I can be pulled over if I don’t signal a turn, or if I don’t stop at a stop sign, or if I ship heroin from Coast to Coast. I can get pulled over if I didn’t do anything at all. Yup, it doesn’t matter a bit. It doesn’t matter whether I commit a misdemeanor or am a serial killer. Or a terrorist. It doesn’t matter if I haven’t done a thing! Those handsome guys can strip search me. And it’s OK, because I am a big CHIPS fan:
Wanna know what I’m talking about?
Apparently you didn’t hear about the Supreme Court’s latest ruling. By a 5-4 verdict the Supreme Court decided that anyone stopped by the police for any reason can be strip searched. Anyone at any time. Regardless of the charges against them. They can be hauled into the police station and told to drop ’em and spread ’em.
So, if you are stopped by a policeman/woman for any reason whatsoever, you can now be strip searched. For any reason at all. Or no reason at all. Even if you’re not the driver of the car. That was the situation with the subject of this ruling — he was a passenger.
Have you ever:
Missed a stop sign?
Exceeded the speed limit?
Forgotten a parking ticket?
Do you have:
A teen-age daughter?
A teen-age son?
A sense of personal privacy?
A fear of standing naked in front of policemen/women?
Too bad.
I am SOOOOOOOOO glad everyone is protecting my liberties.
My liberty to stand naked in a jail for forgetting my turn signal.
But we’re not at all like eagles. I’m pretty sure we Americans are much more like woodpeckers.
Pileated Woodpecker. Thanks, Google
We come in all shapes and sizes.
Redbellied Woodpecker (yeah, I know it has a red head. I don't name these things)
We’re black and white and red and gray and brown.
Smoky brown woodpecker.
And we hit our heads against hard stuff all the time. Repeatedly.
Take the issue of health insurance, for example.
The people who need it most are the ones who oppose it most. They just slam their heads into those trees, again and again. But at least woodpeckers get bugs and build nests. Human woodpeckers get nothing for their troubles. Well, except troubles. Oh and large bills.
Who can’t afford medical care? Where do they live? Let’s look.
Poverty in the US
Then Check out these maps showing US distribution of diseases and conditions that, well, just might need a visit to a doctor from time to time:
Now, look at the map of folks who don’t have health insurance
Who DOESN'T HAVE Health insurance?
And the map of states whose government are fighting Obama’s Affordable Care Act.
States trying to repeal the Affordable Care Act.
Can I see a show of hands of who sees a pattern here. Yeah, I knew you’d notice that it’s all the folks who probably need health insurance most have elected governments that are fighting against insuring them.
Yup, we’re a nation of peckers.
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Bird images from Google unless otherwise noted.
Maps from the U.S. Centers from Disease Control unless otherwise noted on the map or here:
All this talk by the GOP about banning contraception, particularly for poor women, has me a little bit confused. And for good reasons.
The first one is because I’m pretty sure that the poor and downtrodden aren’t really the GOP’s base. So why do they want more poor people?
Then there’s the money part of this question. Because, last I heard, Republicans are really big investors. Don’t Republicans invest in drug companies that sell contraceptives? You know, birth control? Products that keep people from having babies when they, umm, you know. Don’t Republicans want to make money from their investments?
But the third and most baffling reason I don’t understand their desire to prevent women, and particularly single women, from getting contraceptives — making it more likely they’ll have babies — is because of what single women can and have done:
I’m a white woman of Irish descent, and so I am pretty sure that I can explain exactly why President Obama, and really, all African-American men and women, would do just about anything to return to the way life was before the Civil War. Life was so much better way back then, don’t cha think? Especially for people of color.
Shopping!
You gotta love Sarah Palin. You gotta pay attention to the former candidate for Vice President of the United States. Well, you gotta do something with her. Slapping would work for me.
You see, she couldn’t keep quiet knowing that the new movie GAME CHANGE might just imply that she was, well, not the brightest star in the GOP firmament. She couldn’t rest thinking that some people who once thought that she really did have a brain might see this movie and change their minds. Instead, she made sure that nobody will mistake her for someone who should be allowed out without a muzzle.
I’ve got to say, though, she is so dog-gone creative in her criticism of the President. You betcha!
[Sorry – this is an Obama fundraising ad – I’m not pushing you to give. But the full video, surprise, surprise, seems to have been taken off of Fox News.]
Now, Poor Sarah has contended that this video was edited to quote her out of context. So, here, you be the judge. The stuff between the italics is what was edited out.
He is bringing us back to days, you can hearken back to days before the Civil War, [when unfortunately too many Americans mistakenly believed that not all men were created equal. And it was the Civil War that began the codification of the truth that here in America, yes we are equal, and we all have equal opportunities, not based on the color of your skin, you have equal opportunity to work hard and to succeed and to embrace God-given opportunities to develop resources and work extremely hard and as I say, to succeed. Now, it has taken all these years for many Americans to understand the gravity of that mistake that took place before the Civil War and why the Civil War had to really start changing America.]What Barack Obama seems to want to do is go back to before those days when we were in different classes based on income, based on color of skin. Why are we allowing our country to move backwards?[instead of moving forward with that understanding that as our charters of liberty spell out for us, we are all created equally?]
Huh?
For my international readers, pre-Civil War America was not a nice place for blacks. Trust me on that one.
But you know, only Sarah Palin would say out loud, and in front of a television camera, that a black man would want to go back to the days of slavery, of being sold away from your family, of being whipped to death for the smallest reason, or for no reason at all. Only Freedom lovin’ Sarah Palin could even think that. Yup, those were the days. Who wouldn’t want to go back? Those dresses were amazing. And the lifestyle? Well, it was to die for” You betcha, especially if you were a slave.
Apparently, it was very hot that day.
In fact, I bet Barack is irritated as hell that there is no “Way Back Machine.” Because, although Sarah didn’t say it, I bet President Obama might also like to go back in time to the fifties, where being the biracial son of a white woman and a black man was the height of cool. I bet he’d love those fire hoses — so refreshing on a hot summer’s eve.
And the dogs that sometimes greeted blacks like this one in Birmingham.
Hey, aren't you Rin Tin Tin?
Hey, the President is a dog lover — maybe he could bring Bo with him!
Look! They already know how to play!
Perhaps we can even throw in a visit to South Africa, say, sometime between 1948 and 1994, you know, during Apartheid! He could hang with Nelson Mandela on Robben Island! Who hooo – wouldn’t that be a time.
Nelson Mandela in prison on Robben Island in 1966
Me, I’d like to use the Way Back Machine to find a time when I’d never heard of Sarah Palin.
* * *
There is really nothing funny about Sarah Palin. She is evil and dangerous. Oh, and stupid.
The answer is easier than we think. Yup, I’ve figured out how we can come up with a Republican nominee! Now why didn’t anyone think of it before? I’m smart, but you know I’m not getting paid for this type of work. Do I get a bonus? A finder’s fee? A spot on Mount Rushmore?
Limbo. That’s all we need. Two upright bars, one horizontal one, a drum beat — and we have our candidate! It’s easy! It’s cheap! We don’t have to spend two years doing it. More importantly, we don’t have to suffer through another debate!
You know how it’s done, don’t you? Here’s what Wikipedia, my oracle, says about it:
Limbo is a popular form of dance that originated on the island of Trinidad. The dancer moves to a Caribbean rhythm, then leans backward and dances under a horizontal pole without touching it. Upon touching it or falling backwards, the dancer is “out.” When several dancers compete, they travel in single file, and the stick is gradually lowered until only one dancer — who has not touched either the pole or the floor — remains.
We can cut to the chase and get a nominee lickety-split. Whoever goes lowest, gets the nod. It works for me. And isn’t that where they’re heading anyway — and at much greater cost?
I came to this conclusion after stumbling upon a discussion on the New York Times website, captioned: “Should Candidates Have to Pass a Civics Test?”
My answer, in a word is: “YES.” My answer, in a string of profanities, is longer.
And I’m afraid I have to ask myself: “This is a question we are asking ourselves about our potential future President?” Golly gee. Do ya think that the potential leaders of our nation should be familiar with how the damn nation works?
You know what they say about menus without prices: If you have to ask, you can’t afford it. In this case, if you have to ask, you’re supporting the wrong candidate. The bar here is pretty damn low.
And, realistically, this question is geared at REPUBLICAN candidates. Because I think we can assume that a former Constitutional Law Professor knows, at a minimum, that there are three branches of government. At least there are under the U.S. Constitution — you know, that document that holds up the 2nd Amendment?
A bit of disclosure is needed here, I guess. I lecture on Civics as part of my job. I work in a small company that has an international staff. I’ve realized that it’s not just foreign-born, foreign-educated folks who need to learn how the U.S. Government works. It’s been a long time since 7th grade civics for most adults, and everyone who works with us gets a refresher course.
What I didn’t realize is that folks who are running for the highest office in the nation might need my 30 minute lecture, too. Do you think I can command Newt-like speaking fees to give it?
So here is my plan: We’ll have Mitt, Rick, Michelle, Herman, Ron, Newt, Rick, and John Huntsman do the Limbo. Whoever wins, by which of course I mean, whoever gets down-est and dirty-est, well, they get the nomination. Then I’ll give them my 30 minute lecture about how the government works. They’ll be ready to govern!
The only problem is with those pesky military details, the Commander-in-Chief BS. Well, that’s where I put my foot down. Someone else is going to have to teach them which buttons to press, and which ones NOT to press.
FiftyFourandAHalf 
