Nope. Not the lottery, alas. Although I really should have won that $1.6 billion MegaMillions. Or even the $750 million Powerball. I had plans for that money. What will I do when the bills for the things I bought expecting to be dripping in riches come in?
Still, I will be able to pay a few of them. Because I am about to collect a reward.
Yup. Me.
ONE. THOUSAND. SMACKERS!
The American Society of Gastroenterology donated the money. Already that pegs me as the recipient. I have been keeping gastroenterologists in the money for decades.
But this reward is for the return of a giant, inflatable, orange colon. Of course I know where it is. If you think about it, you do too.
It isn’t hard to figure out — where do you think you can find something orange, inflated, and full of shit? It’s at the White House, of course. 1700 Pennsylvania Avenue, NW, Washington, DC.
Photo credit: USA Today.
That money is MINE!
***
You didn’t think I would let you go without reminding you to get your tuckuss to the polls on or before November 6 (depending on your state’s laws, natch). Election 2018 is vital. We need a check on the occupant of the White House, now more than ever. It’s not going to come from the Supreme Court. It can only come from the House of Representatives.
So vote like your life, your healthcare, and the honor of your country depends on it.
Because it does.
The doctors lost my gallbladder a couple years back. I wonder if I can get one of those inflatable colons in compensation.
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As long as you agree to not sue, I’m sure they’d be willing.
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Elyse, I haven’t seen you around much lately. This week’s JJ42 post was about Poo, so naturally I thought of you. Here’s the link: https://justjoan42.wordpress.com/2019/01/06/how-about-some-tutti-frutti-cutie/
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I don’t think it’s appropriate to compare a colon to President Trump. A colon actually performs some necessary life-saving functions (and doesn’t even brag about it).
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Ah, but we humans can get along WITHOUT a colon. I have for 36 years! I look forward to getting along without Trump, too. Alas, not yet.
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Damn right. Say it loud! #Bluewave
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Oh boy, I sure hope so!
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That poor colon. Wherever it is, it must be terrified and angry. I hope they find it soon, because you never know what an irritable bowel might do.
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Actually, I know all too well what an irritable bowel can do! Of course, spewing shit is what Trump does, ummmm, best. But exploding from inside would be nice in this case!
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Yes!! This is the most important midterm election I can remember, and my memory is pretty damn old!
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Absolutely!
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I was going to vote anyway, Elyse, but if I wasn’t, that intestinal bouncy house and your commentary would have convinced me. Down with Orange, Up with Blue!!! 🙂
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😂 Down with Orange! Up with Blue! Love it! ❤️😂
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Good to see you back! I am anxiously looking forward to voting! So much unbelievable crap going on. No other prez would get away with this stuff. Waddup wit dat? I keep looking for someone to explain to me what his supporters see because it’s invisible to me. All hail the colon!
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Thanks, Kate! I’m not sure if I’m really back, though. But an orange inflatable colon? Well I couldn’t resist.
With the current orange colon in the White Jouse, I have had trouble finding the funny in politics. I pray that changes next week.
And yes!! VOTE!
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I think Sarah Sanders is planning to use it to conduct her future press conferences.
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In shit while dolling out shit. Seems quite appropriate.
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Love it! The inflatable colon, not the current White House resident.
I will be voting like my life depends on it… because in this case, it very well might.
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You’re my kind of woman – for both reasons!
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I would like to reward you just for posting this. “Where do you find something orange, inflated, and full of shit?” Ha! Priceless! But, really, no joke.
Vote! Vote! Vote! (The is the sum total of what we Canadians can do to help.)
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You could give us Justin …
And that line is what got me off my tuckuss to finally post something. Sometimes, things just must be said!
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I’m going in for a procedure on the 6th. I might ask them to just keep me under for two years until this all blows over. I heard whispers that Hillary is thinking of running again, so I might need to be kept under for longer than two years.
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Good luck with that! Vote first.
And if it is the procedure this post brings to mind, here is my gift to you!
http://www.miamiherald.com/living/liv-columns-blogs/dave-barry/article1928847.html
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Hillary has already said the she is NOT running again in 2020. Any whispers are coming from the Rethugs, because they have nothing to run on except fear and hatred, and they need a target for their hate. Don’t help them by spreading their “rumor.”
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Didn’t she recently say she would decide after the midterms?!?!
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She said she would like to be President, but that she is not running again.
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Oh. That’s fine. I really, really don’t want her to run again!
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HA! Indeed, that is the best description of tRump. Make sure to spend that grand on lottery tickets for the next big one!
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Ah, I would have used a fair bit for this election and 2020, I can assure you! But I will win eventually, and woe be it to the GOP!
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Voting.
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Yes! 😘
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Elyse, how are you?
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Hi Jaded! I’m fine, thanks. Sorry I disappeared (particularly bad manners for sickies, I realize). I am having trouble finding the funny in Donald Trump and therefore trouble thinking of things to write about. I’ve become somewhat jaded. 😏
Hope you’re doing well!
Xx
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I’ll be voting – and a lot going on in Ohio. That inflatable colon would look great in your yard.
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It would look great! And since my house is on the market, I’m sure it would add to the value!
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No question.
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