Daily Archives: November 17, 2013

Hertz — Donut

It’s been about 50 years since I said “yes” when somebody (probably my brother, Fred) asked me if I wanted a “knuckle sammich.”

It had been nearly as long since I said “yes” when somebody (probably my brother, Fred) asked me if I wanted a “Hertz Donut.”

It’s important to note that Fred was nowhere to be found when this happened.  So I can’t blame him.

In fact, I don’t recall actually being asked “Do you want a Hertz Donut.”  Nope.  I didn’t hear it coming.  But I got hit anyway.  Me and John did, actually.

Hertz Donut

You see, we flew up here to Maine to check on the repair work to our little cottage up here that was damaged in a fire.

We used our United Airlines frequent flier miles to pay for most of the ticket.  John noticed that they also offered a special deal on rental cars with prepayment.  Hertz!  Located right there in the Portland airport, not a zillion miles and a schleppy shuttlebus ride away.  Plus, the cost was the same as the other car rental companies.

Great!  Yes, I’d love a Hertz, ummmm, rental car.

But neither of us signed on for a Hertz Donut.

Still, that’s exactly what we got.  And it Hertz right in the wallet.

We got to the extremely convenient counter, gave our names and began our transaction.  John pulled out his drivers’ license, and I pulled out mine.

“That’ll be $13.99 per day for a second driver,” said the clerk, a bit sheepishly.

“Excuse me?” John and I said, both our mouths hanging open in shock.   “There’s never a charge for an extra charge for a spouse to drive a rental car.”

“There is with Hertz’ promotion with United,” responded the clerk,  apologetically.  (It wasn’t her fault, we knew that.  She was just doing her job.  So we groused politely, and not at her.)

We had pre-paid for our car, non-refundable, natch.  And we needed two drivers because we were doing all kinds of household chores.

We were not happy.  We had never had to pay extra for a second driver, let alone a spouse.  Have you?

An extra $100.  Hertz, Donut.

I don’t know about you, but I am really fed up with Corporations sticking their hand in my pocket.  Especially when they claim to be offering me a bloomin’ bargain.

Yup, and I'll make sure to go elsewhere from now on.

Yup, and I’ll make sure to go elsewhere from now on.

It makes me wanna give everybody at Hertz a knuckle sammich.


[All images are from Google, Natch.]



Filed under Conspicuous consumption, Criminal Activity, Disgustology, Driving, Huh?, Humor, Maine, Stupidity