Daily Archives: October 27, 2012

Idiot Wind

Damn it!  My most recent pipe dream has just come crashing down around my ears.

You know, the one where I become a wildly successful, NY Times bestselling novelist because of the incredible stories I make up out of a combination of thin air, personal experience and plagiarism?

Yeah, that dream.

And it came crashing down because I must accept the fact that life is so much more colorful than anything I could make up.  Yup, life is just wayyyyyy more exciting than my stories.   Real life, especially during the runup to an election in the United States is in fact, completely surreal.

So don’t be rushin’ around to the bookstore.  You’ll be disappointed.

What was it that forced reality into my otherwise happy existence?

Naturally, it was something I read.  And while I am still drooling in shock, I am just not quite sure what it all means.  I mean, how will things turn out?  Because you see, I just read, that the women’s vote, which I’ve been counting on to get Obama over the edge, will be determined by where women are in their menstrual cycle.   I had thought that, well, thought might play a role.  But I guess not.

Apparently, it’s true.  It’s been studied!  So it must be right, right?

First of all, you won’t hear me comment on the fact that this study was conducted in Texas.  Nope.  Not one word.  Total and absolute silence on the study’s lone star status.

The study was conducted by Kristina Durante at U of T.


Jimmy Durante and Pumpkin

The study presented the results of an internet survey of 502 women with regular menstrual cycles and who were not using hormone-based contraceptives (the pill, the patch and the like).

The researchers found that during the fertile time of the month, when levels of the hormone estrogen are high, single women appeared more likely to vote for Obama and committed women appeared more likely to vote for Romney, by a margin of at least 20%, Durante said. This seems to be the driver behind the researchers’ overall observation that single women were inclined toward Obama and committed women leaned toward Romney.  [Yeah, that’s my emphasis. How could I let you miss that gem?]

That’s ’cause, according to Durante (Kristina not Jimmy), women are feeling sexier, which of course makes them sluttier in my mind or, in Durante’s it makes them:

“lean more toward liberal attitudes on abortion and marriage equality.”

In other important research, Durante has also studied your period’s impact on other vital decisions, like your shopping choices.

When you go to Vote,

Go feeling really slutty

Vote a Straight Democratic Ticket!

*     *     *

I found this fascinating information on Daily Kos, where I find some of the best stuff.  They found it at CNN!  Yup, CNN, “The Most Trusted Name In News!”  For some reason, though, CNN took down the link.

But here is the link Kos provided.  Cause you really don’t want to miss this one.

You’re welcome.


Filed under Books, Campaigning, Criminal Activity, Elections, Family, Humor, Law, Politics, Science, Stupidity, Voting