Medical care in today’s America is really no more than a Ponzi scheme. Just ask Rick Perry.
In my case, it seems that whenever I go to the doctor, I end up going to doctorS. Plural. Somehow, radiologists are always involved. What did folks do before they split the atom? I think all these tests is a Russian (Iranian?) plot to get Americans to wipe themselves out with radioactive dyes so that they — The Russian/Iranians — can take over our country and get up there on the CT Scan machine themselves. They are seriously cool machines. I want one for my living room.
Oops. I digressed again. So back to our hero in the U.S. medical system.
Me, I have a chronic condition that has a nasty habit of wandering around the temple that is my body. (I am quite sure it is a temple, because it keeps expanding.) So I do know the medical system, ummm, intimately.
No, no, no, the illness is not such a big deal. More than anything it is annoying. And gross. And time-consuming. Because when I go to one doctor, she sends me to another, who invariably says, “well you know, you really should see … and along the way there will be tests.” Needles will be stuck into veins, dyes will be injected, and incredibly disgusting potions will be consumed. The doctors don’t feel a thing, though. It hardly seems fair.
But I have something over most patients: Doctors are terrified of me:
I work in drug products litigation
And
I am married to a lawyer
Besides,
- I do my homework;
- I ask questions that I have thought about in advance;
- I write down their answers;
- I do not let them leave the room until I am satisfied;
- I call them with all those questions I forgot to ask the first time around;
- When they don’t call me back, I threaten to haunt them after I am dead.
That last one is REALLY effective.
Tomorrow, I have an appointment with a new specialist. So, I am taking bets here:
FiftyFourandAHalf 
Move to Canada! Good health care totally compensates for the health risks associated with igloo living. And the myths about scurvy are absolutely unfounded- we can get vitamin C from raw seal meat.
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I will give it serious thought! There is nothing like raw seal as the sun goes down, say at 2 p.m.!
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LOL. I love it.
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Glad you’re still around! And I agree completely about herbs. There is so little regulation of them that I don’t trust them at all. And the argument that “they’re natural” makes me crazy. So is hemlock.
Thanks for coming back.
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Great job! Btw, how did you create links (home, about, ect)?
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Thanks, Joe. I usually do my posts in word and insert hyperlinks there. For example I open a window with my “About” post, click on the web address, go back to the new document and highlight the language where I want the hyperlink to appear. Click “Insert hyperlink) and paste the web address in the box. It’s simple enough for a technology challenged person like me can do it!
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Actually, Joe, those are “Pages” go into the Dashboard and scroll down to “Pages” — then you can add a new one.
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Dear Elyse, my suggestion for you is to stop going to western doctors, they are nothing but robots with a set program of how a body is and a calculator to rob you blind. They won’t look at you as a separate case.. Try acupuncture and herbs – it actually works. And by the way, where did you get an idea that Russians or Iranians ( for some reason they are the same to you ) are plotting against you and your health?! TV is bad fo you! And this is coming from a Russian – Please don’t loose sleep over so called Russian plots : )) Russians have their own problems. Anyway, I unlike this post, because I find it tactless to say the least, to blame other cultures without any facts. Not amused. Best, EL
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No insult intended, so sorry that I offended. Sometimes my humor works, sometimes it doesn’t.
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Congratulations Elyse!
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Thanks, Frank. It’s kind of fun!
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My answer to your survey is “the doc won’t know what’s wrong with you, but will give you meds to take for it anyway”. Urgh. I am currently angry and frustrated with doctors myself. I am tired of being tired but don’t want to go see yet another doctor who just wants to medicate me instead of finding out what’s really wrong. Good luck to you on your tests… I hope you get some REAL answers and help.
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Thanks! I am actually a fan of doctors — in spite of hating to go and hating the tests. I’ve been quite lucky, actually. But it is frustrating, especially when they can’t find out what’s wrong. Good luck to you!
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Oh, well, I am so not a fan! I am not enthralled with Western medicine… but I think they’re great for trauma; we’ve the best surgeons and whatnot. I just think they push waaay too many pills to mask symptoms rather than discovering the source of the problem.
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But then look at how our longevity has improved, and infant mortality, and a whole host of other things. I think drugs have a very important role to play, but, like you said, evidence needs to be there.
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Congratulations on being Freshly Pressed, Elyse!
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Thanks Paprika! Just don’t tell Angie — she’ll make me get a tattoo since they don’t give out keychains.
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Your secret is safe with me.
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Phew!
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Peg-o-leg told me it has to be a tattoo of a large silver W for WordPress in order to be served at the methadone clinic. Long story.
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I find this funny, even though I will be a doctor soon. I’m willing to bet, though, that they send you to so many other doctors BECAUSE they are scared of you 😉
In medicine we learn, “If you don’t know… REFER!”
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Good luck — I have many good friends who are doctors and really do have a lot of respect for them. The amount of knowledge they must assimilate is incredible. Most patients have no idea.
And they are a bit afraid of me — my questions are pretty tough, and since I do medical research I do know how to find information that can help them help me. But I choose my doctors carefully, and if I don’t trust them, I don’t go back. They work for me, and I don’t forget that!
And if you can keep your sense of humor when I’m ragging on doctors, you will be a great one!
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Zoiks! And to think I knew you when! Don’t forget about us little people on our way to the top, Elyse!
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I’d never forget about a cool surfer dude who can write. There can’t be too many like you around!
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Best of luck with your health. I agree medical care can be such a nightmare!
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Thanks. It is a pain in the butt. Oh well. As they say, it beats the alternative!
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Not quite sure why all of you continue to go see them at all. LOTS of effective alternative treatments out there, though it does take personal responsibility to research.
Insurance runs the game and they and their doc minions see you as just a commodity. And, well, the IQ of an average doctor is only 118 (18 points above the average human, but 22 below what you need to get into Mensa). So, many of them are not as smart as you believe. And, given the fact that, because of serious infections that are now out of the control of the “specialists,” (specialists just chop you up into tiny, disconnected fragments) hospitals and doctor’s offices are actually very, very dangerous places to go. Not a smart thing to do anymore.
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Actually, in spite of my grumbling, I have great faith in doctors. They have helped me, and I am alive and functioning with a disease that 50 years ago would have made my life hell.
Since I work in medicine, I also know a lot about medicines and how they work. So I do my homework. As you say, it takes a lot of personal responsibility to research. But no matter what path we choose, we need to pay attention and be our own advocate. Speak up is my motto.
I disagree, too, about alternative treatments. Herbs in particular make me nervous. They aren’t studied to the extent that drugs are, and there isn’t the threat of litigation hanging over the heads of the unscrupulous. It is a very effective deterrent in many instances.
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I agree, doctors have kept me alive 33 years; when everyone said I should have died at birth. I may be a cyborg :); but a put my faith in modern medicine.
Also, herbs are not consistant, the potency varies from plant to plant and people reactions (as with any medicine) needs to be observed. The unreliablity should scare people.
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Wow! Look at you, all Freshly Pressed! Congrats! And I can say I read and liked this post way back on February 1st.
Way to go, Elyse!
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Thanks. I usually just go with “Dewrinkled” Freshly Dryer-ed! And you are always well ahead of the crowd, Sandy. Well ahead! 🙂
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Great blog, thank you for sharing and I hope that your health will resume to “normal” as soon as possible… I just have to keep reminding myself that this, for me, is “The New Normal”. LOL
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Getting old “ain’t for sissies” is what my Dad used to say. Me, I’m not usually so polite about it!
Thanks for coming by — love your blog name!
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Thanks Elyse, look out, lol, your the first to comment and therefore my ‘first’ friend here… I’m following you, but not in a creepy way.
So… are you really leaving your marriage? My first marriage pretty much was decided over a song as well, it really woke me up to all that I had been missing. Take care.
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Congrats on being FP, Elyse! Yeah! I will have the shots ready when you want ’em…
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I am going to rue this day. Whatever will I tattoo on my body????
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I tried to warn ya…
Enjoy!
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Did you guys already leave without me? Great, now I’m going to have to go alone and wait until the next time I’m drunk and then it’ll probably end up being a Looney Tunes character or a cryptic Chinese character or a zodiac sign.
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We did, Angie. I suggest you go out and get your WordPress in Chinese above Daffy Duck tat another time.
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Me, I cheated. I did mine in Sharpie. But it is still pretty because I used pink and purple designer Sharpie.
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Yeah. Well. Um…mine is in crayon. But they weren’t the washable kind.
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But it looks good on you. And the school board will approve. That’s all that matters, isn’t it?
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Yikes! Product litigation and married to an attorney? You can’t blame doctors for being a little gunshy. Talk about performance anxiety!
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Yes, I am all powerful! Thanks for stopping by.
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Best of luck and thank you for the great post!
Keep up the awesome work!
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Thank you! And I’m 1/4 German, so be nice! Although I do think I hail from the criminal class (circa 1900) because none of my ancestors would say why they emigrated.
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HAW HAW! That’s awesome. 🙂 I’m sure they were very nice people.
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Either that or serial killers. One of the two, I’m sure!
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Every time we move, or my Dr. moves, I go through the same thing to get my migraine med. – they want to make sure I dont have a brain tumor (for about $3500). The last one I told “Look, I’d be dead by now, Ive had these for 30 years!” Congrats, very funny post!
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Ooh, that’s tough. Do you keep your medical records — now that you can scan them and keep them on your computer it is probably easier to keep track of them (I am paper challenged). Mine are so complex. But I keep a history on my computer (and my husband’s in case of emergency). You should keep your tests, especially if you move a lot.
Thanks for visiting!
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yes, they try to hit me with “it couldve been missed/very small ” etc etc……Im sure theres a class where they learn all that stuff
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They also need to listen to you — because they will practice defensive medicine.
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Unfortunately you’ll probably be suffered to go through more tests than normal because of your profession. You could just do what I do and self-diagnose yourself through the Internet, but invariably you’ll always end up with cancer.
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Yes, I probably do get more tests. Ugh. Then again, I don’t want cancer, which everyone knows is a direct result of internet research.
Thanks Rae!
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Great post!
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Thanks for stopping by, Batman!
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Pingback: Hey Doc? | Infos Press
Thanks Georgette — I just realized. Suddenly I’m getting lots of comments.
Don’t worry, I’ll remember you when … :).
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Congratulations on your FP!!
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Wow… so the phenomenon is found also in the US! Here in the UK the answer seems to be “take blood”. Blood tests for everything, Then you have to have another round to make sure the tests were correct. Then you (possibly) have to take a course of some pill or another- and then more blood tests….and round and round it goes. this of course, if you are lucky enough to have private medical care. In NHS ( National Health Service), they are so broke and demoralised, they don’t take blood for anything. Or if they do you have to wait 6 weeks for an appointment, after which they lose your results, then you go again after another 6 week wait, after which, they may or may not read your lab results…or send them to someone sitting in a cubicle in India (you think I am kidding! I am not!) who may or may not have a lot of experience in interpreting blood tests. Or most likely scenario is they basically just look at you and decide after a couple of months you are not dead yet, it cannot be that bad. So there…one side will bleed you dry and the other… well, they sure as hell don’t know and neither do I….lol.
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I think that the phenomenon is everywhere. Just different. The answer is of course, to not get sick. I keep working on achieving that. Until I do, it will all be a pain in the butt!
Thanks for coming by. Suddenly I’m getting a whole bunch of comments on this piece. Odd!
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Your fab blog is on the front page! You have been Freshly Pressed!
:o)
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I agree with your assessment, however employers don’t like it when you say, I know what the problem is I just need a day of rest. No, they want a letter from the “doctor”, that’s when your process begins again. Also, why don’t doctors just read your records before they see you? It would elevate a lot of repeating myself. As a rule, I return that favor and ask them the same questions reworded until they get antsy. Minor joys of chronic illness.
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Your tactic cracks me up. It’s the little victories in life that make it all worth living.
I am really lucky in that I work with good people and can take a day off (or a few hours, etc.) when I need to. But then when THEY need it I am there, so it works both ways. But it’s a small place.
As to why doctors don’t read your records before seeing you it’s because the way our insurance system (ahem) is set up doesn’t really allow them the time. They are often allowed about 15 mins per patient. I have a sheet with bullets that I hand them. They can look at it in a minute and then spend more time looking at me than at the records.
Thanks for stopping by!
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Aside from finding a theoretical know-it-all genius, do you have any ideas to reduce the frustration of this issue given your situation?
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I wish I did, but no, not really. There are way too many tests done, and even with ready access to doctors (there are two here at my office and they are quite helpful and willing to answer questions), the problem is different with different doctors. Some of them are concerned about malpractice if they DON’T order the tests. Some of them just bought or invested in the technology and have to pay it off. Some of them really believe that the test is necessary. There are other reasons, too, I’m sure.
Perhaps the only real solution is staying healthy. I’m working on that one!
Thanks for stopping by.
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That’s true. AND they get to stick us with stuff. Hardly seems fair.
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I’m sure you know more than all the medical providers you see, but we have to pay them for all the same info we got off the internet.
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He might tell Elyse that because Elyse already did exhaustive research on the internet Elyse probably knows more about the condition than he does.
Hope your test results are favorable.
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That’s true GOF, I probably do. But my insurance doesn’t recognize my brilliance and so I must go to another for treatment!
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I agree with the Good Gatsby. After a fall I walked around 2 days with a throbbing wrist, I just didn’t want to go to the doctor. I also bring my own magazines. I think I’ll start bringing a picnic to make the waiting time (after I get undressed) shorter. Hope the appt. was good news.
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There are more test involved. There are always more tests. 😦
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So how did the appointment go???
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OOh, I should have updated. I was right — there will be tests. Oy.
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Thanks Arindam!
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I passed on those award you nominated me and also an award to you , to say thank you for all the support. http://wp.me/p1RVT0-I5
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Going to doctors is always frustrating!!!
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You can say that again!
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I’m pretty sure that no matter what happens, it will cost lots and lots of money. 😉
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That’s OK. I’m making a fortune blogging.
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Left an “other” answer, but really hope it’s “cure you on the spot”!
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Well, you were right. He will be doing more tests. And I am sure that he is a good doctor, so I’ll do what he tells me to. I do follow what they tell me and it generally serves me well. I just said to Lorna that I don’t understand folks who go through all the discomfort only to ignore their doctors.
I suspect you are medically inclined.
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I have a love/hate relatiohship with doctors since I used to work in the medical field for 15 years and have doctor friends. I like it when they ask me “What do you think is wrong with you?” but it also annoys me.
Good subject!
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Thanks, Les. I too have a love-hate relationship. I’ve worked in the field for nearly 15 years myself and it is filled with brilliant, dedicated folks. I just hate being on the receiving end. I am an “interesting” patient — each and every doctor says that. I know that means bring on the tests …
But I usually figure out what’s wrong with me just before I get to the doctor’s office. God I love Google!
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Hi,
The medical profession must be the same the world over I feel, getting sent to one place after another, it must be in their DNA, they all seem to
do it. 🙂
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Hi Mags,
Yes, it is in the DNA. I don’t mind it so much except when I’m on the receiving end. Or when I’m trying to have a life!
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If only your post was not so close to the truth! We have to laugh about it or go crazy.
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Thanks, Melanie. I just checked out your blog and loved the story of your father’s WWII service. Such a great story.
As for healthcare, yes, I laughing is the only affordable medicine.
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Doctors must feel about you like wait staff and restaurant owners feel about food critics for the local newspaper! Good luck (and luck does have something to do with the “science” of medicine). 😉
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I know a bit more than enough to make me dangerous. I also choose good doctors (I look at their credentials) and THEN I LISTEN TO THEM. I don’t get why some folks go to the doctors and to the tests and then ignore the advice!
Thanks for your nice words.
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Oooh, I love your style with doctors! Good luck with your new specialist. Tell us how it goes, and if you needed to use the “I’ll haunt you” tactic.
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I didn’t need to use the “Haunt” tactic, but I did have to button my own lip. He was a Republican, grousing about Obama’s cuts to Medicare. Wait until the Republicans get a hold of his fees.
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Here in Denmark you can go to a doctor or to hospital without paying a dime.You don’t have to worry about loosing your home if you get sick.But of course we are a socialist country and very dangerous according to the presidential candidates in your country.Hope all goes well for you Elyse.
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You are an evil socialist, I am certain. Any jobs over in Denmark for blog writers with pre-existing health conditions?
I’ve never been, but feel I know it because I love that (stupid, yes I know) movie , The Prince and Me.
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Your reasons why docs are scared of you had me laughing … and in someways a bit scared myself. Meanwhile, good luck with the new one on the scene.
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Thanks for the luck — but don’t let me scare you. I know just enough to annoy the doctors.
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Don’t do that to a surgeon — or the techs or to anyone who will stick you with anything. Be VERY nice to them!
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You’re my new hero. While I know most docs are well-intended, I think the medical system as a whole has completely lost its mind and don’t even get me started on the pharmaceutical industry! (Good luck with your tests)
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Actually, I think that the problem is pretty complex. Doctors worry about law suits (although I know two prominent lawyers with good suits who weren’t able to go forwards), they want certainty (hence every test in the book), they want to cure you.
But as patients, we want instant gratification, a quick cure and no death.
It’s an expensive combination.
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I’m also the person who pulls out a piece of paper with a list of questions at doctor visits. You’re saying they don’t love that and give you gold stars for being a good student?
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They charge you more if you know what you want. And they HATE Google and WebMD.
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I do the same thing. I purposefully try to tick the doc off so he/she will be so exhausted by my list of questions, they’ll get to the bottom of my problem just so I’ll leave them alone. Very effective!
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My response to you (which was a recommendation to not tick off surgeons) ended up way down below. Word Press is messin’ with me again.
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Nice to hear that, “Doctors are terrified of you”. Keep them with that expression only. 🙂 I hope the specialist with whom you have an appointment tomorrow, not reading this post of yours. If so, then I am afraid…he must be thinking about what to do tomorrow. 🙂
Good luck for tomorrow. Take care.
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That’s why I keep my identity a secret! He will never know.
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I recently had a series of tests as part of my physical. Very intense and I’m glad it’s over. Hope everything turns out well for you. It sure can’t hurt seeing these docs and flashing the “lawyer card” at them. I seriously believe the FDA works to keep us sick and medicated.
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Thanks, Tots.
I’m actually a fan of FDA — it is filled with dedicated, smart folks who try to protect public health. I mean that. But I don’t know how to avoid this cascade of doctors — you go to one and it multiplies into 2 and then 4 and then and then and then … makes me nuts!
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They’re handling you with kid gloves, having that lawyer hubby and all. 🙂
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Thanks Chris! I suggest you lie. And use Google and Wikipedia. And look at any doctor like you think that HE/SHE is the idiot. These are all valuable tools normal folks can use in the battle against the healthcare system.
And saying that your spouse is a lawyer is GREAT!
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Good luck tomorrow! I have to go Friday. Again.
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Thanks Susan, good luck to you too!
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It’s sad that going to the doctor is such a frustrating experience that many of us avoid going until we absolutely can’t stand the pain any longer.
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If it were only that it can get painful — it’s when going is so bad that folks avoid it until it is too late that is the tragedy.
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I wish that we all had your credentials for dealing with the health care industry, and I also hope that your health improves.
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Oops. Chris, my reply appears further down. 😦
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NP – I saw it, and it’s very good advice!
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